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Loving, successful couples would just cope and adjust their lifestyle - work through the difficulties.
Exactly. And I strongly presume those who say "take her to the vet and put her down" are either 16 years old and have the emotional maturity of a 16 year old. Psst...never get married!
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Actually I lost an elderly family friend a couple of weeks ago who the last time I saw was in a wheelchair when she had been able to walk previously. Her husband stood by her until the very end, which with the caliber of man that he is I didn't expect differently. I'd love to say I would be that loyal and that type of man.
This happen to myself and my husband. I caught a virus on our honeymoon that practically damaged a part of my brain that controls the central nervous system and within two weeks I wasn't even able to get out of bed (we had JUST turned 22 been together since we were 17) I had lost my job at the state attorneys office, I did nothing but practically live at hospitals and doctors. My husband was pushing 80 hours to support us..
Fast foward 8 years we are now almost 30... Im still sick, was able to hold very short jobs here and there but nothing solid, still going to doctors (under care of Mayo Clinic 8 hours from my house). My husband doesn't have to work 80 hours a week anymore but he never left me, never complained ONCE about what had to be done (god love him cause I spent many days in bed crying as to why i was so sick) I had/and still have such guilt over this happening ,esp literally right as we got married. I couldn't pay the bills, or help with anything. I thought my god I've ruined his life he'll never be able to buy a house without two incomes or a nice car he wants, go on vacations etc. BUT we had each other, that was a lot. There were some years in our early 20's where the best we could do for Christmas was a bottle of nail polish and shoe shiner. We made it work though.
I'm chronic but things are better now, his job is better we can make it just fine now on his income and I can be a stay at home mom and give my daughter all the things she needs, what more can one ask for. He makes it a point to say daily he loves me and that he loves his life and that he doesn't regret one min.. As he says "I made a vow for better or worse, sickness and in health I just wish you didn't have to endure the latter" . We have a pretty good life considering what has transpired and if you marry someone you take the punches and roll with em.
WOW, nothing like the voice of experience!
I am so sorry for all you have been thru
Thank goodness things are better for you now. I hope things continue to improve
Didn't want to hi-jack the other thread on disability...But, what would happen if suddenly thru no fault of anyone your SO was disabled? Not to the point that they can't walk/talk/everyday life...but, just enough that they are in pain when doing their job, and of course other activities as well, and has been for years, but the Doc said, "no more work."
Now you're the bread winner, no monie coming in on their part(takes awhile for Social security and Disability and retirement) to kick in...
Maybe their suffering guilt ridden days, along with the pain...what do you do? How would you handle the chores at home...juggle the bills, life in general?
Buy disability insurance if you are concerned with this.
You do what needs to be done, if you love them you help them and care for them. No 'ifs' or 'buts'. If you look at your healthy partner now and your not sure if you could do this then do them a favour, get out of their life now.
Exactly. And I strongly presume those who say "take her to the vet and put her down" are either 16 years old and have the emotional maturity of a 16 year old. Psst...never get married!
Too bad people can't be taken to the vet and put down for lacking a sense of humor huh?
This happen to myself and my husband. I caught a virus on our honeymoon that practically damaged a part of my brain that controls the central nervous system and within two weeks I wasn't even able to get out of bed (we had JUST turned 22 been together since we were 17) I had lost my job at the state attorneys office, I did nothing but practically live at hospitals and doctors. My husband was pushing 80 hours to support us..
Fast foward 8 years we are now almost 30... Im still sick, was able to hold very short jobs here and there but nothing solid, still going to doctors (under care of Mayo Clinic 8 hours from my house). My husband doesn't have to work 80 hours a week anymore but he never left me, never complained ONCE about what had to be done (god love him cause I spent many days in bed crying as to why i was so sick) I had/and still have such guilt over this happening ,esp literally right as we got married. I couldn't pay the bills, or help with anything. I thought my god I've ruined his life he'll never be able to buy a house without two incomes or a nice car he wants, go on vacations etc. BUT we had each other, that was a lot. There were some years in our early 20's where the best we could do for Christmas was a bottle of nail polish and shoe shiner. We made it work though.
I'm chronic but things are better now, his job is better we can make it just fine now on his income and I can be a stay at home mom and give my daughter all the things she needs, what more can one ask for. He makes it a point to say daily he loves me and that he loves his life and that he doesn't regret one min.. As he says "I made a vow for better or worse, sickness and in health I just wish you didn't have to endure the latter" . We have a pretty good life considering what has transpired and if you marry someone you take the punches and roll with em.
Amazing story. You got yourself a real keeper, a real man. I am so glad you shared your story...it made my day to know there are still great people like that. I hope your health continues to improve.
Well, my father became paralyzed during the course of his marriage to my mother. I'd do the same thing she did.
If my S.O. was disabled, I would pull my socks up, get to work and find a way to support us both. I'd tend to him whenever I could and find a way to make sure that he received day-to-day assistance when I couldn't be there.
"Love" isn't just hearts and flowers. Love is a verb — it's all of the actions that we do to let our precious others feel safe and secure. So love is often hard and even unpleasant, it's demanding and requires sacrifice. Sometimes the sacrifice is big.
It's supposed to be like that, and I wouldn't expect it to be otherwise.
Well, my father became paralyzed during the course of his marriage to my mother. I'd do the same thing she did.
If my S.O. was disabled, I would pull my socks up, get to work and find a way to support us both. I'd tend to him whenever I could and find a way to make sure that he received day-to-day assistance when I couldn't be there.
"Love" isn't just hearts and flowers. Love is a verb — it's all of the actions that we do to let our precious others feel safe and secure. So love is often hard and even unpleasant, it's demanding and requires sacrifice. Sometimes the sacrifice is big.
It's supposed to be like that, and I wouldn't expect it to be otherwise.
I actually have a friend who left his marriage because he realized over time he could not trust his wife to "be there" for him in the long run as he aged.
They had a pretty okay marriage, but he knew her well enough to know if he got some dread disease or condition that she would resent him for putting her in that position and either not care for him or just leave.
She was enraged when he wanted a divorce but he didn't feel he could stay married to someone he didn't trust.
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