How do I find a clingy guy? (marry, cheat, husband)

[Inebriated Duck]

Alrighty then, my bad.

[ShellNic]

I met my guy while I was in college...through mutual friends. We started out as friends...and did everything together. Then we realized we really liked each other (I'm sure he knew before I did) and we have spent nearly everyday together since. Oh, we've been apart at times but it was torture. He's my best friend and I can't imagine having another kind of husband.

We know the word "clingy" brings up negative connotations but I know what you mean. We really do prefer the company of each other than anyone else so we hang out all the time. He has his interests and I have mine, but it's easy to fulfil our hobbies or whatever while being in the same home. We laugh all the time how he, I and the two kitties always seem to be in the same 4 foot square area...it just ends up happening....weird.

I have never thought of him as clingy...but he has a serious vested interest in my safety and he worries. I'm not saying we're the most perfect couple (oh so very far from it), but it really doesn't bother me that he'll check the bank account to see where I've posted my debit card so he can gauge when I'll get home. Before anyone says thats too much, he does it so he can make me a latte for when I walk in the door and he wants it to be hot. I'm spoiled is how I look at it.

We joke that other people wouldn't "get" us, but who cares? I certainly don't. I love knowing that cheating is simply not something we worry about. Like ever. There are so many other things to worry about so I thank God thats not one of them. Ellie, I believe you'll find your man...I don't know where to tell you to look but I truly believe you will find someone who thinks you hung the moon...and want to be around you all the time without exception.

[boolouwho]

OP, you are a pretty lady!

It sounds like you are dating ex frat dbags who are still hanging on to the good ole days.

Not wanting to date a divorced man with kids isn't all that unusual for your age, I think. There are people on this forum in their 40's who won't date a man who has kids, so don't feel bad. At least you're honest about it.

It sounds like you have some trust issues, and I can sort of understand what you are going through. When you find a mature and caring man, you'll realize that not all men are going to leave you in the middle of the night.

You're also young! I can understand the feeling of wanting to settle down right now, but a lot of women don't until they are in their 30's. Don't get discouraged, you are far from the only one your age looking for a good guy.

I almost envy you a bit. I settled down with my husband when I was 20, and now I'm 26 and getting divorced. I gave up school, a career, and 6 years of my 20's to be with a man who ended up being someone I wish I had never met. Enjoy yourself and be glad you haven't wasted your best years on a jerk.

Good luck in your search and stay positive. There are good guys out there, and I bet one is looking for a girl like you.

[Tintlelli]

Seriously to the OP, I agree with the previous posters' advice about taking advantage of your youth in a good way by taking your time and being really careful about prospective relationships. Loneliness, naivete, fear, influence and other feelings might lead you to fall for the losers who use you and then disappear. It has happened to (almost) all of us so don't beat yourself up over it. At least you're taking steps to look for the exact opposite of these losers! I don't think the kind of "clingy" guy you described is who you should seek, or is even who you want but I can understand the grass is greener. You do have the time to date one of those guys just to be sure that's who you don't want!

And on that thought, now for the half-serious part.

I have a clingy guy I'd like to send your way, for selfish reasons , to get him the hell away from me! Even though he lives in my town I'm sure he would be more than happy to run back to his home state for a pretty young girl who says she wants a guy just like him. And I might even be willing to drive him all the way there, if there's a chance he'll stay there.

Age and appearance must be as unimportant to you as they are important to him.

He's the kind of guy who will text a girl at four in the morning and then confront her later that day about why she didn't text back at that exact time. He's also been known to follow a girl to the bathroom and wait by the door until she comes out. He could very well be the epitome of "clingy."

[Philosophizer]

Take a guy's virginity. Make sure you actually like him though

[k9coach]

I agree with Philosophizer. Look for a guy with very few or better yet no previous relationships. Those are the ones that cling the hardest. Sometimes men with abandonment issues are also great clingers. So look for guys that maybe were raised by only one bio-parent. Good luck in your search and enjoy!

[Ruth4Truth]

Originally Posted by boolouwho

OP, you are a pretty lady!

How can you tell, with those big glasses covering her face?

I'm wondering what the OP's selection process is. Does she go out with whoever asks? (I knew a woman who did that. Needless to say, the vast majority of dates didn't work out.) Do you go out to coffee or lunch with them first, so you can get to know them a bit, first, and then decide which ones you want to continue seeing? What are your criteria? Where/how do you meet these guys? Maybe you should try some new kinds of venue.

[Prince_Frog]

She's pretty. Though I'd like to see the eyes.

[Chowhound]

I think I can understand what the OP is trying to say... I just think her "terminology" of "clingy" is what is putting people off.

[Thursday007]

Start a relationship with a prisoner -at least you know where he is every night and having a woman around once in awhile, he'll give you his undivided attention and lots of phone calls. He'll cling alright.


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