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You talked about how you felt about him but can't talk about this? Just a simple "Why? What's up (snicker ) with that?", would have sufficed.
Your relationship started off ambiguously with fwb since there were no feelings at the time and now it's supposedly that he's on the same page about his feelings. Yet, something's wrong. It might be he regrets saying he had feelings because he didn't want to hurt yours and he just kneejerked you an answer but now is reluctant to have sex since he'll have a responsibility to keep things going with you although it's crazy since you seem to be fine with just hanging out and letting whatever happen rather than going out on a proper date. Still, guys have that proper gene many women lack so the 'feelings' talk has taken on so much more than he ever anticipated.
In short, your feelings talk screwed it up. Whatever it is, it ain't a relationship. You can't just hope to morph into something real. Guys like things to start off in a logical pattern. Anything else just throws them off.
What it looks like to me is that he has "horny" feelings for you but not emotional ones...not the way you have for him. So he's not going to have sex with you, because he knows that no matter how casual you try to be about it now, you're going to attach even more emotional feelings to him, and he doesn't want that.
I mean, isn't it more horrible (for both parties involved) to keep leading someone on?
What do you think? Have you ever been in this position before, where a guy "liked" you that way but you didn't like him? How comfortable would you have felt literally telling him to get lost, if he told you he had feelings for you and you'd already slept together? Be honest. Plus, by the way, how is he leading you on? He's remaining friends with you which you claim to want and he is actively preventing any sex between the two of you. He even removed your hand when easy sex was right there, literally for the taking. How is that leading you on?
If just being friends feels like leading on to you, then you can't even do that right now. Make a clean break.
You're looking for excuses and reasons in his behavior; you're hoping something in all this is saying he has similar feelings for you. But there are none. He doesn't like you "that way." Don't waste your time. You can't "make" him want you. Again, I am very sorry. I know this hurts. I think most of us have had it happen at least once.
What do you think? Have you ever been in this position before, where a guy "liked" you that way but you didn't like him? How comfortable would you have felt literally telling him to get lost, if he told you he had feelings for you and you'd already slept together? Be honest.
Personally, when I'm done w a guy, I'm done. In that situation, I don't ask him to sleep over at my house and invite him to snuggle w me in my bed. If a guy likes me "like that" and I only like him as a friend, I try not to hang out w him alone or in a private place so that he doesn't get ideas. If you know someone likes you bc they literally just told you that how could you NOT think they would get ideas if you hang out w them all day and then invite them to snuggle in you bed? He KNOWS how I was feeling.
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Originally Posted by JerZ
You're looking for excuses and reasons in his behavior; you're hoping something in all this is saying he has similar feelings for you. But there are none. He doesn't like you "that way." Don't waste your time. You can't "make" him want you. Again, I am very sorry. I know this hurts. I think most of us have had it happen at least once.
Maybe he doesn't feel that way about me, but I def think I'm getting mixed messages and that it's not all me reading too much into it.
He doesn't tell you to 'buzz off' because he's trying to be nice. But you'll never really know if you don't talk to him about it. If this is really something and if he does truly like you, then you need to communicate (1st step into adult relationships) or it will never go anywhere.
Personally, when I'm done w a guy, I'm done. In that situation, I don't ask him to sleep over at my house and invite him to snuggle w me in my bed. If a guy likes me "like that" and I only like him as a friend, I try not to hang out w him alone or in a private place so that he doesn't get ideas.
Because he's tempted sexually. I mean you're literally reaching for his penis at one point in this story. If you're going to grab for his willie, it shows before the two of you ever get to "snuggling" and he's tempted. He's human. This guy knows you'd do him at a nod. That's hard to resist so he starts the "snuggling" but where the rubber hits the road, he halts it because he knows you're too invested emotionally, and he's not invested emotionally. He is being adult about this and trying not to hurt your feelings further, while struggling with the fact that there is this girl he can literally plug whenever he wants...a huge, huge, huge, huge temptation. In the end, he's making the right choice: not going through with it. Respect him for that. Also respect that he doesn't want this. No is no.
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Originally Posted by SunshineFlower
Maybe he doesn't feel that way about me, but I def think I'm getting mixed messages and that it's not all me reading too much into it.
Full-on denial. You're not going to get the answers you want here. I am sorry.
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) with that?", would have sufficed.
What do you think? Have you ever been in this position before, where a guy "liked" you that way but you didn't like him? How comfortable would you have felt literally telling him to get lost, if he told you he had feelings for you and you'd already slept together? Be honest. Plus, by the way, how is he leading you on? He's remaining friends with you which you claim to want and he is actively preventing any sex between the two of you. He even removed your hand when easy sex was right there, literally for the taking. How is that leading you on?
