Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I think sometimes it starts with the small things and then slowly expands. Take for example the previously common task of inviting guests for dinner. Easy enough, right. Good food and wine, good company, kids playing somewhere amongst themselves and not interupting the adults. You ate what food you liked, and quietly left what you didn't. If the dog was bothering you, you pushed it away. Not so much any more. Now it's like a military operation to engage in something that has lost it's joy. Ahead of time make a list of dietary preferences and allergies, enquire as to everyone's opinion of the pooch. Cook 50 different dishes to cater to the astounding dietary peculiarities, let off an atom bomb in the house to deal with dust and house dust-mite allergies. Remove the collection of African masks that scare little Johnny. Ensure orthopedic chair for the chronic back pain guest. Have alcohol-free wine available, and Trader Joe's carrot juice. Have 25 kids activities for kids that have never entertained themselves, or been told "no, this is adult time now".
This may seem a stupid example, but people are so used to being pampered at all times, they expect it, and don't get that other peoples lives don't revolve around them. And they are raising their kids that way sadly. These ridiculous whims and pamperings are really taking the joy out of spontaniety. Everything does not need to be scheduled to include only those things that have proven in the past to be enjoyable. People need to be nice, and have a little fun.
I think sometimes it starts with the small things and then slowly expands. Take for example the previously common task of inviting guests for dinner. Easy enough, right. Good food and wine, good company, kids playing somewhere amongst themselves and not interupting the adults. You ate what food you liked, and quietly left what you didn't. If the dog was bothering you, you pushed it away. Not so much any more. Now it's like a military operation to engage in something that has lost it's joy. Ahead of time make a list of dietary preferences and allergies, enquire as to everyone's opinion of the pooch. Cook 50 different dishes to cater to the astounding dietary peculiarities, let off an atom bomb in the house to deal with dust and house dust-mite allergies. Remove the collection of African masks that scare little Johnny. Ensure orthopedic chair for the chronic back pain guest. Have alcohol-free wine available, and Trader Joe's carrot juice. Have 25 kids activities for kids that have never entertained themselves, or been told "no, this is adult time now".
This may seem a stupid example, but people are so used to being pampered at all times, they expect it, and don't get that other peoples lives don't revolve around them. And they are raising their kids that way sadly. These ridiculous whims and pamperings are really taking the joy out of spontaniety. Everything does not need to be scheduled to include only those things that have proven in the past to be enjoyable. People need to be nice, and have a little fun.
Location: The Chatterdome in La La Land, CaliFUNia
39,031 posts, read 23,025,682 times
Reputation: 36027
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zimbochick
I think sometimes it starts with the small things and then slowly expands. Take for example the previously common task of inviting guests for dinner. Easy enough, right. Good food and wine, good company, kids playing somewhere amongst themselves and not interupting the adults. You ate what food you liked, and quietly left what you didn't. If the dog was bothering you, you pushed it away. Not so much any more. Now it's like a military operation to engage in something that has lost it's joy. Ahead of time make a list of dietary preferences and allergies, enquire as to everyone's opinion of the pooch. Cook 50 different dishes to cater to the astounding dietary peculiarities, let off an atom bomb in the house to deal with dust and house dust-mite allergies. Remove the collection of African masks that scare little Johnny. Ensure orthopedic chair for the chronic back pain guest. Have alcohol-free wine available, and Trader Joe's carrot juice. Have 25 kids activities for kids that have never entertained themselves, or been told "no, this is adult time now".
This may seem a stupid example, but people are so used to being pampered at all times, they expect it, and don't get that other peoples lives don't revolve around them. And they are raising their kids that way sadly. These ridiculous whims and pamperings are really taking the joy out of spontaniety. Everything does not need to be scheduled to include only those things that have proven in the past to be enjoyable. People need to be nice, and have a little fun.
Sorry for my OT ramblings.
Excellent post. Unfortunately I've used up my Rep point to you for another post. Your example above is hilarious but it is an example of PC gone amok in our society! In a nutshell, folks need to learn that the world does not revolve around them and have to learn to deal with it!
Location: The Land Mass Between NOLA and Mobile, AL
1,796 posts, read 1,662,396 times
Reputation: 1411
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zimbochick
I think sometimes it starts with the small things and then slowly expands. Take for example the previously common task of inviting guests for dinner. Easy enough, right. Good food and wine, good company, kids playing somewhere amongst themselves and not interupting the adults. You ate what food you liked, and quietly left what you didn't. If the dog was bothering you, you pushed it away. Not so much any more. Now it's like a military operation to engage in something that has lost it's joy. Ahead of time make a list of dietary preferences and allergies, enquire as to everyone's opinion of the pooch. Cook 50 different dishes to cater to the astounding dietary peculiarities, let off an atom bomb in the house to deal with dust and house dust-mite allergies. Remove the collection of African masks that scare little Johnny. Ensure orthopedic chair for the chronic back pain guest. Have alcohol-free wine available, and Trader Joe's carrot juice. Have 25 kids activities for kids that have never entertained themselves, or been told "no, this is adult time now".
This may seem a stupid example, but people are so used to being pampered at all times, they expect it, and don't get that other peoples lives don't revolve around them. And they are raising their kids that way sadly. These ridiculous whims and pamperings are really taking the joy out of spontaniety. Everything does not need to be scheduled to include only those things that have proven in the past to be enjoyable. People need to be nice, and have a little fun.
Sorry for my OT ramblings.
I agree with this--I feel like I'm the last generation of kids who were free to be kids. I played outside, and I learned a lot that way. People who are merely 5 to 10 years younger have a harder time not having rules and structure. I think my way of living is more free. I would hate to look at the world from a place of generalized fear. I mean, I'm street smart, but I know people who are afraid of almost everything. Like stuff I wouldn't think twice about.
Location: The Land Mass Between NOLA and Mobile, AL
1,796 posts, read 1,662,396 times
Reputation: 1411
Quote:
Originally Posted by diva360
I agree with this--I feel like I'm the last generation of kids who were free to be kids. I played outside, and I learned a lot that way. People who are merely 5 to 10 years younger have a harder time not having rules and structure. I think my way of living is more free. I would hate to look at the world from a place of generalized fear. I mean, I'm street smart, but I know people who are afraid of almost everything. Like stuff I wouldn't think twice about.
Sorry to quote myself--but I just realized if I was a man who wasn't white, I would have grown up with a very particular fear of very particular people. Same thing if I was a woman. As a white girl adolescent, I learned to be wary of older white guys--well, guys in general. (Not all of them--but I at least had to think about whether they were potentially going to use me.)
Excellent post. Unfortunately I've used up my Rep point to you for another post. Your example above is hilarious but it is an example of PC gone amok in our society! In a nutshell, folks need to learn that the world does not revolve around them and have to learn to deal with it!
That is an excellent post. I passed along the REPS.
What I find quite interesting is that I was raised in a very patriarchal, authoritarian environment. You never questioned authority, and individuality was never encouraged. You did what you were told, spoke when spoken to, and respect was demanded, never earned. I despised growing up in that environment, and thought it was oppressive and stifling. The funny things is we all grew up being free-thinkers, some still revel in that environment, but most moved on, but what all display is self-discipline.
Todays kids and young adults lack the one thing I personally feel is vital for success, both personally and professionally, and that is self-discipline. Overindulgence and pampering aside, if you have never been taught to, or encouraged to control yourself, I don't believe you will be successful. I love that I am now in a position to provide things and experiences for my kids that I never had, but it is about balance and self-reliance, and family, not "stuff", and always getting your own way.
Location: The Land Mass Between NOLA and Mobile, AL
1,796 posts, read 1,662,396 times
Reputation: 1411
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zimbochick
What I find quite interesting is that I was raised in a very patriarchal, authoritarian environment. You never questioned authority, and individuality was never encouraged. You did what you were told, spoke when spoken to, and respect was demanded, never earned. I despised growing up in that environment, and thought it was oppressive and stifling. The funny things is we all grew up being free-thinkers, some still revel in that environment, but most moved on, but what all display is self-discipline.
Todays kids and young adults lack the one thing I personally feel is vital for success, both personally and professionally, and that is self-discipline. Overindulgence and pampering aside, if you have never been taught to, or encouraged to control yourself, I don't believe you will be successful. I love that I am now in a position to provide things and experiences for my kids that I never had, but it is about balance and self-reliance, and family, not "stuff", and always getting your own way.
Yeah, I had the authoritarianism thing as well. And I hate that. I have no kids, so I have no idea--how do you get kids to control themselves without literally or metaphorically beating it into them? I am sure there are ways that work, I just haven't needed to use them. With the just turned adults I work with, I find I can usually talk them into better behavior. Shame works as a last resort. Like if a kid is misbehaving in class (texting, for example), I make them share their text with the rest of the class. So it's a spanking that fits the crime, and I usually only have to do that once.
Location: The Chatterdome in La La Land, CaliFUNia
39,031 posts, read 23,025,682 times
Reputation: 36027
Quote:
Originally Posted by diva360
Yeah, I had the authoritarianism thing as well. And I hate that. I have no kids, so I have no idea--how do you get kids to control themselves without literally or metaphorically beating it into them? I am sure there are ways that work, I just haven't needed to use them. With the just turned adults I work with, I find I can usually talk them into better behavior. Shame works as a last resort. Like if a kid is misbehaving in class (texting, for example), I make them share their text with the rest of the class. So it's a spanking that fits the crime, and I usually only have to do that once.
That's an excellent classroom control method. I love it!
Like if a kid is misbehaving in class (texting, for example), I make them share their text with the rest of the class. So it's a spanking that fits the crime, and I usually only have to do that once.
That is too funny!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Your example above is hilarious but it is an example of PC gone amok in our society! In a nutshell, folks need to learn that the world does not revolve around them and have to learn to deal with it!
