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So to her, I would not put the house in his name. What happens if he sells it. I guess he gets the money.
The statement that he has not slept with the other woman sounds too good to be true.
As for coming back to do the laundry......
...... maybe he is leaving an opening. You could say hedging his bets. But maybe, just maybe, the wife should do a bit of self examination and ask herself why he left. My suspicion is that there are push factors and pull factors involved. Maybe the push factor is wife too busy with kids or job or something and not giving any attention to husband. The pull factor of course is the youngness of the other woman.
So to her, I would not put the house in his name. What happens if he sells it. I guess he gets the money.
The statement that he has not slept with the other woman sounds too good to be true.
As for coming back to do the laundry......
...... maybe he is leaving an opening. You could say hedging his bets. But maybe, just maybe, the wife should do a bit of self examination and ask herself why he left. My suspicion is that there are push factors and pull factors involved. Maybe the push factor is wife too busy with kids or job or something and not giving any attention to husband. The pull factor of course is the youngness of the other woman.
He is leaving her for another woman. If something was wrong in the marriage, he should have tried to fix it before moving on. Of course we are siding with her. Plus, it is the woman's friend asking what to do for her friend, the woman. Should we tell her to tell her friend to examine her own actions and see what lead to her husband leaving? I doubt they'd be good friends for long after that!
I am so sorry this has happened. It will be tough for a while, but maybe later on, when things settle, she will have discovered he did her a favor. It happened to me; my ex got another woman pregnant. I was devastated. But now, many years later, i am married to the most amazing man, the partner I was meant to spend my life with. It may turn out well for her too.
She has two choices, lay down like a dog, let her husband completely control her, and she can just be a martyr for him. Or she can stand up for her self, borrow money, get an attorney, and get what she deserves out of this marriage. The husband wants off easy.
Every dollar she spends on an attorney now, will mean $10 towards her children's future. Men are cheap after they leave, and supporting two kids as a single Mom is not easy.
This is a terrible situation. I feel so sorry for your friend. Unfortunately, she's going to need to start thinking in terms of long-term planning very quickly. It's possible the husband may come to his senses later and change his mind (especially once the kids freak out) but she needs to find her base of power and proceed in the best interests of her and her children. Someone who refuses counseling and medication for their condition is not stable and cannot be trusted.
First and foremost, she needs a lawyer. Period. If she's working as a nurse she can afford something. This plan of staying in the house they can't afford while his credit is ruined is not only sketchy from a credit sense (he may very well come back later and claim she was the one living there, etc) but it simply delays the problem instead of facing it. If she can't afford to live in the house without his income, they need to move now and start living within their means in an apartment. She needs to file for child support now. This cozy little picture he's imagining of him and the younger model with the toddler needs to be replaced by the reality of two kids of his who resent him because they have to move, who understand fully that this was his choice, and a new GF/wife who doesn't have the benefit of his full paycheck because a hefty portion is going to support the children he chose to make. She needs to do this legally and protect herself and her children.
Also if she's a nurse working full time, she most certainly can afford a lawyer, she doesn't even need the free legal services designed for the welfare dependent.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rkb0305
She needs a lawyer no matter what the cost.
It always drives me crazy to hear people say they can't afford a lawyer when they risk losing EVERYTHING, especially when there are assets.
It's illogical. If they have assets to lose, they can afford a lawyer!
It's better to pay a few thousand dollars to a lawyer than to lose potentially hundreds of thousands in assets.
It always drives me crazy to hear people say they can't afford a lawyer when they risk losing EVERYTHING, especially when there are assets.
It's illogical. If they have assets to lose, they can afford a lawyer!
It's better to pay a few thousand dollars to a lawyer than to lose potentially hundreds of thousands in assets.
And she can recoup that money anyway if she demands that he pays for her lawyer bills as part of a settlement. I know if it was me, I wouldn't give a darn and higher the BEST divorce lawyer there is ala McCartney and Mills.
This man left your friend and their children for a younger woman who he says he is not 'sleeping' with. I find that hard to believe.
I had a friend who went through the same bs and all that time he was shagging the new one. The new one thought she would get everything my friend had and now...
My friend has her house, car, and he has to pay everything for their daughter. The girlfriend left him when she found out he was penniless. Now Mr. Trousersnake is busy begging my friend to 'work things out'. Yeah over her dead body...
Your friend should be able to afford an attorney and get one, if she does not then she is not thinking. The children will be ok as long as the mom does not get angry and start demeaning their dad and play a game at the kids' expense. No one wants to ever go through this and your friend will get through it with the children just take 1 day at a time or even 1 hour at a time. If the kids are not involved in anything (sports, church, etc.)this is the time to do it. Less time to think about what is going on in family life the better let them concentrate on something else and not harp on that. Your friend is a battered wife in some ways just because she does not have bruises or any physical issues she has just been betrayed by someone that she thought she would spend the rest of her life with. My sister went through a divorce and she never had bruises but that man did a number on her mentally. Good luck and God Bless, your best thing to do is listen to your friend and be their when she needs a shoulder to cry on and sometimes not even make any comments just listen.
Isn't it interesting how that often happens? These women who have affairs with married men think they'll be living the high life after the divorce.
So true! Do not even get me started because I am waiting for the day my FIL's golddigging cow gets found out by her loyal military husband. Penniless I pray she will be...
Horrible as it sounds but it amazes me how women who get involved with married men think it is ok to do such a thing and expect everything the wife has or worked torwards.
Not me...Mr. X knows that I would take him to the cleaners and back if he ever did and make his butt pay alimony for the rest of my life, I would purposely not get remarried just to teach him a lesson.
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He is leaving her for another woman. If something was wrong in the marriage, he should have tried to fix it before moving on. Of course we are siding with her. Plus, it is the woman's friend asking what to do for her friend, the woman. Should we tell her to tell her friend to examine her own actions and see what lead to her husband leaving? I doubt they'd be good friends for long after that!
