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I don't know about women, but i think the main reason so many men are so hung up on looks is they assume the better looking a woman is, the better the sex with her is going to be.
This is FALSE.
What someone looks like from a distance tells you almost nothing about what it may be like to interact with them on an intimate level. Almost nothing. Plenty of average-looking people can totally rock your world if you give them half a chance. Plenty of beautiful people are just plain boring in bed, treating sex like a chore or using it like a bargaining chip.
Just something to think about...
I dont think it has anything to do about finding the next best looking guy in the crowd. I don't think most people mind their dates or future spouses isare average looking according to the general standard. It is about chemistry.
I've fallen head over heel in love with a man according everybody I know - average looking at best. But to ME, he's like a perfect 10. I am very physically attracted to him. But this gentleman I met recently, he might be average looking, but he doesn't do anything for me.
So I am inclined to agree with others who say you gonna have physical attraction. Physical attraction is not a learned behavior.
I dont think it has anything to do about finding the next best looking guy in the crowd. I don't think most people mind their dates or future spouses isare average looking according to the general standard. It is about chemistry.
I've fallen head over heel in love with a man according everybody I know - average looking at best. But to ME, he's like a perfect 10. I am very physically attracted to him. But this gentleman I met recently, he might be average looking, but he doesn't do anything for me.
So I am inclined to agree with others who say you gonna have physical attraction. Physical attraction is not a learned behavior.
I really have no idea what "chemistry" even means. People throw the word around like crazy, but no one ever bothers to define it.
As far as physical attraction goes, some aspects of what we find physically probably are learned, albeit at a subconsciousness level. It is hard to know. There error people make is that if they feel something very strongly, and if they don't remember bring taught it, they assume it must be innate. That's not clear at all.
I really have no idea what "chemistry" even means. People throw the word around like crazy, but no one ever bothers to define it.
As far as physical attraction goes, some aspects of what we find physically probably are learned, albeit at a subconsciousness level. It is hard to know. There error people make is that if they feel something very strongly, and if they don't remember bring taught it, they assume it must be innate. That's not clear at all.
Nobody bother to define it because it is almost impossible to define. It is hard to describe it. Just like how do you know you are actually in "love", many people can also say that is just an useless word.
To me, if you don't have any physical attraction toward the person, it is impossible to pursue anything further. I have a perfect example for you. I have known this guy for at least 8 years, he was everything a decent woman looking for, he is hard working, own his own house, he makes pretty good income, he is never married with no kids, he is a nice person. But...
When he talks on the phone, he makes this really weird noice when he laughs, he has the worst hairdo always, he is not fat, but he let himself go. Call me shallow, but I cannot picture myself being in bed with him whatsoever. I knew him for 8 years, and I cnanot "learn" to find him to be physically attractive.
People on this thread have said many times, "I cannot pass the lack of physical attraction." It really is not about being shallow, I am inclined to believe it is the chemistry that is lacking. Whatever chemistry means.
I know this won't be a popular comment but sometimes we as women will over look a guy's level of attractiveness IF he can provide a nice lifestyle based on his financial prowess.
Happens ALL of the time. How do you think that physically unattractive, fat men can have beautiful wives/girlfriends? Its not their attractive looks but their attractive wallets.
ETA: some will call this (women chosing men based on his bank account as) "gold digging" yet will have no problem with men only wanting "hot" women.
Hallelujah.
Mad props for this honest post. You know, there would be less 30 page threads and confusion between the sexes if women admitted what you have. I find it tedious that women have to point out that they are the exception. All that does is frustrate guys and make them wonder where all of these "exceptions" are. Hint: that's why they are called "exceptions".
Here comes the "yeah but guys do (insert word here).
So?
So what? In other news water is wet.
10's and 9's hook up with each other because they can. For everybody else, if he's got the cash and she's got the a$$, it's a go. Look back on our history. Marriage was never about love. It was about survival. People can argue what the "true" divorce rate is but that is just so much mental masturbation.
Anyone with 2 working brain cells can plainly deduce that the divorce rate is way up since the inception of no fault divorce.
So much for true love and soul mate eh? The quicker we put that bullsh*t to rest the better off we will be.
Now if you'll excuse me I have to get back to finishing my romance novel.
Mad props for this honest post. You know, there would be less 30 page threads and confusion between the sexes if women admitted what you have. I find it tedious that women have to point out that they are the exception. All that does is frustrate guys and make them wonder where all of these "exceptions" are. Hint: that's why they are called "exceptions".
Here comes the "yeah but guys do (insert word here).
So?
So what? In other news water is wet.
10's and 9's hook up with each other because they can. For everybody else, if he's got the cash and she's got the a$$, it's a go. Look back on our history. Marriage was never about love. It was about survival. People can argue what the "true" divorce rate is but that is just so much mental masturbation. Anyone with 2 working brain cells can plainly deduce that the divorce rate is way up since the inception of no fault divorce.
So much for true love and soul mate eh? The quicker we put that bullsh*t to rest the better off we will be.
Now if you'll excuse me I have to get back to finishing my romance novel.
well if 10s and 9s hook up with each other all the time, then you next argument "fat men got the cash beautiful women got the ass, it is a go" will be invalid.
Problem is that
women always look for the alpha male to be their ideal mate Meaning
a man got the cash, got the look, got the personality, never married, no kids, nice guy, faithful and all that crap. Reality is that this kind of man is extremely hard to find
men always look for the alpha female, meaning
a woman who is faithful, loyal, will stick to their man through everything, beautiful, sexual, great cook, have a job, decent education, etc, etc, etc. This kind of woman is hard to find in the real world too.
So fat old man with cash settle for a gold digger
beautiful gold digger settle for a fat old man
They didnt get what they want, they all SETTLED.
NO ONE WINS WHEN THERE ARE DISHONESTY IN THE RELATIONSHIP
It's just that some women are more honest than others. Also, if women are so much "deeper" than men cough *bullsh*t* cough, how come they are so quick to judge guys who are lacking in the personality department. Instead, if a guy doesn't "wow" you right off the bat you it's on to the next one.
To the guys here:
Give credit to the women in this thread and forum who are being honest. They are doing you a huge favor. If Mick Jagger was a cab driver he would still be a virgin. If you insist on falling for the "love grows over time" fertilzer that's a YOU problem. Not a woman problem. It's our version of the women who fall for bad boys and liars. That's a woman problem. Not a bad boys and liars problem.
well if 10s and 9s hook up with each other all the time, then you next argument "fat men got the cash beautiful women got the ass, it is a go" will be invalid.
Problem is that
women always look for the alpha male to be their ideal mate Meaning
a man got the cash, got the look, got the personality, never married, no kids, nice guy, faithful and all that crap. Reality is that this kind of man is extremely hard to find
men always look for the alpha female, meaning
a woman who is faithful, loyal, will stick to their man through everything, beautiful, sexual, great cook, have a job, decent education, etc, etc, etc. This kind of woman is hard to find in the real world too.
So fat old man with cash settle for a gold digger
beautiful gold digger settle for a fat old man
They didnt get what they want, they all SETTLED.
NO ONE WINS WHEN THERE ARE DISHONESTY IN THE RELATIONSHIP
Mix in some reading comprehension.
My post states 10's and 9's hook up with each other because they can.
Okay, so I met up with a gentleman for a casual date today. I met him on match.com. The date is okay, it last about 1 hour.
Well,. I know I am going to receive a lot of harsh critisms, but oh what the hell. The problem is that I don't find him to be physically attractive.
First of all, I am about 2 inches taller than him. Secondly, he has slight bad breath.
My question is that have you dated somebody you are not physically attracted to? Do you normally give them second chance? Can you learn to love them in the future?
Let me know your thoughts please.
You are not attracted to him physically why waste his time and lead him to believe something that is not real and why in the hades would you feel the need to post the question on a public forum? If you cannot make up your own mind you are not mature enough to be dating let alone on a dating site.
It's just that some women are more honest than others. Also, if women are so much "deeper" than men cough *bullsh*t* cough, how come they are so quick to judge guys who are lacking in the personality department. Instead, if a guy doesn't "wow" you right off the bat you it's on to the next one.
To the guys here:
Give credit to the women in this thread and forum who are being honest. They are doing you a huge favor. If Mick Jagger was a cab driver he would still be a virgin. If you insist on falling for the "love grows over time" fertilzer that's a YOU problem. Not a woman problem. It's our version of the women who fall for bad boys and liars. That's a woman problem. Not a bad boys and liars problem.
AMEN! NOW THIS IS THE UNIVERSAL TRUTH
I notice that only the ugly men and women want to believe the notion "love is not about physical attraction."
It is kind of sad to believe this. don't get me wrong, LOVE Is definitely not about physical attraction, but physical attraction has to be there.
How can you make love to somebody you find to be ugly?
My post states 10's and 9's hook up with each other because they can.
Show me where it stated " all the time".
fine I misquoted ya!
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