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Baby .... Bike... The choice is really a simple one....well, at least it should be.
If the OP's wife is pregnant and he's anguishing over whether he's going to get to ride his bike again, I'd say he has his priorities wrong. How about getting the baby born first and then deciding if you want to quit the wife and baby or the bike?
Also if this marriage doesn't make it do you really think you will be able to have the old party life? your financial responsibilities and time commitments will be even more as a weekend visitor father. That is if you want to be the great dad you say you want to be.
This is a drastic but very good point. How are you going to ride on saturdays if that is the only day you get to see your kid? What will you choose then? Compromise, empathy, understanding, and supporting each other is the way to go on this. Don't make it a deal breaker.
Need some opinions , wife is 6months pregnant and we are excited about the baby but is was unexpected and not really in our plans ? We have been married 6 yrs together 10 . Im a biker meaning my recreation of choice is riding my harley, we have always rode , partied, went to local biker gatherings and poker runs . No clubs or anything but ur getting the pic. Now she has changed , she gets mad if i ride anywhere except work , she doesnt want me riding with my buddies ( all married) i was informed im not allowed at biker events without her (she's made it clear she is done with them too) cant be in a bar even if its only for a poker run event , and has mentioned i should just sell my bike !!! I have rode a harley since i was 17 ? Whats going on ??? Im very helpfull and our home, and anything she needs , even spending time with her always comes 1st bike is 2nd so dont get wrong imperssion this is a couple saturdays a month kinda thing !!! What's everyones take on this ??
Welcome to parenthood.
There is a good chance that pregnancy hormones are making her nuts. It happens a lot with pregnant women.
The best thing to do is to avoid conflict for the time being until the baby is born. Most likely, after than happens she will be so consumed with taking care of the kid that she will forget about most of this. Keep in mind however, that she is going to want you to "help her with the baby", so this is an EXCELLENT negotiating tool on your behalf. Keep that in mind.
As someone who has ridden bikes all my life, I can honestly say I'd tell my wife to **** off if she wanted me to sell it. Doesn't matter what the reason is, kids, pregnancy, etc. I'm a guy who rides bikes, end of story. Don't get rid of your bike...you'll resent your wife until the day you die if you do. The rest of the stuff about not going to bars or whatever seems a little over the top, but she's also 6 months pregnant. You can cut her some slack there, most of it is probably hormonal overreaction on her part. Humor her until the baby comes, and after she realizes her life isn't over because you have children you can have a normal life once again.
Free bear - allthough all the comments have been appreciated , yours is really what i was hoping for another person who enjoys to rides perspective ! I hope your right about after the baby gets here ? Alot of these people assume alot when reading my conments but im not asking for anything that consumes all my time im not putting my bike before my family and im not trying to avoid responsability or maturity , i just simply dont see it reasonable to sell my harley and am scared that if her current train of thought stays for the long term that i've lost that person who i had so much in common with before the pregnancy ? Ur post shows that someone else out there is non negotionable unless absolutely nessassary on giving up his or her passions in life !! But also i hope your right about things getting back to somekind of normal ! Thx man!!
Free bear - allthough all the comments have been appreciated , yours is really what i was hoping for another person who enjoys to rides perspective ! I hope your right about after the baby gets here ? Alot of these people assume alot when reading my conments but im not asking for anything that consumes all my time im not putting my bike before my family and im not trying to avoid responsability or maturity , i just simply dont see it reasonable to sell my harley and am scared that if her current train of thought stays for the long term that i've lost that person who i had so much in common with before the pregnancy ? Ur post shows that someone else out there is non negotionable unless absolutely nessassary on giving up his or her passions in life !! But also i hope your right about things getting back to somekind of normal ! Thx man!!
I also know a guy who rides and raised 7 kids. Only one of them rides bikes but they are a big happy family and he is that old white haired hippy still on his bike. However this guy also serves as an elder at a church, travels for months out of the year, and runs and international organization and is constantly talking about how awesome his wife is and how he can't wait to get home to her. Sometimes focusing on making someone else happy is the best way to have a full happy life :-) She knows you, and if you put her first and give her lots of reassurance and support she will want you to be happy too.
Free bear - allthough all the comments have been appreciated , yours is really what i was hoping for another person who enjoys to rides perspective ! I hope your right about after the baby gets here ? Alot of these people assume alot when reading my conments but im not asking for anything that consumes all my time im not putting my bike before my family and im not trying to avoid responsability or maturity , i just simply dont see it reasonable to sell my harley and am scared that if her current train of thought stays for the long term that i've lost that person who i had so much in common with before the pregnancy ? Ur post shows that someone else out there is non negotionable unless absolutely nessassary on giving up his or her passions in life !! But also i hope your right about things getting back to somekind of normal ! Thx man!!
You are not getting what your wife is getting. That life is over. You will have a whole new normal after the baby is born and there will be very little bike riding and bars if any. Do you not get that a baby will drain your finances...that a baby takes time....that a baby will cut into your sleep...that if/when you ever do go to events you'll now be an infrequent attender and not a regular? Do you not get that changes everything?
Things will never get "back to normal". When the baby gets here you will redefine normal. If your new normal includes any of the things you did before, you'll be doing a lot less of them and that is true even if you leave. You'll be paying child support and you'll have a visitation schedule. There is no getting back to normal. That normal is gone. All you can do now is invent a new normal. Your wife has figured that out. You seem too stuck in adolescense to do that.
Do you, really, not get that your life is going to be work, bottles, diapers and sleepless nights for a long time to come? Sorry dude but riding a bike doesn't fit in there and won't for a long time to come.
One thing you are not considering is that you need to protect yourself now more than ever because she and the baby are relying on you. Sadly, I know two people who were killed in bike accidents just this year. Perhaps she's, simply, telling you she doesn't want you taking risks.
I've had several bikes. Last one was an Ultra Classic that I sold after having a flat at 70 MPH.
You are about to be a dad. When that little baby comes you'll be the proudest papa around. Ride your bike enough now to keep the itch under control but once that little Boy (or girl) steals your heart you'll understand what should be your priority.
You might hang on to the bike or you might not. Just don't take that little babies daddy away from him at an early age.
You'll always remember the day your 1st kid is born. It will be the best day of your life.
You'll know what to do and you'll be a responsible Dad.
Free bear - allthough all the comments have been appreciated , yours is really what i was hoping for another person who enjoys to rides perspective ! I hope your right about after the baby gets here ? Alot of these people assume alot when reading my conments but im not asking for anything that consumes all my time im not putting my bike before my family and im not trying to avoid responsability or maturity , i just simply dont see it reasonable to sell my harley and am scared that if her current train of thought stays for the long term that i've lost that person who i had so much in common with before the pregnancy ? Ur post shows that someone else out there is non negotionable unless absolutely nessassary on giving up his or her passions in life !! But also i hope your right about things getting back to somekind of normal ! Thx man!!
In other words, "Oh, goodie, someone said what I wanted to hear."
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