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Right now I do, yeah. I'm on a pretty restricted diet.
Anyway, so you're telling me you like all different kinds of meat, while all I eat is chicken. Chicken every day - except for the days I go vegetarian.
Well, how many ways can you prepare chicken? The variations and permutations are infinite. I can have chicken fried, grilled, broiled, stir-fried, chopped up in a salad. I can have it with Asian spices, or in an African peanut stew, or a l'orange. I could have chicken every day the rest of my life and never have it the same way twice.
That's how I see variety in sexuality. The possibilities are infinite - even though I'm doing it with one woman only.
Ok, since I've weighed in on why I don't agree with your lifestyle, tell me why you say monogamy is stupid and/or outdated.
Simply put, devoting your entire life to one person sexually just seems right boring.
Sure, the two of you get very compatible sexually, but how do you learn new tricks by staying with the same person? You need to go out, sample new goods, and get new ideas. You could learn things with others that you could never learn by staying monogamous.
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I don't want to belabor this, but I just can't understand that.
Just like I can't understand staying with one person sexually for the rest of your life.
But in a marriage, I don't see how a person could be willing to have the same casual sex as they might have with other people WHILE they are married to someone who is supposed to be at the center of their life in every way.
It is impossible to be at the center of someone's life in every way, and it is impossible for one person to fulfill every need and desire of another.
My wife is bisexual. I do not possess a vagina. She loves to shop just to shop. I shop to get, and then leave. I am a nerd and like talking about computers, electronics, and quantum physics. She tolerates that but only to a degree. We turn to other people to help fulfill those needs.
Yes and no. I don't own my wife or children, sure. But I do expect my wife to be faithful to me sexually, because I am faithful to her sexually.
What is the purpose of sexual faithfulness?
The root cause is twofold. Certainty about paternity, and fear of loss (of the relationship). Since swingers aren't generally trying to get pregnant, multiple forms of birth control are typical, so that's a nonissue. Successful swingers (as I've said repeatedly it's not for everyone) understand that sex is just sex and doesn't imply love or relationship.
Not everyone feels that way, and that's okay. But there's no sexual act you could perform, even if you were literally the most gifted humper in the history of humanity that's going to change the fact that when the party's over, my wife is going home with me.
What's puritanical about my views? I'm as nasty as the next dude - I LOVE SEX! - It's just the only person I get with is my wife.
I did not refer to your views. I referred to society one small bit is the notion of the inviolate nature of sexual fidelity as expressed by you and several others on this thread. The whole package of societal discomfort with sexual matters is detrimental the body as a whole, in my opinion. The notion that someone *bringing up the topic* as worthy of divorce papers as some have mentioned is really dysfunctional in my opinion.
So much nonsense and pain comes from sexual insecurity and fear. We stress to the max about our teenaged kids having sex. What is the Big DEAL? Sex is good. Animals have been doing it forever. And hey, neat we have the ability to minimize risk to ourselves with recent scientific and medical advances. Why not educate our children to risk instead of barraging them with NO YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE SEX. They know, instinctively, how dumb we are being.
Think about how much pain is brought on by cheating. Folk like us get lambasted for our evil ways. But the conservative estimate is that 60% of all marriages experience infidelity. Wives and husbands literally wrecked by the lack of faith and trustworthiness. These same people would hand their spouse the doorknob over a conversation. How is this loving? How is this intimate? Caring?
How much pain is brought on by the idea of sexual ownership. I would bet my left arm that there has been more than one post on this board by someone whose spouse withholds sex as a means of wielding power. The two of them having promised to own each other sexually have doomed that poor sod to this slavery.
Then their is the public nonsense of outrage at public figures sex lives. I cannot even begin to see how that impacts their ability to govern. If a politician is having an affair, then I hope his or her wife reams him or her hard for it. Or whatever they want to do. But do we really need to get out panties in a bunch on every single tv news cast about it? When we have social injustice that we are completely tuned out to? If is a report about sex, then man you bet it is important. The French just laugh at us. As well they should.
So that is what I meant, in the short version, by my comment about our puritanical society.
Sorry, but I don't think "marriage" and "open" belong in the same sentence or relationship. It seems to me that in that instance that the definition of marriage is corrupted to mean some sort of business arrangement but with the sexual/intimate part coming from other providers. As you said, it is merely an excuse to be promiscuous. It also adds a large element of risk when you expose one another to the sexual health of multiple other partners. If the partners are not ready to be totally exclusive then they should not marry. IMO...
Of note: My wife's other's birthday party this weekend. I'm making him polynesian meatballs and my famous pizza. While bringing my girlfriend, and my wife has already stating that he's getting "birthday sex".
Simply put, devoting your entire life to one person sexually just seems right boring.
How would you know if you have never experienced it? For me, nothing seems as pathetic and boring as hitting a bar every night and bringing home a stranger with whom to have sex, as many do. To each his own, but for those of us who have had multi-decade monogamous marriages, I assure you, there is nothing "boring" about sharing your life and your body with someone who loves, respects and adores you.
The second. There is nothing enlightened about having more than one sexual partner. I'd consider it primitive if anything.
I'd consider holding on to primitive ideals and forcing monogamy on others is more "primitive" than anything else.
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I'm on a pretty restricted diet.
