Slept with my boyfriend's best friend, I'm so confused! (girlfriends, guys, cheated)
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After knowing my boyfriend's best friend for 5 years, we began having feelings for one another. Last weekend, we finally hooked up. His friend he has been telling me he has "hardcore" feelings for me for a while.
The thing is, after the hookup this weekend, I haven't heard a peep from him. I don't know what I should do. Should I try to initiate contact with him? I feel that if I don't get things talked out between us (whatever the solution is), I might just explode. Any reasons why I've been suddenly frozen out?
As far as my bf is concerned, I'm almost out the door in that relationship and I've told him so.
After knowing my boyfriend's best friend for 5 years, we began having feelings for one another. Last weekend, we finally hooked up. His friend he has been telling me he has "hardcore" feelings for me for a while.
The thing is, after the hookup this weekend, I haven't heard a peep from him. I don't know what I should do. Should I try to initiate contact with him? I feel that if I don't get things talked out between us (whatever the solution is), I might just explode. Any reasons why I've been suddenly frozen out?
As far as my bf is concerned, I'm almost out the door in that relationship and I've told him so.
What do you mean, "almost out the door"? You are out the door, you cheated on him.
As for the other guy, patience. It's only been two days. Yes, you have some things to talk out but if you act clingy, you're going to turn him away.
Who did you tell? Your boyfriend or the guy you hooked up with? If things were over with your boyfriend, why didn't you just break up with him before getting involved with his best friend?
I would imagine that the best friend probably remembered that he was the best friend, and he is dealing with his own guilt for sleeping with his best friend's girl. You may break up with your boyfriend and never see him again, but they have (had) a friendship that has probably survived other girlfriends.
He may want to keep things on the low until you finally break up with your boyfriend. He may then wait a few months or a year before initiating something if he is sincere in his friendship.
What do you mean, "almost out the door"? You are out the door, you cheated on him.
As for the other guy, patience. It's only been two days. Yes, you have some things to talk out but if you act clingy, you're going to turn him away.
I'm in the process of moving out of my bf's house. We still do things together like make dinner, but it's almost like a roommate situation.
I know what you're saying about acting clingy, and I don't want to do that. I'm not the smothering kind normally. I just want to talk things out. Even if he tells me now's not the right time, etc., that's fine, I just really want to know where his head's at.
After knowing my boyfriend's best friend for 5 years, we began having feelings for one another. Last weekend, we finally hooked up. His friend he has been telling me he has "hardcore" feelings for me for a while.
The thing is, after the hookup this weekend, I haven't heard a peep from him. I don't know what I should do. Should I try to initiate contact with him? I feel that if I don't get things talked out between us (whatever the solution is), I might just explode. Any reasons why I've been suddenly frozen out?
As far as my bf is concerned, I'm almost out the door in that relationship and I've told him so.
And you've made 2 guys who considered each other to be best friends into enemies. Congratulations. You will not have any sympathy from me.
Who did you tell? Your boyfriend or the guy you hooked up with? If things were over with your boyfriend, why didn't you just break up with him before getting involved with his best friend?
I would imagine that the best friend probably remembered that he was the best friend, and he is dealing with his own guilt for sleeping with his best friend's girl. You may break up with your boyfriend and never see him again, but they have (had) a friendship that has probably survived other girlfriends.
He may want to keep things on the low until you finally break up with your boyfriend. He may then wait a few months or a year before initiating something if he is sincere in his friendship.
The best friend thing spontaneously happened once (light hooking up) and ever since then, it has kept happening, even though the best friend and I have been trying to not hook up. I know that sounds really lame, but we have a group of friends that we all hang out with and we've tried (and been successful) at not hooking up but it's been difficult because we both have strong feelings.
I've been in the process of breaking things off with my bf, but it's not a situation where he and I both hate each other, it's just something that isn't working out and is nobody's fault. I really don't want to hurt him and plan to either stop doing this or keep it on the WAY down low until enough time has passed. I totally don't want to break up their friendship or cause any drama, anymore than what's already happened.
If the other guy feels super guilty and wants me to back off completely, that's fine. Well, not fine. It hurts of course. But, I'll respect his wishes and do that, I wish he'd just tell me if that's what he wants.
And you've made 2 guys who considered each other to be best friends into enemies. Congratulations. You will not have any sympathy from me.
I'm going to do everything I can to make sure that doesn't happen between them.
That being said, it takes two, so I'm not going to take 100% of the blame.
Also, I'm pretty much going to ignore the venting/angry posts in this thread from here on out.
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