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You're wrong. Everyone did not basically settle. Removing yourself from the dating market is not settling. It's quite ludicrous of you to think your crazy view of relationships is something you can apply to others. Get real.
It is settling. When you've removed yourself from the dating market, you're basically announcing "I probably can't do any better at the moment (or ever) and this is who I've chosen for a relationship/marriage." There's nothing wrong with that if the person is a great match for you, but regardless of how you want to look at it, when you're no longer looking for someone even better, you're settling.
I'm not sure individuals start out believing they're settling, I really do believe people think they finally met the right one for them. And, then when the transformation starts, and change for the worse slowly takes over, the person then wishes they'd have run like hell. But, they're suddenly more comfortable then want to admit to.
I would say most people stay a lot longer than they should in a relationship ...
It is settling. When you've removed yourself from the dating market, you're basically announcing "I probably can't do any better at the moment and this is who I've chosen for a relationship." There's nothing wrong with that if the person is a great math for you, but when you're no longer looking for someone better, you're settling.
No, that's not what is said at all. What's said is that I'm going to do A, B, and, C with this person over here. Nobody else is included. You're attempting to include millions of strangers into a trip where they don't belong. That's nuts and it has nothing to do with marriage. As far as I'm concerned, for example, there is not a better man on this planet for me than my husband. I have never come across one in my life. Not saying it's impossible, but until the action happens how can you settle when you have the best for you that you have ever come across?
No, that's not what is said at all. What's said is that I'm going to do A, B, and, C with this person over here. Nobody else is included. You're attempting to include millions of strangers into a trip where they don't belong. That's nuts and it has nothing to do with marriage.
It's still settling. You're going to do A, B, and C with that person over there because that person was the best person you could find at that particular time and place. That person may be great for you, but there could be someone better than you haven't met yet. However, because you've locked in and have stopped looking for a mate, you've settled on that mate (as a result of believing this is the best you're going to do).
I'm not sure why you're upset because everyone settles when it comes to relationships. Unless one can prove that their spouse is literally the best match for them in the entire world, they've settled .
Just to clarify
Settling is staying with someone just to have someone around. Or staying with someone cause it's too hard to start over. Staying with someone who is treating you poorly is settling. Staying with someone you don't really actually even like all that much is settling. Staying with someone cause you've been with them so long so you are just used to it so you stay.
Alot of people fit at least one of those categories
Settling isn't "well he has black eyes and I prefer blue. Well no one is perfect!"
IMO the majority of people settle. You see it all the time. People just don't want to be alone, desperately want a Relationship and they will put up with crap just to be in one.
It's still settling. You're going to do A, B, and C with that person over there because that person was the best person you could find at that particular time and place. That person may be great, but there could be someone better than you haven't met yet. However, because you've locked in and have stopped looking for a mate, you've settled on that mate. ]
No, that's ridiculous. There are no would'ves and could'ves. There's only what there is, only what actually exists. Would've and could've is childish and irrational. It's not a part of any real picture. You want to insert fantasy into reality and it doesn't mean anything. It's pointless.
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I'm not sure why you're upset because everyone settles when it comes to relationships. Unless one can prove that their spouse is literally the best match for them in the entire world, they've settled.
It's not about being upset. It's one more irrational premise posited on CD that amazes me. A person could easily prove the best match because all available matches would be used as a comparison. Unavailable matches, matches that do not exist, would be not variables in the experiment.
Just to clarify
Settling is staying with someone just to have someone around. Or staying with someone cause it's too hard to start over. Staying with someone who is treating you poorly is settling. Staying with someone you don't really actually even like all that much is settling. Staying with someone cause you've been with them so long so you are just used to it so you stay.
Alot of people fit at least one of those categories
Settling isn't "well he has black eyes and I prefer blue. Well no one is perfect!"
IMO the majority of people settle. You see it all the time. People just don't want to be alone, desperately want a Relationship and they will put up with crap just to be in one.
If these people would rather be with anyone than be alone it's still not settling. It's a choice they're making.
No, that's ridiculous. There are no would'ves and could'ves. There's only what there is, only what actually exists. Would've and could've is childish and irrational. It's not a part of any real picture. You want to insert fantasy into reality and it doesn't mean anything. It's pointless.
But there's always would'ves and could'ves. For married people, perhaps they could've found someone even better had they kept looking for an additional 2-3 years. The bottom line is that they don't know if they would have or wouldn't have, but they do know that they took what was best available for them at the time....which is essentially settling.
I'm not married, but when and if I do get married, when the time is right, I'll attempt to find the best available woman for me at that time. She might be great, but the bottom line is that I might be passing up on something better; and I'd accept that fact.
Btw, why do you think they call it "settling down"? lol It's because one has selected one individual to have a relationship and has forgone the opportunity to find better.
If you told yourself that you're only going to have the best-looking man or woman, and one with money, and have a whole laundry list of perfect must-haves, then you're going to end up settling, because you're looking for someone who doesn't exist.
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