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Then it's something we would need to try to work through if possible. But since I'm not, telling him doesn't seem like it would help anything. I'm not going to wreck their friendship and then just leave. Like I said, if the friend decides to tell, then that's on his friend.
You already did wreck they're friendship....your attitude and belief system is way off, you don't even understand, the hurt your causing...or the extent of what you did...it's like we're discussing a puppy...it's like I'm talking to some child who doesn't have a clue...and what's worse, is, your feeling of entitlement...like you don't even care...
You already did wreck they're friendship....your attitude and belief system is way off, you don't even understand, the hurt your causing...or the extent of what you did...it's like we're discussing a puppy...it's like I'm talking to some child who doesn't have a clue...and what's worse, is, your feeling of entitlement...like you don't even care...
Of course I care. But what's done is done, the only thing left to do now is mitigate the damage.
regardless of what you say, if you were living with your boyfriend and you slept with his best friend, well, let me tell you, that is soooo wrong...and if I were his best friend, I wouldn't give you another look b/c chances are, you'll do it to him someday. A cheater is not a very good title to aquaire...and no matter how bad things are, you don't sleep with someone else...you leave first, get yourself straightened out, but you don't cheat...period.
You in your cheating, affected someone else's life in a negative way...and when you do that, it's going to come back to haunt you someday....when you hurt people like that, you will be hurt...and it's all by your own choice...
You didn't think of anyone else but yourself when you crawled into bed with this other man...and what you did is wrong...
Your confused? Quite frankly, you should feel overwhemingly embarrassed and sorry for hurting someone else in this way...
You need to go to counseling and figure out why you think so little of yourself....instead of making excuses for what you did...b/c if you don't find out why you have so little respect for yourself, you'll do it again and again...what did you think you'd accomplish by doing this? We're humans, we all do things for many reasons, however, most of the time, it's for our own personal gains....and obviously you didn't stop and think about anyone else but yourself when you did this.
I can't help but ask myself, what kind of people are you? Because a friend never crosses that line and sleeps with his friends girl, or a girl with her friends man...it's just not done...it's an unspoken vow to oneself...to do this, is dispicable...and so wrong...there is no excuse for this....and that's what you don't even get...or understand...I guess b/c it's all about you? You were not even embarrassed to put this on line...I would be mortified if I did this to someone....so much so, that I wouldn't want anyone to know I did such an awful thing.
Wow.... relax. You're getting emotionally involved. Everything you said is obvious.
She made a mistake. A really bad one for sure. But stuff happens and the best you can do is figure out how to move forward. By her postings, it's clear that she's fairly intellectual. My guess is that she's in her late teens and/or early 20s and just needs some growing up. There's no need for counseling here. You can't honestly say that every relationship you've been in has been flawless. She'll learn from her mistakes just as you did.
Now why you feel you have to get emotionally involved and throw a wall of text and basically scold her, I have no idea. You might have something deep inside that's been triggered by this kind of behavior that you may want to discuss with a counselor. Don't take it out on other people.
The friend, your new guy is scum who let p**** take over compared to friendship. He lost a friend, sooner or later you and him will be history leaving a friendship torn and a friendship is way harder to find than sex.
Wow.... relax. You're getting emotionally involved. Everything you said is obvious.
She made a mistake. A really bad one for sure. But stuff happens and the best you can do is figure out how to move forward. By her postings, it's clear that she's fairly intellectual. My guess is that she's in her late teens and/or early 20s and just needs some growing up. There's no need for counseling here. You can't honestly say that every relationship you've been in has been flawless. She'll learn from her mistakes just as you did.
Now why you feel you have to get emotionally involved and throw a wall of text and basically scold her, I have no idea. You might have something deep inside that's been triggered by this kind of behavior that you may want to discuss with a counselor. Don't take it out on other people.
I agree with you, however, I didn't get that she was fairly intelligent as far as morals go...and I'm being direct....I don't dislike her, nor am I getting personally involved, but someone has to tell her what she did is so wrong and hurtful....it isn't that she took some cookies out of the cookie jar, she was unfaithful, which isn't a small mistake...she made a huge mistake...I feel that people are not direct anymore, when someone makes an error that effects the lives of others and could affect and scar her boyfriend...not to mention, his best friend...you never know, how your choices will effect others...and could turn them off they're path, and she needs to understand this isn't any simple mistake, it's a big one, which could have life changing effects on others...I think it would be wise for her to see a counselor...because she doesn't seem to understand the seriousness of her mistake...
she put it out there, and I'm simply giving her my feedback and feelings on the subject....you don't cheat on another...you leave them first, she needs to figure out why she had so little respect for herself, and to boot, with his best friend...the implications of this could really effect her boyfriend that she is living with...and shouldn't be taken lightly.
telling him, is going to tear him up...especially when he finds out it's his best friend...when trust is broken, it's a very hurtful thing, not to mention, can be life changing...
in a case like this, I've seen some very horrible things happen when cheating on another...and none of us know these two men, they're mental stabilty nor can we predict, how he is going to take it...and react to it...it can be a very damaging situation...
The friend, your new guy is scum who let p**** take over compared to friendship. He lost a friend, sooner or later you and him will be history leaving a friendship torn and a friendship is way harder to find than sex.
He's really not a bad guy and we really tried to hold ourselves back. He's told me in the past how guilty he feels, it's not like he was like "F my friend" and went for it. This is something that slowly unfolded over several months.
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Please just quit while you're still ahead. I think you've caused enough harm.