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First off, I'm old enough to have loved a few. You sound like the one who I loved that got away.
I didn't mean to fall in love with her. She had a boyfriend and I had a wife. She was just hilarious to be around. We laughed constantly. We "got" each other. (We worked together for about 6 months -- I was doing full-time consulting where she worked as office manager.)
We never really became "romantically involved" because of our partners. We almost did once. She was clowning around, giggling, but getting physical at work one night. I stopped her because I could see where it was headed, and then we had our "chat". There was very strong mutual attraction, but I wasn't going to cheat on my wife, even though the marriage was about to end either way.
Maybe it was because we never got physical and both wanted to, but to me she was the sexiest person I've ever known, and that's saying quite a bit.
Farting is a different story. Gross. Girls "fluff".
You probably need to have a little chat with hubby.
Looks to me like this was a case of the things that attracted him to you in the first place are what are driving him nuts now that you've been married a while
Hey, it happens.
And no offense, but he sounds a bit like he's got one of those madonna/wh*re complexes, so maybe now that you ARE a mother he just can't accept you in any other kind of a role than that of mother, you know?
I would recommend you consider sitting down with a therapist together for a few sessions. The problem really seems to be all his, BUT his problems ARE your problems, sorry.
Thank you for pointing this out. I had to change some of my own post because I didn't know Jerz IS a mom.
I would say that before my daughter things were easy. I was able to please my husband easily, always be there looking like when we first met.
Then after my daughter I found that I needed help and he was slow to respond. I also believe that was when I got those feelings that he didn't like me for me.
Farting is a different story. Gross. Girls "fluff".
It was SO not my fault. And it was only once in 10 years...so he only needs to worry about it beginning again in the year...let me think. Oh, 2013. p.s. On a more serious note, what a sad story, I am sorry. It's hard when circumstances just won't...let you.
Thank you for pointing this out. I had to change some of my own post because I didn't know Jerz was a mom.
I would say that before my daughter things were easy. I was able to please my husband easily, always be there looking like when we first met.
Then after my daughter I found that I needed help and he was slow to respond. I also believe that was when I got those feelings that he didn't like me for me.
Improved communication got things going again.
We've talked about it. Occasionally, he says that now that he's 40 he's just slow on the draw, just not as horny in general, etc. when it comes to the actual sex part, though we do have sex (just nowhere near as often). But that's not even really the big issue with me. When I bring up that he doesn't seem to want to be my friend, to talk and laugh, etc. all he can say is that I'm imagining things. (To put it nicely.)
I'm not perfect either, BTW...I hope nobody is getting the impression that I think that I am! Just so's you all know.
Looks to me like this was a case of the things that attracted him to you in the first place are what are driving him nuts now that you've been married a while
Hey, it happens.
And no offense, but he sounds a bit like he's got one of those madonna/wh*re complexes, so maybe now that you ARE a mother he just can't accept you in any other kind of a role than that of mother, you know?
I would recommend you consider sitting down with a therapist together for a few sessions. The problem really seems to be all his, BUT his problems ARE your problems, sorry.
What do you guys think? Do you think a pretty girl who loves sex and loves to joke around and be a "buddy" is un-sexy?
The answer probably won't change much for my personality as it is what it is, but I am curious because I've been thinking about this all morning now, and it just feels like it fits entirely.
Sounds like you have a female version of one of my personalities
Just kidding. I only have one personality. But seriously, you sound like you'd be fun to be around, and "fun to be around" could definitely be sexy. It's just that there is a time and a place for everything, unfortunately he doesn't seem to get that you want to be a doofus when he wants you to be feminine and the "time and place" must not be meshing for him quite so well. have you talked to him about this at all? This could turn into one of those "serious" things if you don't try to do something about it now.
Jerz, I think you're putting a nice brave face on it, but you sound terribly sad.
Have you had a real conversation with him about this......
I wish you the best....
I thought the same thing.
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And it was only once in 10 years...so he only needs to worry about it beginning again in the year...let me think. Oh, 2013. p.s. On a more serious note, what a sad story, I am sorry. 
