Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
My family members have asked me what are my wishes in the way of a funeral and I've told them that I have no wishes, no instructions of any kind, it is entirely up to them to do whatever they feel like doing...or not doing.
The thing is....I won't know. Whether they send me off like Don Corleone, or stuff me in a plastic sack and dump it in the Bay, I won't know. It will be impossible at that point to either please or anger me regardless of what they do, so for my expirartion, it is survivor's choice.
I wonder how we arrived at this custom of having to lug the dead body around to any sort of ceremonies celebrating the life of the deceased. If folks are moved to get together and talk about me after I have gone belly up, they can certainly do so without the need for my corpse attending. I think that we should have some government run body disposal system...you die, they come collect the remains and dispose of it in whatever green friendly manner works best. No cemeteries, no headstones or ash urns, no lying "in state"..just people getting together to acknowledge the loss or at least the passing of the person. The dead body is no longer the person, it is but the shell which once contained the personality now gone. It is garbage and should be treated as garbage.
I think funerals are for the living. We lost a daughter a few years ago in an accident and it would have been rough finding closure without a ceremony.
I am an organ donor and don't care much what happens to my body. I'm not much for ceremonies myself, didn't attend my college graduation. I'd much rather have a wake with family and close friends but the older we get the fewer friends we have remaining. And I would want it quick because those that are the closest to you may want to morn in private.
No flowers...charity of your choice would be preferred.
there should be a website (probly is) called "Remember me this way"
and has pictures the person submitted that he/she chooses to submit of friends/families/memories
Being on a website, this can last forever, so when someone wants to "visit" that person who passed, they can, they can also write comments.
what happens so often now?
we visit a friend/loved one near death, they are no longer themselves, ravaged by disease or cancer-thats our last reference of this person (outside of an open casket, which i think is morbid)
also, this virtual website can be a place to submit writings from that person about friends/family before they get too bad off, or god forbid, they die unexpectedly
Rituals marking the loss of a loved one are for the living. Funerals are for the economic well being of those in the funeral business.
All the benefits for the survivors one associates with a funeral, may be brought about without all of the formalities we have been conditioned to think are needed.
Consider...suppose that none of the traditions we now think of as proper for sending off a lost loved one, did not exist. Suppose that it was entirely up to you to create whatever ceremonies you thought might be appropriate.
Would you invite people to a gathering to share their memories of the deceased...and make sure that the corpse was on hand? Would you arrange a traffic snarling 15 mph procession through the city just to move from once place where you were saying goodbye to another? Would you insist that everyone you know spend a lot of money buying flowers which will be tossed the next day?
We have been trained to think that a wide array of specific activities are absolutely the only proper activities associated with saying goodbye to a loved one. But are these prevailing rituals really meaningful to anyone except the folks who make their living from our well conditioned mentalities?
I want a surfer paddle out. (And I happen to know when the time comes, I'm getting it.) In the early morning all your surfer relatives and friends paddle their boards out beyond the waves. The surfers wear flower leis or paddle out with flowers in their teeth. Then they sit on their boards in a circle and join hands in silent prayer. Maybe someone will speak a prayer or say a few words. The leis and flowers are then thrown into the center of the ring of surfers. These are often held by a pier so non-surfers can throw flowers from there.
Then it's paddle back toward the beach and the day's surfing begins. I can't think of anything cooler or more meaningful. (Maybe a little Jan and Dean or Dick Dale played in cars on the way home would be pretty good. I'll have to mention that.)
I want a surfer paddle out. (And I happen to know when the time comes, I'm getting it.) In the early morning all your surfer relatives and friends paddle their boards out beyond the waves. The surfers wear flower leis or paddle out with flowers in their teeth. Then they sit on their boards in a circle and join hands in silent prayer. Maybe someone will speak a prayer or say a few words. The leis and flowers are then thrown into the center of the ring of surfers. These are often held by a pier so non-surfers can throw flowers from there.
Then it's paddle back toward the beach and the day's surfing begins. I can't think of anything cooler or more meaningful. (Maybe a little Jan and Dean or Dick Dale played in cars on the way home would be pretty good. I'll have to mention that.)
Sounds good, as long as there isn't a headline the next day "Shark Attack Disrupts Surfer Memorial Ceremeony"
Heaven forbid there be viewings and all that nonsense beforehand, and don't much care about a memorial service, no eulogy please.
But I would like a handful of people to come to the house, tell a few funny stories, eat some good food and listen to a couple of songs and a poem I picked out.
Mostly I hope that well after I'm gone people visiting the cemetery enjoy the mountain views and admire the really gaudy headstone I hope to have, lol
So, what really does happen to your corpse if you don't want a funeral (a view that I and some here express) or any special burial/ceremonial rites?
If you make no arrangements, others just dispose of it at their own expense?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
