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Old 12-13-2010, 05:39 PM
 
Location: Forests of Maine
37,468 posts, read 61,406,816 times
Reputation: 30414

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Visvaldis View Post
Anything can become a mechanical routine. Get a creative partner. Discuss all sorts of fantasies. Decide which can be possible. And, sometimes, a good remedy is to change partners.
For some sex can be very painful. For some whenever PIV sex happens the uterine lining tears and bleeds from the stretching.

For those ladies; regardless of partner, if PIV happens it hurts and takes days to heal.
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Old 12-13-2010, 05:44 PM
 
Location: The Island of Misfit Toys
2,765 posts, read 2,793,395 times
Reputation: 2366
Quote:
Originally Posted by Visvaldis View Post
From a previous post:
Sex really makes things more complicated and unleashes a lot of unnecessary insecurities if only people could learn to be happy with simpler forms of affection.

Insecurities? What other emotions are involved? Guilt? Shame?
If you feel the person you are with values a perfect body for sex above and beyond a spiritual connection, it can make some people feel vulnerable and unworthy of just basic human contact.

And here is how highlighting sex as the most important thing negatively impacts healthy human interaction:

If you are in a bar, for instance, where people are sizing you up solely in terms of whether they would "do you" just from looking at you, the less than a sex bomb people are going to be dismissed before they can even utter a word. The highly sexed brain won't even bother to look for a deeper connection based on interests, ideas, or political ideals or goals.
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Old 12-13-2010, 06:00 PM
 
Location: Blankity-blank!
11,446 posts, read 16,188,106 times
Reputation: 6963
A 'perfect body' (whatever that is) is not necessary for stimulating sex.
Passion is much more important.
Sex is not the only thing, but it is important. Political, cultural, and social views can come later. Looking for a perfect match in all areas can be frustrating and lead nowhere.
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Old 12-13-2010, 08:12 PM
 
Location: Somewhere out there...
3,663 posts, read 8,666,425 times
Reputation: 3750
My husband has zero sex drive, that leaves me wanting it and wishing for someone else.
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Old 12-13-2010, 08:15 PM
 
Location: The Jar
20,048 posts, read 18,310,364 times
Reputation: 37125
Quote:
Originally Posted by Visvaldis View Post
Anything can become a mechanical routine. Get a creative partner. Discuss all sorts of fantasies. Decide which can be possible. And, sometimes, a good remedy is to change partners.
I agree with this, and will add to it by suggesting you get some "toys" , etc.
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Old 12-13-2010, 08:20 PM
 
10,449 posts, read 12,464,091 times
Reputation: 12597
city_data91, I married my wife as soon as I could because we love each other. That's all there is to it. Yes we are still in our in-law's basement (hopefully moving out soon) but marriage isn't about whether you can buy your own house. It's about loving another person.
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Old 12-14-2010, 06:30 AM
 
6,041 posts, read 11,473,258 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nimchimpsky View Post
city_data91, I married my wife as soon as I could because we love each other. That's all there is to it. Yes we are still in our in-law's basement (hopefully moving out soon) but marriage isn't about whether you can buy your own house. It's about loving another person.
Dating is about being in a relationship regardless of whether or not you can support yourselves. But marriage is a more adult decision, that's why you have to be 18. Which I think is still too young, but the point is there's an age limit on marriage. There is no age limit on dating. But some foolish parents seem to THINK they can put an age limit on dating .

At the end of the day, it's your decision to get married. But I think if a couple can't support themselves yet, they should just date. You can be in a relationship and love each other even if you're not married.
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Old 12-14-2010, 08:30 AM
 
Location: Hawaii
2,058 posts, read 3,304,770 times
Reputation: 1576
Quote:
Originally Posted by city_data91 View Post
Dating is about being in a relationship regardless of whether or not you can support yourselves. But marriage is a more adult decision, that's why you have to be 18. Which I think is still too young, but the point is there's an age limit on marriage. There is no age limit on dating. But some foolish parents seem to THINK they can put an age limit on dating .

At the end of the day, it's your decision to get married. But I think if a couple can't support themselves yet, they should just date. You can be in a relationship and love each other even if you're not married.
Citydata91, what in your opinion, is a good reason to get married?
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Old 12-14-2010, 08:58 AM
 
10,449 posts, read 12,464,091 times
Reputation: 12597
Quote:
Originally Posted by city_data91 View Post
Dating is about being in a relationship regardless of whether or not you can support yourselves. But marriage is a more adult decision, that's why you have to be 18. Which I think is still too young, but the point is there's an age limit on marriage. There is no age limit on dating. But some foolish parents seem to THINK they can put an age limit on dating .

At the end of the day, it's your decision to get married. But I think if a couple can't support themselves yet, they should just date. You can be in a relationship and love each other even if you're not married.
I think everyone is a baby in relationships. I see a whole lot of adults acting immature in their marriages. So as much as I would like to agree that marriage is an adult thing, I just can't. Too many adults aren't adults about marriage.

That said, I see dating as more of the phase of getting to know the person. When you feel bonded deeply to someone, then I think it's appropriate to marry. A lot of people, especially now, can't support themselves because of hard economic times. Some people, because of disabilities or whatever other reason, will never be able to fully support themselves. I personally just don't think one's financial situation should be the deciding factor on whether someone gets married.

I do think that getting married is a decision that should be taken with a lot of lot of weight. My wife and I got married at 19. We were together ever since we were 12. We didn't date for 3 months and then get married. We didn't rush into things or do it just so we could tell people we're married. In fact, most people still don't know we're legally married. It's not about an image for us--it's just because we really feel that deeply bonded and connected. We are having a hard time making it on our own right now because we are both disabled, the economy is awful, and all our family that would help us is struggling themselves, so they can't really help us out too much. So we are struggling financially, but the nice thing is that we're in it together which makes it that much easier to deal with.

Just my opinion. There are many ways to be married--there's no one set of rules one has to go by to be successfully married. Different strokes for different folks.
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Old 12-14-2010, 09:02 AM
 
380 posts, read 795,830 times
Reputation: 463
I don't think anyone should even consider marriage unless each person in the relationship is financially stable enough to support themselves individually (if the marriage ends) and more importantly both people are independently happy with themselves outside of the relationship (or marriage). A marriage will do doubt fail if the relationship is the sole reason for each persons happiness.

Equally, no one should have kids unless they are financially and emotionally stable enough to raise them on their own. (Should the need arise)

Id venture to guess most people are not stable enough, or rely to much on the success of a relationship for their sense of enjoyment, thus putting a ridiculous amount of pressure on the success of a marriage.
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