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Easy amigo. Not at all my intention to shirk responsibility if in fact it is mine. But you must agree, this situation sounds very fishy, no? Not at all trying to pretend I'm not responsible if she is in fact pregnant with my child. But I have a veeeeeery hard time believing anything she says given the situation.
I wasn't talking about you. I was talking in general.
Yeah, the situation does indeed sound fishy, hence my advice to contact an attorney versed in paternity law. But it is not out of the realm of possibility. I mean, if you have sex with a woman of childbearing age, there's always a chance for 22-year-long responsibility, no matter how many precautions you take.
This, plus the fact that the math re: her "pregnancy" doesn't quite work out. She already knew she was pregnant just two weeks after the act? That's unusual, unless she was scheduled to get her period the week after you saw her.
What I'm wondering is if this is a scam she pulls on guys routinely. Maybe she extorts abortion money from them, or something. The idea of offering to go to the doc with her is a good one. If she comes up with reasons why that wouldn't be convenient, you're outa there. If all else fails to get rid of her, the demand for a paternity test probably would.
btw, the part about the woman contacting you first for a night of casual sex was a red flag for me. Isn't that really rare for online dating sites, unless it's Craig's List? And CL has a reputation for being used by prostitution rings. What site were you using?
I found out I was pregnant exactly 15days after the act, but only because the smell of my beer at dinner (the night I found out) made me nauseous. Otherwise, I may not have known for a while, but yes, it's possible for her to know so soon.
Assuming its the truth, idk...still sounds fishy to me. She could definitely be lying to keep contact with you, or she could be telling the truth. I know 9 months is long time to wait, I'm sorry you're going through this OP, but in the meantime, even though she has not asked anything from you, I'd tag along anyways to her Dr's appointment to see if she really is pregnant. If it turns out she is, I'm gonna go with the other posters advice and suggest a DNA test as soon as that baby is born. If it ends up being yours, set up child support ASAP so that she doesn't come back years down the road asking for back-pay even though she said she did not want anything from you. The courts will not care. Or, you could always sign over your parental rights and terminate all contact from there. But like someone else mentioned, its not the baby's fault....
did she lie? maybe.. is she telling the truth? maybe... some people think any attention is good attention and unfortunately, this may be the case. if u used the condoms properly, then its highly unlikely that she is pregnant from u.. but then again there are cases where condoms have been known to fail. these cases are highly unlikely as well.
my advice is next time you are with a girl and you are using a condom, after sex take off the condom and fill it up with water to see if there are any microscopic holes.. that way if she tells you she is pregnant, u can have more of a peace of mind in the fact that the condom was used correctly and that it wasnt damaged.
until then, i think you should hold your ground and not give her the attention she is seeking from you.. especially since u said she is unstable. if she in fact is pregnant, a dna test will be able to tell you if u biologically fathered this child.
Times like this I'm glad I'm a happily married guy. But if MrsCPG were hit by a bus tomorrow and I could stand to date again, I don't think I could just basically look someone up on the Internet and have her deliver herself to my door, as if I'd ordered out for kung pau chicken. Waaaaay too many things that could go wrong with that scenario.
Also, we were together on 1/10, and her alleged period was supposed to happen around 1/22. So when she told me this Tuesday (1/29) it would have been 19 days after we were together, which is enough time for her to get accurate results, correct?
She's only had a home test done, so the next step is to have a doc office test confirm or deny. Has she said anything about how she plans to handle the pregnancy?
my advice is next time you are with a girl and you are using a condom, after sex take off the condom and fill it up with water to see if there are any microscopic holes.. that way if she tells you she is pregnant, u can have more of a peace of mind in the fact that the condom was used correctly and that it wasnt damaged.
Hopefully the OP checks each condom before he uses it, to see if there are any holes or weak spots, as well.
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Deal with her frankly. You need to make it black or white, Thee cannot be any grey in your interactions and intentions.
Tell her you want to test to make sure the kids is yours, and if it is you will marry her. If she's as crazy as you're trying to play off to us, she'll want to get the test regardless of the truth in the hopes of having a sex slave hubby. GL! Of course the marriage proposal is a lie!
If the kid is yours ( and you don't want it) and you support abortion while she's on the fence, bribe her to get the abortion. Money talks when crazy walks.
if the kid is yours and she refuses to get an abortion, take responsibility and don't be a dead beat no good piece of **** abandoning paternity father.
I joined an online dating service out of curiosity a month ago. First time ever. Not long after I joined I was contacted by a woman suggesting we get together for a night of casual sex. I was a little apprehensive because she seemed way too comfortable with the idea of meeting a complete stranger for such a night. But I decided to go for it in the end. She came over, we spent the night together, and had sex three times, with a condom every time. After that I felt unhappy with the decision and regretted it. I decided I didn't want to do something like that again because it made me feel cheap and slutty. So when she started to text me asking when we could do it again, I told her I didn't think it was a good idea and that it would be best for us to go our separate ways. I didn't feel that I owed her anything because she contacted me in the first place and I was very clear from the start that I didn't want a relationship of any kind. But she kept texting me like every day, multiple times a day, trying to pressure me into meeting her again. I held my ground and said I didn't want to, and I was very polite about it. The texts just kept coming and eventually I got a little more stern in my response, making it very clear I don't want anything else from her. Period.
Then, no texts for a week. I thought it had all blown over. Then I got a text from her three days ago saying that she missed her period, and asking if I wore a condom. I said yes, I was very careful and that if she's worried to buy a preg test. She allegedly then took two tests and texted to say they were both positive. Ahhh!!! I said it was probably someone else's since I was so careful and I assume she's been with other people since she was so quick to come to my (a stranger's) house for sex. But she says she was not with anyone else in the month--only me. I don't think I believe that. I don't trust her at all.
My mind keeps reeling through possibilities, like maybe she was already pregnant, and looking for someone to put it on. Or maybe she's lying about being pregnant to get back at me for not wanting to continue our discrete relationship. The last thing I want is a kid with this woman because she strikes me as a little crazy and unstable. Do you think she could be lying to me? Messing with my head? Would a woman do that? I guess if she says she's pregnant and it's mine I could ask for a Dr. letter proving it and stating the predicted date of conception. She doesn't want an abortion, so if she carried it though I'd have to wait and get a paternity test.
What do you think? Would a woman be capable of lying about something like this to manipulate or torment me? What would you do if you were in my shoes? Please provide feedback, I'm a little panicked here.
Thanks so much in advance.
People lie. Women are people. Either she is not pregnant, was already pregnant, or will be pregnant assuming you fall for her ruse and start having sex with her again but this time without protection (after all she is already pregnant - not!). If I were in your shoes, I would stay away from her, if she does give birth to a baby in a reasonable time after you had been together take her to court to get a paternity test (assuming she refuses to let you have one). Do not sign any birth certificate until you know for sure. Do not give her any money. Keep copies of your correspondence just in case she tries some other way to extort from you.
All you can do is get a DNA test to establish paternity if she is in fact with child. If so understand that your life is not going to be the same if she is pregnant and has a child. The poster above is right about keeping correspondance and esp keeping a cool head.
Hopefully she's just pulling your leg and this is just a lesson learned. Many people conceive after a one time encounter. Its more common then we realize. Sex can have consequences that change ones life. Get to know women you sleep with from now on. Have at least some kind of relationship. Good luck Don and keep us posted.
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