If your child told you they were gay.... (crimes, school, education)

[MaimounaKande]

I'd be perfectly fine with it. A number of my friends in college were gay, and I've got no problem at all with it.

[MontanaGuy]

I think it really would be tough to deal with. The main problem is that you know they're going to be treated badly by many people and this is someone you love. I do think society is changing and that in another generation it might not have such a stigma. I think if a child knows their parents still love them no matter what it would mean everything and would help them adjust to their situation. After reading your post I think you're a great parent and your daughter is very fortunate.

[Northsouth]

Originally Posted by Lindsay59

What would you do? How would you react? It's bound to happen to atleast some of you, whether you become personally aware of it or not. I, like many of you didn't think it could happen to me either, but it did. First of all, I am a 47 year-old housewife with three beautiful children. I consider myself a Christian and I live a normal, typical suburban life. Everything was going great until my eldest daughter pulled me aside, sat me down, and said, "mom, we need to talk."

I thought to myself, what could this be about? She then told me that she's a lesbian and in a relationship with another girl her age. I asked her if she was sure and she said yes. I wasn't happy for her. In shock, I began to scream and cry; I cried and cried that whole day and the next day. I cried myself to sleep.

But I wasn't crying because my daughter is a lesbian. I was crying because after reading the many negative, hostile, and hateful posts about gays on this very forum, I know of the ignorance, bigotry, and hatred she will face at the hands of people like many of you. People who hate gays and lesbians for no reason other than the fact that they're different from you.

I cried because I know my daughter won't (atleast any time soon) have the God given right to marry (even though convicted murderers, child abusers, and drug lords in prison can. I cried because I know should my daughter or her partner become ill, neither will be able to visit the other in the hospital. I cried because my daughter will face bigotry in nearly every facet of life from people that use religion for hate.

Using Christianity as a tool, a weapon, to spread your hate, you try and spread as much misinformation about gays and lesbians as you can. This despite the SCIENTIFIC explanations which have been given.

It's ironic really; Christians are some of the most hypocritical people on this planet (this coming from a fellow Christian). Most of you who are most adament about continuing discrimination against gays aren't living very Christian lives yourself, yet you're so determined to undermine the love between two people.

What does is matter to YOU who someone else chooses to love? I get so tired of sitting in church and hearing my Pastor (someone who I looked up to at one time) talk about what abominations gays are. One, because it seems a good deal of these pastors (and priests) are dealing with their own issues of homosexuality, but also because it seems like the focus is all wrong.

Why don't you hear such passionate sermons about murderers? Or child molestors? Or infidelity? It is true that all sin is equal, right? Why are gays (two people who happen to be of the same sex in relationships) targeted?

Is is because the Bible says "Two men or two women should not lay together"? Because that same Bible also condones slavery, sacrifice, murder, incest, and theft. Things most of you consider, "sinful" but I don't seem to see the same passion for these subjects that I do for the rights of gays and lesbians.

I'm sorry but the Bible is a very contradictory book. Most adults (atleast rational ones) don't take every single verse of the Bible literally. But this concept is thrown out the window when it comes to homosexuality. Why? You can't pick and choose which verses you'll ignore (like ones condoning incest), and then say homosexuality is a sin. It's all in the same book right?

I see a very backwards society who has used a religion to spread ignorance, and it's not doing anything but keeping us behind. Most gays are law abiding, TAX paying citizens who have every right to marry as anyone else does. Why are they denied this? Because you've decided you want to discriminate against them because YOUR religion says it's a sin?

How would you feel if the government, run by tall and good looking people, made laws which said, "We're not going to give you the right to marry or adopt children, or have basic rights because you're short and unattractive?" Would you like that? SAME DIFFERENCE.

This is truly an issue of their not being enough of a line between church and state, and it's frightening. I do believe that within the next 15 to 20 years (when the baby boomers retire) and this generation takes over the government, gay marriage will finally become legal.

Young people understand (like so many my age are incapabale of) that homosexuality is GENETIC. Therefore, to discriminate against someone because of it is no different than discriminating against someone who's dark skinned, or someone who's not pretty, or someone who's short.

It's unfair, it's hypocritical, and it's sad. My only hope is that some of the most flagrant anti gays have first hand experience of what it's like to have a gay child. Maybe that's the only thing that can open up your minds.

So again, I ask, what would you do if your child told you they were gay?

It's amazing what comes flying off of our fingers as we type when we are passionate and distraught about something. I'm really sorry that this is happening to you. I may be getting ready to walk in your shoes any day now. People who aren't faced with this immediate dilemma and/or who feel so strongly against homosexuality would put their children away or deny them.

There is nothing in the Bible that says you have to do that. This is one hypocritical world we live in. Love your daughter, hate the sin. You can be on opposite sides and still have a relationship. I personally think that there is some inherent biological factor to homosexuality, and if you are more drawn to the same sex, it's just another battle to fight like alcoholism or drug addiction. I feel sure that my son is gay, although he denies it. There are many factors pointing in that direction. I hope and pray that it's not true, but I believe it is something that I will be dealing with soon.

What will I do? Probably cry like you did, get angry like you did and then feel afraid for him. I will tell him the same thing I have been telling him all along....homosexuality is a sin that we have to try to avoid. I will suggest counseling, getting in the group at Church (yes, there is one for gays) and abstain from sex. I would not be asking of him anything that I don't ask from myself. I will then remind him that Jesus was perfect and was celibate, so it is definitely something to aspire to.

We all have free will, and any sin is a choice. You are in for a long hard road, but with God's help we can weather any storm. I will pray for you and your family. Hope I've helped and not hurt.

[Lisa_from_Debary]

My daughter is the most precious thing to me in the world...if she told me she were gay, I would do all I could to create, help her create a loving place for her and her partner/family to bloom...

I would be first in line at the gay pride parades, holding demonstration signs in Washington, the whole thing...
I would be wearing a T-shirt that said "I love my Lesbian daughter AND her partner..."

[dncngrl1964]

I think if my child came and told me they were gay I know I wouldn't be ecstatic about it
But I would
remind them of the immense responsiblity that they are putting themselves into

remind them that there friends may not be as open with them as they were before

remind them to be tested often

remind them to be very cautious of who they were involved with

remind them that the world can be an ugly and uncommodating place for gays

remind them often that it would not change my love for them

[emjayell]

*claps* to the original post

[midnightbirdgirl]

I would love my son, we love our children no matter what sins they may commit. I would be disappointed, sure because the homosexual lifestyle is spoken against in Scripture and my beliefs are firmly rooted in the Word of God, and that cannot be compromised.
But I would still love my son just as God loves me in my disobedience.
MBG

[wesacat]

Lindsey, Although it has been said before, and quite eloquently, I must say it also...I applaud your bravery both in the courage you displayed in seeking to understand your daughter and the courage to post your experience. I, too, wish you were my mother.
I am a Bible-believing, church-going, Jesus-loving, born again follower of Jesus Christ, the Son of God, who was born of a virgin, was crucified for my sins, and was raised again to give me eternal life...and...I am a lesbian. I met my partner 4 years ago. We dated,abstained from sex, and grew to know and love one another. In May of last year, she proposed to me and in Sept. of that year we committed our lives to one another in a beautiful ceremony in Key West. (and yes, I wore white..lol).
My family is Southern Baptist, as am I, and they rejected me long ago when I came out. We have not spoken in over 8 years. Although I send my mother and father cards on every holiday and occasionally write to let them know I am alive, I have never received so much as a card in return.
As for Michelle's family, her mother, who is catholic, at first rejected us. Then, michelle became ill and was hospitalized (and yes, thank God, i was able to visit and stay with her) and her mother came to visit. She saw us together for the first time and much later she called us...out of the blue...and said she had a change of heart. She saw the love we had for each other and "got peace in her heart". Needless to say, I broke into tears and now we call each other often. I now have a mother again, Praise God!
Once again...thank God for you Lindsey!! I pray that God will bless you, as I am sure He will, for your wise and loving treatment of your daughter. I also pray for her and her partner that they will find lasting joy and peace in their lives.

[crashcop]

Originally Posted by carolinajack

yep heavens gate wasnt christian, as it was a cult and didnt follow the moral law of God and interpreted the Bible to suit them, thats why we dont interpret the Bible but rather follow it.

By definition all religious orders are cults. And the Bible has been rewritten, revised and redone 1000s of times, how do you know the "version" you use is correct?



Main Entry: cult : Function: noun Usage: often attributive Etymology: French & Latin; French culte, from Latin cultus care, adoration, from colere to cultivate — more at wheel Date: 1617

: formal religious veneration :worship: a system of religious beliefs and ritual; also : its body of adherents: a religion regarded as unorthodox or spurious;
also : its body of adherents: a system for the cure of disease based on dogma set forth by its promulgator <health cults>

: great devotion to a person, idea, object, movement, or work (as a film or book); especially : such devotion regarded as a literary or intellectual fad : the object of such devotion : a usually small group of people characterized by such devotion

[Stonecoldharbours]

Five years ago, my 16 year old son, along with his two friends, were killed in a freak car accident. So on the eve of Mother's Day tomorrow, just let me close by saying this to all the moms out there, whatever issues you or your children are dealing with, treasure your children. They are one of God's greatest gifts to us.

My prayers and thoughts are with you today...hugs to you