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I'm sort of like you....sort of. I certainly won't date any overweight (obese, I mean) women, and in my experience, having them as friends doesn't work. It doesn't work because they tend to either be interested in me or they have a bad attitude. The bad attitude has to do with their self esteem and being obese, so they take it out on others. I'm not saying this is all fat people, but many in my experience. As for fat guys, I don't really know any, other than acquaintances. I have known them in the past and been friends with them, but thats different than being friends with a woman. In general, my friends are fitness conscious to varying degrees. Thats not because I've sought them out, its just how it is. I don't hate or dislike them, they just aren't friends of mine.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dub D
So heres my background. I was pretty fat when I was in middle school. I'm 27 now and I weigh about the same back when I was 10-13, 170 pounds or so. I tried on some shorts from back last week, 1-2 inches loose on me. Now, I HATED HATED being fat so I lost weight and got skinny enough to become a X-country runner a few years later in high school. Since then, I've always been into fitness in one form or another.
As I get older, I don't take overweight people under say 40 years old seriously. I know with age losing weight gets harder so I give older people slack. However, with people my age and younger regardless of sex...I don't respect them. In fact, I don't befriend overweight people. Now, an extra 10-20 pounds is one thing but I mean fat. Getting tired doing basic stuff like walk around a mall or climb some stairs without getting exhausted. When overweight people give me advice, I ignore it regardless of topic. My good friends can tell know this about me and they can tell the difference with my demeanor and attitude. When I'm at work, I fight this but its always in the back of my mind especially when prior managers are overweight.
And yes I know how shallow this makes me look but its more than that too me. It's a complete lack of self-respect and willingness to live a better life. I know, people have health issues but I really doubt so many people have "thyroid" conditions. In fact, I use to have a low thyroid count when I was 20 and nearly needed medicine. I just changed my diet and exercised more.
I'm able to do whatever I want without feeling embarrassed about my looks. I don't get nervous at theme parks and the awkward seating. I go to the beach and walk around shirtless with no worries...minus a minor farmers tan. I think things like that worth so much in ones life and you can change it with just a few months of dedication. I have a few friends who don't work out nearly as much as I do and they are in better shape. They got a better luck of the draw but all that means too me, I need to work a little harder than most.
Am I just a huge prick or is there anyone else out there like me?
Fat people have crippled the health care system. I have nothing personally against them or their choices. As an outside observer, you can clearly see they do not respect their bodies or themselves to care enough. They use weight as protection, often times they use food to derive comfort and pleasure.
I have encouraged fat people who have lost the weight to non verbally tell fat people how disgusting they are without saying it out loud. Of the fat people I know who have done this, none has gained the weight back. I gave the mantra "lose the weight fat ass" as a non verbal ritual. When they exercise while keeping the weight off, I encouraged them to tough talk the old fat self they once were in their minds. It's never polite to give away your true intentions, fat people should never know what you are thinking. I tell them to never give any body language away as that would be considered cruel. You never want to give anybody the satisfaction of knowing when they self loathe.
Always tell yourself, this helps me heal. Skinny people can help fat people heal by non verbally doing the same for the fat people who have lost the weigh and kept it off. If people complain about my advice, I say no pain, no gain. Bodybuilders spend hours a day in the gym to sculpt their bodies. Fat people spend just as much time eating and watching Jerry Springer type talk shows.
I then remind them of Europe where being fat in southern Europe is taboo. The best way to help fat people is non verbally, they know they're fat. When you remind them, it reinforces their already poor self image.
Ah, yes, more proof that ignorance reigns. So basically what you do is encourage formerly overweight people to be disingenuous and two-faced. You teach them that in order to maintain their own motivation that they have to judge those who are still struggling with their weight. I hope you are not in the "life coach" business.
What is wrong with helping overweight people to love and respect themselves? What is wrong with helping them achieve a sense of self-worth? (These statements made assuming that they NEED help in this area, which is not always the case.) Some of the most harsh criticism toward overweight people is that they do not respect themselves. Well if more people would help them achieve a sense of self-worth maybe they would be motivated to lose weight because they would realize that they are a person of value and that they are worth the hard work and effort that it takes to lose weight.
I think motivation out of a sense of self-worth is MUCH more effective than motivation out of a sense of judgmental thinking. Maybe you should try it.
Good posts, iknowftbll. Couldn't rep you again, sorry.
I'm stumped as to how skinny people are supposed to "non-verbally tell fat people how disgusting they are without saying it out loud." What does that mean ... dirty looks? Are fat people naturally empathic? What does chanting something in your own head without "giv[ing] any body language away" accomplish except to poison your own mind with unkind thoughts?
I completely understand not respecting obese people. Everyone has certainly characteristics or physicality they don't like in another person. That is normal and natural and part of being a human being. What appalls me though is actually coming out and verbalising it. These are the things you keep to yourself. By articulating it you come across as just a horrible person. Sometimes it's better to just keep your nasty thoughts to yourself.
I completely understand not respecting obese people. Everyone has certainly characteristics or physicality they don't like in another person. That is normal and natural and part of being a human being. What appalls me though is actually coming out and verbalising it. These are the things you keep to yourself. By articulating it you come across as just a horrible person. Sometimes it's better to just keep your nasty thoughts to yourself.
Agree, this is a highly volatile subject and should be kept to oneself as far as personal preferences go. I personally wouldnt date a very obese woman to want to know better...but that doesnt mean I cant be friends with obese people and have respect for who they are as created by God. Based on that fact alone, they have infinite worth and should have among all mankind.
I think you're blaming the wrong people. Let me explain.
I wasn't born here, and I've lived abroad off and on several times. Each time I've lived abroad (in Europe), I've gotten thinner without any effort, and each time I've returned to the States, I've gained weight instantly, again, without making an effort. Whenever I live in the States, I tend to be about 15 - 20 lbs over what I feel best at. After experiencing weight yoyo after crossing the Atlantic, I began to ponder what the hell was happening to me. Was it crossing the frikkin' Bermuda Triangle?
I came up with a few ideas as to why this happens to me, and here they are:
1) When I live in Europe, it's set up in such a way that it's almost easier for me NOT to drive. Everything is so close, there are sidewalks, every neighborhood has a market, doctor, stores, etc. I end up walking because there's such ease. Also, the transportation is awesome, so I walk to the trains and so on. It's fascinating walking around, because so many people are walking around, and there are shop windows, etc. etc. No difficulty in walking. Everything is close.
When I live in the U.S., I am forced to use the car for everything, whether it's to get milk, or to pick up toilet paper, or to meet a friend, or to go to a restaurant or coffee shop, or anything. My legs are replaced by wheels, by force. I have no choice, as most places in the U.S. have inadequate transportation. Through no fault of my own, I am forced to sit. I end up having to join a gym and find time from my busy American day to go exercise, something I don't need to do in Europe because I walk so much.
2) When I eat in Europe, I eat in a different manner. There's a LOT of socializing that goes on, and it goes on around food. People invite one another over for food, tea, hors d'ouvres and drinks, etc. When I work in Europe, lunch and mid-morning breakfast is usually at a local outdoor-indoor coffee shop, or family pub, or small inexpensive restaurant, and always with others, and always unrushed. I find that when I eat in the presence of people, I eat less, eat more slowly (since I'm talking), discuss the food, and end up getting filled before I finish what's on my plate.
When I live in the U.S. I often eat by myself at my desk, WHILE WORKING, for God's sakes. It's an awful way to eat. I end up eating fast, not noticing each bite, and (even though I don't notice), I'll betcha my body DOES notice.
3) When I eat in Europe, the foods I eat are different. There's a tremendous focus there on eating fresh. Fresh seafood (for real), fresh fruit, fresh veggies, fresh cheeses, fresh breads, all of which are available at markets. There are fast food joints there, which kids love, but in terms of eating a MEAL, no one considers that a real meal. People also consider themselves a bit denied when they're forced to eat frozen, canned, and instant. People prefer a real meal, with fresh products, and cooked from scratch. Even in restaurants, the menu varies from day to day, and depends on what the local markets have. I think my body functions better with fresh foods. And by the way, even fast food joints are a bit different abroad
When I eat here, the focus is on fast foods, and even in restaurants, they base their permanent menus on meals partly prepared by giant corporations (my uncle runs a restaurant here, so that's how I know this). People have less leisure time here day to day, so getting foods fast becomes of the essence. That's how we end up eating badly here, no time to shop, prepare foods, etc., and less availability of truly, honest to goodness fresh foods.
4) When I live in Europe, I have less stress. I socialize more and always feel that I can depend on my friends. I have LOTS and LOTS more time off, more holidays, more vacation. There's less job-related pressure.
When I live in the U.S., I have LOTS more stress. Socializing requires tremendous amounts of planning: people are hyper-busy, everyone lives sprawled, getting together requires the car, and I never quite feel I'm surrounded by a warm, secure group of friends and family. There's lots of job pressure here, and always the threat of losing the job, being fired, etc. There's little employee respect. LOTS less holidays, LOTS less vacation.
So there it is basically. In order for me to maintain my health in the U.S., I have to make a huge effort, belong to a gym or find time out of my excessively busy American day to exercise. I have to make an extra effort to try to find fresh foods in a place not truly geared toward fresh food. I have to find time out of my super-busy American day to cook something or other. Work is always a problem because restaurants here are expensive and not truly that fresh in food. And so on.
The American lifestyle is NOT a healthy one, physically OR MENTALLY, so these require a gargantuan effort if one is to maintain health. Unhealthy lifestyles are conducive to un-health. This is why I gain weight here and have to fight it, where I don't in Europe.
Bring to that unhealthy lifestyle mix people whose bodies have a genetic tendency to gain weight (which mine truly isn't), and what you end up with is people who get overweight and sick.
Blame the lifestyle. With this unhealthy lifestyle, the healthy have to make a huge effort, and the unhealthy fall between the cracks and get really sick.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aleister Crowley
Fat people have crippled the health care system. I have nothing personally against them or their choices. As an outside observer, you can clearly see they do not respect their bodies or themselves to care enough. They use weight as protection, often times they use food to derive comfort and pleasure.
I have encouraged fat people who have lost the weight to non verbally tell fat people how disgusting they are without saying it out loud. Of the fat people I know who have done this, none has gained the weight back. I gave the mantra "lose the weight fat ass" as a non verbal ritual. When they exercise while keeping the weight off, I encouraged them to tough talk the old fat self they once were in their minds. It's never polite to give away your true intentions, fat people should never know what you are thinking. I tell them to never give any body language away as that would be considered cruel. You never want to give anybody the satisfaction of knowing when they self loathe.
Always tell yourself, this helps me heal. Skinny people can help fat people heal by non verbally doing the same for the fat people who have lost the weigh and kept it off. If people complain about my advice, I say no pain, no gain. Bodybuilders spend hours a day in the gym to sculpt their bodies. Fat people spend just as much time eating and watching Jerry Springer type talk shows.
I then remind them of Europe where being fat in southern Europe is taboo. The best way to help fat people is non verbally, they know they're fat. When you remind them, it reinforces their already poor self image.
I completely understand not respecting obese people. Everyone has certainly characteristics or physicality they don't like in another person. That is normal and natural and part of being a human being. What appalls me though is actually coming out and verbalising it. These are the things you keep to yourself. By articulating it you come across as just a horrible person. Sometimes it's better to just keep your nasty thoughts to yourself.
I think you're blaming the wrong people. Let me explain.
I wasn't born here, and I've lived abroad off and on several times. Each time I've lived abroad (in Europe), I've gotten thinner without any effort, and each time I've returned to the States, I've gained weight instantly, again, without making an effort. Whenever I live in the States, I tend to be about 15 - 20 lbs over what I feel best at. After experiencing weight yoyo after crossing the Atlantic, I began to ponder what the hell was happening to me. Was it crossing the frikkin' Bermuda Triangle?
I came up with a few ideas as to why this happens to me, and here they are:
1) When I live in Europe, it's set up in such a way that it's almost easier for me NOT to drive. Everything is so close, there are sidewalks, every neighborhood has a market, doctor, stores, etc. I end up walking because there's such ease. Also, the transportation is awesome, so I walk to the trains and so on. It's fascinating walking around, because so many people are walking around, and there are shop windows, etc. etc. No difficulty in walking. Everything is close.
When I live in the U.S., I am forced to use the car for everything, whether it's to get milk, or to pick up toilet paper, or to meet a friend, or to go to a restaurant or coffee shop, or anything. My legs are replaced by wheels, by force. I have no choice, as most places in the U.S. have inadequate transportation. Through no fault of my own, I am forced to sit. I end up having to join a gym and find time from my busy American day to go exercise, something I don't need to do in Europe because I walk so much.
2) When I eat in Europe, I eat in a different manner. There's a LOT of socializing that goes on, and it goes on around food. People invite one another over for food, tea, hors d'ouvres and drinks, etc. When I work in Europe, lunch and mid-morning breakfast is usually at a local outdoor-indoor coffee shop, or family pub, or small inexpensive restaurant, and always with others, and always unrushed. I find that when I eat in the presence of people, I eat less, eat more slowly (since I'm talking), discuss the food, and end up getting filled before I finish what's on my plate.
When I live in the U.S. I often eat by myself at my desk, WHILE WORKING, for God's sakes. It's an awful way to eat. I end up eating fast, not noticing each bite, and (even though I don't notice), I'll betcha my body DOES notice.
3) When I eat in Europe, the foods I eat are different. There's a tremendous focus there on eating fresh. Fresh seafood (for real), fresh fruit, fresh veggies, fresh cheeses, fresh breads, all of which are available at markets. There are fast food joints there, which kids love, but in terms of eating a MEAL, no one considers that a real meal. People also consider themselves a bit denied when they're forced to eat frozen, canned, and instant. People prefer a real meal, with fresh products, and cooked from scratch. Even in restaurants, the menu varies from day to day, and depends on what the local markets have. I think my body functions better with fresh foods. And by the way, even fast food joints are a bit different abroad
When I eat here, the focus is on fast foods, and even in restaurants, they base their permanent menus on meals partly prepared by giant corporations (my uncle runs a restaurant here, so that's how I know this). People have less leisure time here day to day, so getting foods fast becomes of the essence. That's how we end up eating badly here, no time to shop, prepare foods, etc., and less availability of truly, honest to goodness fresh foods.
4) When I live in Europe, I have less stress. I socialize more and always feel that I can depend on my friends. I have LOTS and LOTS more time off, more holidays, more vacation. There's less job-related pressure.
When I live in the U.S., I have LOTS more stress. Socializing requires tremendous amounts of planning: people are hyper-busy, everyone lives sprawled, getting together requires the car, and I never quite feel I'm surrounded by a warm, secure group of friends and family. There's lots of job pressure here, and always the threat of losing the job, being fired, etc. There's little employee respect. LOTS less holidays, LOTS less vacation.
So there it is basically. In order for me to maintain my health in the U.S., I have to make a huge effort, belong to a gym or find time out of my excessively busy American day to exercise. I have to make an extra effort to try to find fresh foods in a place not truly geared toward fresh food. I have to find time out of my super-busy American day to cook something or other. Work is always a problem because restaurants here are expensive and not truly that fresh in food. And so on.
The American lifestyle is NOT a healthy one, physically OR MENTALLY, so these require a gargantuan effort if one is to maintain health. Unhealthy lifestyles are conducive to un-health. This is why I gain weight here and have to fight it, where I don't in Europe.
Bring to that unhealthy lifestyle mix people whose bodies have a genetic tendency to gain weight (which mine truly isn't), and what you end up with is people who get overweight and sick.
Blame the lifestyle. With this unhealthy lifestyle, the healthy have to make a huge effort, and the unhealthy fall between the cracks and get really sick.
I just spent 40 days in Europe. I went to 10 different countries and much of what you say is accurate. One thing is, I think Europeans have a similar viewpoint towards overweight people like I do. Not saying its as extreme but its definitely harsher compared to Americans. I know when other people think of Americans; fat, loud, and obnoxious are the three adjectives I hear most. Being overweight here is much more acceptable but I hear Australia is slowly catching up with the USA with obesity.
YEP!!!!! But you knew that and just wanted to bash overweight people.
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