Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
If you are more into your mate's looks, then I GUARANTEE you can find a more attractive woman in Asian or Russia or Central/South America. These are women coming from meager backgrounds and your 70K would look pretty good to them. Attractive American girls are very picky.
Hell, American women that aren't attractive are very picky. It's the entitlement attitude.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jobaba
On the other hand, if you are looking for compatibility, you'll probably do better here. I GUARANTEE you can meet a woman here if you play the numbers enough and lower your standards maybe.
Maybe he has lowered his standards but you can only lower so much until the cost outweighs the benefits. I do agree that he should also look here, but I would suggest him trying to link up with the new immigrants to this country. They haven't been indoctrinated yet. Kind of like what the Charolastra00 said in his post of the university students.
We are indeed very loyal and family oriented (most of us as in every culture there's a little of everything). You sound like many of my Latin friends, they feel that once we have lived in the US for a while we change. I don't think that's the case, I think we are more open to certain things and do not agree with others, and many Latino men see these as flaws. At least for me, I like American men more than Latino men because I am sick and tired of the macho type. Many of my Dominican girlfriends feel the same!
Where are you? Massachusetts is full of women like that. And it seems that we are ALL single, lol
That'll get you very far with Latinas. We appreciate a man who can move in and out of the dancing floor!
I'm better at moving off the dance floor.
DRGirl, we need to talk! My ex-wife is from Boston, but I promise I won't hold that against you, lol. Ever considered moving where its warmer, like Atlanta?
Similar as to why some women get a sperm donor. Tried the conventional way with no success. You can specify exactly what you require and minimise the games and guess work.
I would think the whole thing more similar to adopting children from overseas. Try the conventional way with no success. Dosent come natural for you or there is something about you that prevents you from adopting a child/having a relationship among those of your own culture so you order one from another culture, pay a lot of money, bring them home and sometimes it works out and sometimes its not what you ordered. Kind of makes one wonder what is wrong with the people or country that their own women and children arent acceptable to them and they pretty much "sell" them abroad.
Any way sounds like a match made in heaven. Good luck to the OP.
Currently, White farmers are being murdered in South Africa. Virtually all whites are trying to get out of that country, before the final genocide begins. I would imagine that an impoverished Afrikaner woman, whose looks would normally place her outside your league, would jump at the chance to marry an American who makes $70,000.00 a year. Vast numbers of white South Africans have been thrown out of work by that country's version of Affirmative Action. She can save her own life, and through 'family reunification' chain immigration, can save the lives of family members, by marrying you.
And she would be a viable, real, mate for you. Her culture will be similar to yours. Her 'naughty parts' will be more likely to fit yours (if you don't 'hurt her' down there, she will be far less likely to grow to hate you). If you have sons, they will be normal sized for Americans. So, you know, you can sire little Football heroes on her. The list is endless. And she will not be a Predatory Bride, who will set you up. Claiming spousal abuse is the quick way to divorce/permanent residence/green card. Happens with these mail order brides, all the time.
In our old town, there was a man who owned a software company based in Russia. Married a Russian woman, and brought her here. He went crazy, after an appointment with a Marriage Counselor. Standoff....guns....the works. He died of a bullet wound, inside his house, with swat teams and camera crews surrounding the house. My assumption is that his Bride was behind his breakdown. She won the grand-prize lottery, I guess. He's totally out of the way. She gets the company, his entire estate, the big house.... Most victims of Predatory Brides just spend a night or two in jail for 'Battery' (you know what can happen to you there...), and have their reputations destroyed and their finances wrecked.
I'm assuming you're Celtic/pink-skinned/overweight/average-equipped. (I also assume you're not a troll, pimping Thai Brides) You're probably a dream-come-true for a lot of women, just as you are. There are good, kindly, honest American women dreaming about somebody just like you. Guaranteed. Maybe you're just trying to date out of your league. Instead of going for someone whose body is too good for your body, date someone who is no more attractive than you are. More on that in a minute...
But before you do ANYTHING, why don't you just hire a Personal Trainer? My guess is you are suffering from Metabolic Syndrome, and need a year at the gym, before you write yourself off as hopelessly unattractive. A year of personal training will cost less than a trip to Thailand. And your Trainer may end up sleeping with you, or fixing you up with a friend. On your own, you should, over a year (usual health/see Doctor caveats apply) work up to an hour of Cardio a day, plus an hour of lifting per day. Let weekly yoga classes count for one Cardio Day. Flexibility is critical. And how's your diet? Instead of eating to lose weight, maybe focus on eating healthy. Here's my favorite site for that:WHFoods: The World's Healthiest Foods
Back to that attractiveness thing: I was hideous as a seventeen-year-old. But surely because of Divine Intervention, I met and teamed-up-with a boy just a painfully ugly as was I. First date, he accidentally brushed against me. I accidentally brushed back, a minute later, and felt 'something'. Well, from that moment on, that hideous boy was giving me that 'something' as many times a day as a seventeen-year-old can (many, many times...). Thing is, when you're pressed against someone, you can't see much of that person. Doesn't matter how they look, really. We probably had a better sex life than most of the Football Standout/Cheerleader couples on campus.
After decades of excercise/optimal nutrition/vitamin supplements (expensive clothes help, too), we're not ugly anymore. So, I'm still getting it twice-a-day, from that same guy. Only now, he's a hottie. And we're doing it in a 'modernist masterpiece' of a house, instead of a dorm room. But what's important is that we worked as a team. That's what's important in a mate: that you're a team, each dedicated to the other's well-being.
Last edited by GrandviewGloria; 12-27-2011 at 03:26 PM..
Nothing wrong with wanting to mary a foreign woman, but it's not necessary to go overseas to find one. I'm sure the town you're living in has ethnic clubs, restaurants, and community centers. Why don't you start frequenting those? I'm sure you'll find someone you like, with the same mentality as yours.
If Asian women are what you are after better off looking in somewhere like Tokyo, Singapore, Shanghai, Hong Kong, Putrajaya. Bangkok has high rates of prostitution and ex-prostitutes and slavery. Not exactly wife material.
Back to that attractiveness thing: I was hideous as a seventeen-year-old. But surely because of Divine Intervention, I met and teamed-up-with a boy just a painfully ugly as was I. First date, he accidentally brushed against me. I accidentally brushed back, a minute later, and felt 'something'. Well, from that moment on, that hideous boy was giving me that 'something' as many times a day as a seventeen-year-old can (many, many times...). Thing is, when you're pressed against someone, you can't see much of that person. Doesn't matter how they look, really. We probably had a better sex life than most of the Football Standout/Cheerleader couples on campus.
That is so funny! Hahahaha
I love it.
Quote:
After decades of excercise/optimal nutrition/vitamin supplements (expensive clothes help, too), we're not ugly anymore. So, I'm still getting it twice-a-day, from that same guy. Only now, he's a hottie. And we're doing it in a 'modernist masterpiece' of a house, instead of a dorm room. But what's important is that we worked as a team. That's what's important in a mate: that you're a team, each dedicated to the other's well-being.
Location: where you sip the tea of the breasts of the spinsters of Utica
8,297 posts, read 14,208,868 times
Reputation: 8105
Quote:
Originally Posted by charolastra00
NOTE: Blantent judgment following. I'm sure there are exceptions among the men who seek out mail-order brides, but the whole system is such that you have to be a certain type of man (one of whose company I would never seek) to go through with this sort of arrangement.
Frankly, if you're getting a mail-order bride, what right do you really have to be concerned about former prostitutes? You are hiring a live-in prostitute.
My 53 year old uncle married a mail order bride from the Philippines who is younger than me (I'm 23, for reference - we know she's younger but both are tight lipped about how old she actually is). The have a child together, but there's no love there. There's a whole heck of a lot of abuse among American men and the foreign women they marry because there is an expectation that the women be subservient. Many of the women, like my uncle's wife, are well educated and do not want to stay in the house cooking and cleaning. I took an entire class in college about the sociology of mail order brides when I found out what my uncle was looking for. Men too often are looking to buy a product, not marry a living, breathing being. As part of the class, I worked for a time in Boston for a nonprofit/women's shelter exclusively for international wives who were being abused (typically under threat of deportation and lack of access to their documents by their legal resident or citizen husbands). They weren't all mail-order brides of course, but the percentage considering how many mail-order brides are in this country was staggering. Obviously not every man who is in this sort of arrangement is an abuser, but the very language used to describe them: "submissive", "subservient to men", etc and the circumstances that drive a man to seek this out: fetish for Asian women, anger at American women, need to feel like they are in control, seeing their spouse as a commodity rather than a person - is incredibly foul, flawed, and misogynistic.
In my uncle's wife's family, there are 10 kids. 6 daughters. All the daughters are being groomed to be mail order brides. The 4 of them that are older than 20 are all married already. The youngest is the only one to refuse because she has seen how the careers and lives of her sisters have been stifled. The whole system is incredibly sad.
OP - I go on lots of first dates, fewer 2nd dates, and very few 3rd dates. That's how dating works. There are plenty of men who would have made fantastic partners who I simply didn't have chemistry with - even with spot-on looks, income, career path, cultural background, etc.
Frankly, if even 1% of the tone of your OP slipped into dating life, I probably wouldn't return a phone call either. And friend requesting? When you're just dating? Not a thing I would accept either (and probably would be put off by). Until I'm either in a serious relationship or have agreed to an otherwise polyamorous arrangement, I'm still dating other people. There's no way any of them are going to be my friend on Facebook when I'm not settled on one. You say that the goodbyes are awkward, but you go in for a kiss anyway. That would be a red flag to me too and I probably wouldn't call you back.
You've made the OP's point for him. American women are often incredibly hard to please, they have to do everything just right or the primadonna won't give him a second chance.
In this culture looks are more valuable than personal qualities or steady friendship. There are many other cultures where it's just not important to women to have a "hot" man, because they realize that there are other more important considerations. And yes, a good job and money are among THEIR desires, it sounds like prostitution but each side is getting their needs fulfilled, and after all marriage has historically been a sort of prostitution since the men were almost always the wage earners.
So it simply comes down to different cultural values between American and foreign women. American women want either a hot guy, a guy high on the social scale, or a guy who can play them like a violin with great confidence.
Foreign women just want a decent, comfortable life for themselves, and maybe send a little money home to help their relatives live better. Ugly dumpy looking guys with blah personalities do better with the latter.
There are lots of guys like that, but Americans tend to think they don't deserve to have wives.
^You know, I often get the feeling that men don't really care if a woman gets with him just for money. They just want to have a woman. It's not what I would suggest for men to do, but if men are okay with that, they can't at the same time go around calling women golddiggers and such.
DRGirl, we need to talk! My ex-wife is from Boston, but I promise I won't hold that against you, lol. Ever considered moving where its warmer, like Atlanta?
LOL. I am not from Boston so it's all good!
As a matter of fact, I have been lots of research. I want to move to the the South in 2012. Tired of the NE weather. First stop is in Charlotte, NC.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
My ex-wife is from Boston, but I promise I won't hold that against you, lol. Ever considered moving where its warmer, like Atlanta?