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After reading something in another thread I got curious.
For you single moms or single dads out there, would you prefer dating other single parents or would you rather date someone that does not have their own children?
I have one son, he's 15 and has Asperger's, so I have to keep that in mind with prospective dates. He's recently been diagnosed with bipolar on top of that, so with just my one son, things get chaotic. So I make it very clear and don't sugar coat things a bit with men about that. I find that of the men I've met, or been in relationships with, those with kids have a little more understanding, even if my situation is not at all like theirs. But my ex-boyfriend was very concerned he would not make a good stepfather to my son. He's several years younger, never married, doesn't want kids, so that was a big issue. Rightly so.
If the guy's okay with my situation, then I'm okay with his, whatever it entails (within reason). Although, I did have a meet from an online dating site with a guy who has 5 kids, 4 of whom are teens... I was a little - okay, a LOT - leery about that. We all would probably make the most dysfunctional Brady Bunch household ever. Yikes.
Sometimes it truly baffles me what they want! I've come across many a profile with monikers like X's Dad/Mom and the first line you see sounds like a command - "my kids come first," "my kids are my top priority," "my kids take most of my time" or something to that effect! Well, not a real turn-on on a dating site now, is it?! If that's all your life is about and if there's evidently no room in your life for anybody else, what the heck are you doing on that site?!
I guess like most people they want to have their cake and eat it, too, meaning they keep their fingers crossed to find somebody who'd be willing to give them something in exchange for nothing.
I would prefer to choose the man that is going to love me and treat me good, and love my son and treat him good as well. Whether or not he has kids, doesn't matter to me.
However if I absolutely had to make a choice and there was a gun to my head lol, I would choose the guy with kids. The most important reason being that (assuming he is an actively involved dad) he would be a little bit more understanding and know what it is to be a parent and would know what to expect. Unlike the single guys I've dealt with before that get upset and don't understand why I can't meet them at a bar on a Thursday night at 11pm. I've actually had a guy tell me to leave my then 3yr old asleep by himself lol. Needless to say, that didn't go very far!
Sometimes it truly baffles me what they want! I've come across many a profile with monikers like X's Dad/Mom and the first line you see sounds like a command - "my kids come first," "my kids are my top priority," "my kids take most of my time" or something to that effect! Well, not a real turn-on on a dating site now, is it?! If that's all your life is about and if there's evidently no room in your life for anybody else, what the heck are you doing on that site?!
I guess like most people they want to have their cake and eat it, too, meaning they keep their fingers crossed to find somebody who'd be willing to give them something in exchange for nothing.
Exactly. There's usually a place in your profile where you indicate if you have kids or not, and that's where I leave it. I never mention my son in my profile, other than that. Kinda putting the cart before the horse, for one thing! When the guys write, then I'll ease him into the subject of my son, if I'm interested. Then I hit the guy over the head with the Asperger's/bipolar thing, and they run away, screaming. (Not really. Many guys have been very understanding.)
Exactly. There's usually a place in your profile where you indicate if you have kids or not, and that's where I leave it. I never mention my son in my profile, other than that. Kinda putting the cart before the horse, for one thing! When the guys write, then I'll ease him into the subject of my son, if I'm interested. Then I hit the guy over the head with the Asperger's/bipolar thing, and they run away, screaming. (Not really. Many guys have been very understanding.)
Exactly! Many people may not mind kids, but the presentation is absolutely off-putting!
Exactly! Many people may not mind kids, but the presentation is absolutely off-putting!
I'm surprised how many men do this. And it's often more like a warning: "The most important females in my life are my two little girls, and they always will be, so if you can't deal with that, then move on to the next profile."
Jeebus Cripes. He might as well throw his mother in the mix, too.
At this point in my life I really do NOT want to have any more kids of my own. I don't think many men would be willing to never have their own children but gladly accept mine as apart of their life. At least in my age range.
It screams to me, he had problems before with others he dated.^^^To Neemy
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If that's all your life is about and if there's evidently no room in your life for anybody else, what the heck are you doing on that site?!
Many guys have been very understanding.)
