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If you don't want a fat girlfriend, dont't date fat girls. My guess is you can't get the fit woman that you desire because they are in great demand. So you starting dating a big girl thinking you'd mold her into being the physical type ypu want. Chances are she will not lose weight for you. And let's be honest: even if she did, a higher quality man will come along and take her from you. Be careful what you wish for...
Well, if he truly loves and cares for her - I can see him trying to help her. There's nothing wrong with that.
I see how some feel it's wrong of him... But he needs to approach her in a sensitive/kind way..
OP, she is her own person though - She's going to do what she wants to do. If she wants to stay overweight, she's going to stay that way. You can't change her. She has to want to change herself. Remember that...
Yes she was. So clearly there's something else I like about her that keeps me around.
Then you need to shut up and accept her for who she is. If you can't do that, then do her the favor of letting her go so she can find someone slightly less assaholic to date.
Yes, I'm being blunt with you. Your posts on this thread are disgustingly rude, so I thought I'd reply in language you can understand.
Quote:
Originally Posted by OngletNYC
If you don't want a fat girlfriend, dont't date fat girls. My guess is you can't get the fit woman that you desire because they are in great demand. So you starting dating a big girl thinking you'd mold her into being the physical type ypu want. Chances are she will not lose weight for you. And let's be honest: even if she did, a higher quality man will come along and take her from you. Be careful what you wish for...
So I should accept her as obese? My ideal girlfriend is someone who has a healthy weight. So you're damn right I'm going to change her. She has an inherent medical problem.
I am a big fan of healthy nutrition and exercise, and when i look for a potential date/partner i take that into consideration. did your gf get fat or has she been fat at the time when you met her? its a world of difference.
If you don't want a fat girlfriend, dont't date fat girls. My guess is you can't get the fit woman that you desire because they are in great demand. So you starting dating a big girl thinking you'd mold her into being the physical type ypu want. Chances are she will not lose weight for you. And let's be honest: even if she did, a higher quality man will come along and take her from you. Be careful what you wish for...
What exactly makes you so high and mighty to assess the quality of other people?
I don't beleive he 'truly loves her and cares for her' that's why he wants her to lose weight, he is doing it b/c he wants a barbie -- well then go get a barbie. obviously this woman's not for him.
OP, she doesn't meet your standards, and may not feel the motivation to lose weight for her own benefit. That's her choice, and of course it's your choice to leave if nothing changes. I didn't read everything here, so don't know if she was already overweight when you started dating, or gained after. If she already was, then you can only blame yourself for dating her, and cannot expect her to change.
I've often noticed that the surest, most reliable and effective way to encourage someone to lose weight is to break up with them. It's almost certain they'll find the motivation to lose weight in order to attract someone new! Why they won't make efforts to stay healthy to KEEP a good relationship (assuming it is, otherwise), but will to find a new one, is one of those mysteries and absurdities of human behavior.
Why bash this guy for his concerns or opinion just because women are sensitive about the topic doesn't make it ok to bash someone. If he would like her to lose a few lbs so be it; women attempt to mold\iron out men often. Possibly his approach is off but passively addressing issues can not be the answer. OP is dealing with a adult not a child.
Why bash this guy for his concerns or opinion just because women are sensitive about the topic doesn't make it ok to bash someone. If he would like her to lose a few lbs so be it; women attempt to mold\iron out men often. Possibly his approach is off but passively addressing issues can not be the answer. OP is dealing with a adult not a child.
He's not being "bashed" for concern or opinion on the "sensitive" issue of weight. Posters are just merely pointing out that he made it clear from the get-go that he's doing it for himself and his standards, not for her. His tuned quickly changed upon negative reception.
He started dating an overweight woman (Note: She was already overweight when they started dating). He has "standards" and his ideal is not an "overweight woman". He now wants to mold her into his ideal image.
That's bad.
Add in the the "I should start snorting cocaine" and "I should start smoking" quips only shows that it's about him. She ought to get slim or else if he has to deal with an overweight woman, then she should have to deal with something she doesn't like.
And that's real bad.
Genuine concern for her well-being? That would be different.
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I don't beleive he 'truly loves her and cares for her' that's why he wants her to lose weight, he is doing it b/c he wants a barbie -- well then go get a barbie. obviously this woman's not for him.
