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I met this very attractive man at an art gallery a little while ago and we went on our first date and everything was just great..I went home grinning from ear to ear , the guy is a total sweetheart and gentleman, funny, charming, very family oriented and is looking to settle down in the near future and last but not least the CHEMISTRY is off the meter. Now from what I've observed over the past few weeks, this guy is def seems like he's husband material.
Now the catch is that he's a musician and has a day job and is very driven but he doesn't have college education and 4 yrs younger (which blew my mind when I found out). I generally date professionals but looking back those guys didn't bring half of the characteristics that this guy brings, they just had nice resumes. Now I'm not a gold digger but at 26 I know I want a partner that can provide stability and take care of his family. Love doesn't pay the bills but money doesn't buy happiness.
Sigh....
I'm sure that it's nice that the CHEMISTRY as you put it, was there (which really means that you just want to boink his head off, which is a purely biological urge related to mating and survival of the species) but guess what? Three years from now, that chemistry *ain't* gonna be there and you are going to be toting around at least one squalling rugrat and possibly two and might even be knocked up with a third by that time.
And you are going to be sooooooooo bitter that this man is happy doing what he loves to do. And you are going to be sooooooo jealous that you cannot "pursue your dream" of being a "professional" woman because you have squalling brats to tend to (unless you hire a nanny, or farm them out to a stranger to raise).
If you cannot love and adore that man for WHO HE IS, and respect and appreciate his CHOICES of profession and lifestyle, then I suggest you move on. There have been many a man who has grown weary of having a wife who is CONSTANTLY nagging him to get a "real job" to "support the family", when in fact, he never wanted this in the first place and made that well known to all parties concerned.
Let him find some earth-muffin girl who will idolize him for his artistic beauty and go find yourself some stock broker who will be your wallet for the next 20 years or so.
Love doesn't pay the bills but money doesn't buy happiness.
Quote:
Originally Posted by KMG1
Umm that is quite an assumption considering the fact that I'm an MBA candidate that just got a nice offer from a reputable investment firm. I'm not looking for a man to merely support me while I lay on my back, that's asinine. What I do want is a partner.
Sorry for my ignorance, your post sounded like you wanted a meal ticket. I'm going to stick with my first assumption. I didn't say anything about you laying on your back, the thought didn't come to my mind, but you wouldn't need an MBA for that. Sounds to me like the fellow you are seeing has his head on straight, why wouldn't he make a good partner? Other than not meeting your profile of a perfect man... One thing life experiences has taught me, you get alot smarter as you grow older.
I know I want a partner that can provide stability and take care of his family.
A professional musician's work schedule and lifestyle is challenging for spouses and family. They work until wee hours of the morning, and after a gig, they like to party with their band mates. There's always groupies around too so infidelity is standard operating procedure. Being with a musician means you'll never have a date for New Years Eve.
Most musicians I know live "alternative lifestyles" that is in conflict with a traditional, stable family life.
Chemistry and charisma only last for so long. Don't let chemistry get in the way of your life goals.
Re-read post #41 by 20yrsinBranson, then re-read it a second time. That Country Girl is wise beyond her years. She is able to say in beautiful words what the rest of us are thinking. You could use some of her smarts that probably didn't come from an MBA. When you have recovered from reading post #41, back up one more post to post #40. Avienne, is another smart lady on the C-D forum, she also has good advice. Take some of these words to heart. No one is picking on you, but at your young age of 26, you need to open your eyes and learn from some people who have been there.
Last edited by Nite Ryder; 10-03-2010 at 01:25 PM..
All I can say is that at your age, my values were completely messed up. I looked for the best breadwinner possible, because I thought that would mean that I would "win" the game. I married someone who seemed like an "excellent" catch. Professional, excellent job, already had a large home, and I was the barbie doll that made it all complete. He did not know how to maintain a real relationship, he put work, above everything. I was miserable for many years, and thought I was the problem. Nope. Save yourself years of misery, pick someone who will love you, and that you love, don't look at the checkbook. Money comes and goes, someone who loves you will make you happy forever.
Re-read post #41 by 20yrsinBranson, then re-read it a second time. That Country Girl is wise beyond her years. She is able to say in beautiful words what the rest of us are thinking. You could use some of her smarts that probably didn't come from an MBA. When you have recovered from reading post #41, back up one more post to post #40. Avienne, is another smart lady on the C-D forum, she also has good advice. Take some of these words to heart. No one is picking on you, but at your young age of 26, you need to open your eyes and learn from some people who have been there.
All I can say is that at your age, my values were completely messed up. I looked for the best breadwinner possible, because I thought that would mean that I would "win" the game. I married someone who seemed like an "excellent" catch. Professional, excellent job, already had a large home, and I was the barbie doll that made it all complete. He did not know how to maintain a real relationship, he put work, above everything. I was miserable for many years, and thought I was the problem. Nope. Save yourself years of misery, pick someone who will love you, and that you love, don't look at the checkbook. Money comes and goes, someone who loves you will make you happy forever.
I met this very attractive man at an art gallery a little while ago and we went on our first date and everything was just great..I went home grinning from ear to ear , the guy is a total sweetheart and gentleman, funny, charming, very family oriented and is looking to settle down in the near future and last but not least the CHEMISTRY is off the meter. Now from what I've observed over the past few weeks, this guy is def seems like he's husband material.
Now the catch is that he's a musician and has a day job and is very driven but he doesn't have college education and 4 yrs younger (which blew my mind when I found out). I generally date professionals but looking back those guys didn't bring half of the characteristics that this guy brings, they just had nice resumes. Now I'm not a gold digger but at 26 I know I want a partner that can provide stability and take care of his family. Love doesn't pay the bills but money doesn't buy happiness.
Sigh....
Congrats on the awesome first date! Sounds like you're VERY smitten w/ this guy! Have you gone on more dates with this man since? Just relax and enjoy the romance; live in the moment sometimes! Slow down!!
He's 22! At least he's not living w/ his parents either working like a dog but not making enough to be on his own or is not working at all. He didn't go to college, so he doesn't have those pesky student loans to pay off. Consider yourself lucky, since a lot of 22yo guys fall into the description I just mentioned. At least he has a day job to fall back on, is driven and ambitious, and has some very great qualities (as you have mentioned).
This guys seems awesome, don't let the concern of money keep you from pursuing a potentially great relationship!
I don't buy that. Sure money can get you into trouble, but if you can't pay the bills, how can you be happy? I'm not saying I'd want to be a millionaire, but I would rather have enough bills to be comfortably happy.
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, the guy is a total sweetheart and gentleman, funny, charming, very family oriented and is looking to settle down in the near future and last but not least the CHEMISTRY is off the meter. Now from what I've observed over the past few weeks, this guy is def seems like he's husband material.
Love doesn't pay the bills but money doesn't buy happiness.
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