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This thread is completely indicative of why the vast majority of relationships are doomed from the start.
Men just want to get laid by the hottest thing they can get their hands on. And with that comes a desire for variety. Bang Linda tonight, and hopefully bang Susie tomorrow night.
Women crave safety, security, and are by nature completely monogamous. (Once you skip past the b-sht pretenders who think they can out play the men, and wake up feeling like a **** the next morning, swearing never again to have a one night stand)
So yes. It is a game. And when it comes to that game, men and women have about zero in common. We're doomed. When is the asteroid coming again?
Women aren't like men that are instantly turned on, women are slow and like to be turned on slowly, with your mind and heart first before your body, so don't be afraid (once the attraction's there) to tell her spicy things, it could be by message, by phone, directly, when you are with her look at her with desire, with hunger of her demonstrate to her with your actions how much you want her and that you will do everything in your hands to win her heart, this is very important if you are able to start a relationship with her never forget about these details, the last thing I'll say is.
I really like the part that says "hunger for her". Lol, maybe it's because I can relate.
and stepka- totally in agreement with the bolded part. i REALLY hate men who are not MEN. i can change my own tires and my ownoil and yeah, i LIKE IT when a guy OFFERS to help. but i have had guys who don't even know how to do these things and i think you shouldn't even be allowed to drive a car if you can't change a tire. and i will admit when i meet a guy like that i just don't consider him a man. if I HAVE TO BE THE ONE on the highway changing the damn thing then yeah, we got a problem.
the reverse of this is, is when a guy doesn't like it when a woman is too independent. i had a guy friend who had designs on me at one time, and he STILL can't stand the fact that i wanted to change my own shocks and didn't want his help. even though i explained that i wanted to do it myself just so i could say that i knew how and for the pride that that would bring, he just thought i was trying to be "stubborn modern woman" and of course that was a real turn off. its like, let me fight this battle, and high five me when i am done. don't try and make it out like just because i am not weak and mincing that i am not capable of being loved. some guys can't love a woman unless she is something of a damsel in distress. seems to me that isn't much of a man, who needs someone weaker than himself.
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Learning/Knowing how to change tires is a skill any sensible person that drives a car should learn, unless you're filthy rich and can afford getting people to do it for you in quick time, everytime.
It's okay to like guys that can change tires and what not, but implying that real men should know how to change tires is just funny stuff.
As nice and "logical" this might sound, I've been years waiting for it to work.
Seriously? Have you ever perhaps asked yourself, "Gosh, what am I doing wrong?" rather than blame an entire gender?
Let's run down the checklist. See if you can be truly objective about yourself.
1) Are you positive?
2) Do you embrace your life?
3) Do you get up and go to work aware of its possibilities? Or do you slog into the job and watch the clock until 5 p.m.?
4) Do you try new and interesting things? Are you open to everything the world has to offer? Or do you watch TV every night and do the same junk that you've been doing for the past ten years?
5) Do you take care of yourself, or do you look like the Pillsbury Dough Boy?
6) Do you dress yourself with at least some basic awareness of fashion sense? Or is your entire closet filled with just that looks like it was bought at the thrift store?
7) Is your home and your car decorated in early Frat Boy Revival?
8) Are you a good listener? By that I don't mean nodding your head and saying, "Yeah." I mean, really understanding the art of conversation?
9) Are you still a guy? Because items 1-8 on this list doesn't preclude enjoying a baseball game or knowing how to change your own oil.
10) Are you confident?
11) When you are on a date, are you treating the woman across the dinner as somebody with whom you can spend a fun evening, or are you just trying to game her into bed?
12) Are you viewing women with the same shallowness as you think they are viewing you?
13) Are you adopting the attitude of a victim?
14) Are you semi-interesting? Or when you talk, does the other person's eyes glaze over?
In short, women can smell the Walking Wounded, the Desperate and the Cynical from a mile away. It really boils down to being a person that the other person actually might want to hang out with. As Ovid said 2000 years ago, "To be loved, you must first be lovable."
Quote:
Women are not actually attracted to men. There is a vague idea of what a man is physically, and some are better than others aesthetically speaking, but the purely physical appearance of a man is almost inconsequential unless he is horribly ugly or outrageously attractive.
Women are attracted to status, money, how much a man smiles and laughs, how many friends and resources a man has, how full a man's life is -how many "cool,""exciting" and prestigious things he is doing or is connected to.
They are interested in how other people view him - how many people want to be around him, how other people interact with him and whether their interactions convedy that he is special and amazing. They want him to be extremely outgoing and aggressive, they want him to demonstrate his status over other people by dominating them in various non-violent ways.
A woman's attraction to a man is a functio of her jealousy at the thought of another woman having that man. She doesn't care who he actually is or EXACTLY what he looks like physcially, she only cares about the VALUE of the life he has contructed around himself.
A woman basically is a greedy materialistic prostitute. Although that sounds vulgar, it's true. She trades her physcial self to buy into the success a man has created for himself.
I love how some of the men on here totally discount what the women have said about what kind of man they're attracted to and then pull out some crap that's written by a man who is just as bitter as they are. If you hate women as much as this man does, it's written all over you and the only women you'll have any success with will be the drunk ones at bar closing time.
Women are much like men except in one major category--we're much less likely to seek out casual sex. Men (some men) take great pride in putting notches on the bedpost, but women do not. Some women may be quite promiscuous, but they're not likely to brag about it, and if they lie about the numbers, they'll list a lower number. Yes, even in this modern age folks. Now we like sex just as much as a man does, maybe more, but we have to be choosier about who we'll take to our beds. Obviously we're not going to take someone home that we're ashamed of or someone who's so wimpy that it's not even likely that he'll be able to perform. We're going to prefer someone who is likely to stick around for awhile, like a solid man with a little money in his pocket. Looking more long term, we'd like someone who can head up a family and that means strength. Not a dominating strength, but an assertive one--someone who can keep the wolves from the door. I read somewhere that the surest sign that a man is into a woman is when he gets protective towards her, and that's a real turn-on to a woman.
As for the statement about women being sensitive about how others view her man: Really? And men would choose to date a woman of low status who others look down on. Really? For relationships, I believe that all of us, men and women, would prefer to date someone that will fit in within our particular social sphere. Most of us women would prefer to date someone that our parents and friends and kids like and I'm guessing that men would feel the same way. But again, for pick-up purposes, these things don't matter so much--it's just a toss in the hay and you won't be seeing them any more so who cares if they have any social status.
So my conclusion here guys is that you're uber bitter b/c women aren't as likely to seek out casual sex as you are, but that's the way it is, and the sooner you internalize that fact and accept it, the better off you'll be.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Travelling fella
Women aren't like men that are instantly turned on, women are slow and like to be turned on slowly, with your mind and heart first before your body, so don't be afraid (once the attraction's there) to tell her spicy things, it could be by message, by phone, directly, when you are with her look at her with desire, with hunger of her demonstrate to her with your actions how much you want her and that you will do everything in your hands to win her heart, this is very important if you are able to start a relationship with her never forget about these details, the last thing I'll say is. ALWAYS BE A GENTLEMAN, discrete, nice, gentle and loving and BEST OF LUCK
This would totally work for me. Women only need this one aphrodisiac--the knowledge that you're hot for her is all that's required. One caveat--make sure she likes you a lot before you start looking at her with desire or you'll just get labelled as a perv. And as mentioned, build up to it slowly and patiently and she'll be putty in your hands.
Another wise person said, "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Better get acquainted with your right hand because that's going to be your Saturday night date for the rest of your life."
In short, I've never seen a person who held these kinds of views about women who were even vaguely successful at interacting with women.
Oh, and I forgot to mention this in my last post. There is an easy way for a man to determine if a woman is just into money and status. It doesn't necessarily mean that she's a gold digger, b/c a lot of women can make their own money, but it does mean she's not likely to tolerate a man without a lot of his own money to spend, or someone who's frugal. Here's how you do it--train yourself to look for designer labels. If she carries a fancy handbag and wears designer shoes and has a lot of rings on her fingers, she's not going to be happy with hiking as a date. It's possible for a woman to dress quite nicely without these things, but she could be getting all of her clothes at a Goodwill; however it's really hard to find Coach bags at a GW, so that's the real key. I'm not making a value judgment, but if a man wants a women who's not materialistic, then that's how you spot them.
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