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Men listen but in small doses. As long as you keep things short and to the point and don't expect most men to sit through a long dissertation about live, love and the pursuit of happiness, you'll be fine.
The first thought that came to mind on this subject was men are fixers and women like to vent. Both genders are just wired to act differently. I use to always have this problem with my ex-girlfriend, because she use to have a lot to say and I was always trying to give her solutions. This would frustate her so much and I never caught on. I am getting better, but like I said we are wired this way, so it takes time to re-wire your hard drive.
Most of the time you have to listen but not respond. Most of the time she is thinking outloud. No response is needed so you can proceed with whatever you are doing.
HOWEVER!!! If she has some concern on her mind she wants to tell you about then you had better listen up...make eye contact...and side with whatever it is that is bothering her. Even if you think it is the dumbest thing to worry about you had better win the Emmy and side with her on whomever ticked her off for the day.
When I used to share my feelings with my husband he knew that my ultimate goal was to understand a situation that I was facing from "more sides." He didn't view me as a "whiner" or ??? He knew that I had to process all of it and that I would get a "grip" on "what to do" and how to handle things in the end...He enjoyed the fact that I felt safe and comfortable confiding in him. And I respected and valued his input too...I was "here" for him when he needed to talk about a problem or situation that he was facing too. We never viewed each other as "whiners." We all need emotional support at times.
I think a big part of the problem lies in the fact that, apparently, if a woman verbalizes anything other than sunshine, rainbows, and light, it's considered "whining."
Either that or "drama."
It's a huge generalization, but men and women are socialized to communicate differently. Women talk to create a bond and share experience, men talk to convey information and prove status. Even on these boards you'll see more men than women try to "win" a discussion.
Sorry, honey. That stinks. Did you find a different spot?
Ugh, how annoying. I hate it when people do that.
I wish I was with you. I would have given that person a piece of my mind.
What a jerk! I'm sorry you had a rough day.
These are good suggestions BTW. It acknowledges her feelings but it doesn't "baby" her by asking if there is anything you can do for her. However, when somebody has asked me if there was anything they could do for me, I kindly refused.
Now, let me turn the table. What makes you think women DO listen to men? I have news for you, often women do believe they listen but that is not the case. Both gender get frustrated becase the other does not get the point and spin it into "you do not listen" and then clam up, take care.
I read somewhere that women use 20,000 + words per day where men use 7,000 or less.
Not sure on the numbers, but I heard the same.
Some women talk too damn much. Some men tune us out. Our stories are detailed and long.
Like "Dave Chappelle" said, fix me a sandwich, tickle my bells and shut the fck up.
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Why Men Don't Listen To Women...
