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Location: Life here is not an Apollo Mission. Everyone calm down.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MainStreet
Glad you liked my idea. I found a poem that spoke exactly how I felt. ("Yes, I know a soul can be partitioned like a country..." -Rich) You could even use song lyrics.
If I get ambitious today, I'll add a picture.
The "Brian and I Broke Up" vase/pitcher 2002
We redefined our relationship and remain "friends for the ages." (his words)
We have a pact, that if neither of us marry, you'll probably find us both in the woods of northern Michigan 20 years from now, dancing amoung hundreds of books.
Paint your bedroom - buy new sheets - anything to change things up - you did say you moved things around. Try new things that you never did before - just to be in a space that doesn't remind you of him.
don't cut or color your hair, get tatoos or piercings - those things never work out at this time in your life!!!
Location: Life here is not an Apollo Mission. Everyone calm down.
1,065 posts, read 4,537,752 times
Reputation: 999
Quote:
Originally Posted by I love the Bears
Paint your bedroom - buy new sheets - anything to change things up - you did say you moved things around. Try new things that you never did before - just to be in a space that doesn't remind you of him. don't cut or color your hair, get tatoos or piercings - those things never work out at this time in your life!!!
This last bit is very good advise. I cut my hair after a heartbreak. Ended up being a good thing, but you never know.
An acquaintance was kicked out of the house by his wife. That very day he had a HUGE tattoo of her face tattooed on his arm. The size of a paper plate...her teeth looked like skeleton teeth...it was creepy. It basically sealed the deal that he was nuts and she didn't take him back.
Just a note to the women out there: Takes a long time to recover from a breakup. It's important to take time getting into a relationship. Make sure the person is able to commit before you get involved physically with them. You don't want to find out afterwards.
i didn't read all of the posts, but what i did was that i focused on the negative things in the relationship and thought about how much of a jerk he was.....it pretty much made me get over it like 8 months later but it happened....but don't be suprised when they come crawling back to you . that's when they realized they made a mistake...just hope you are over it by then and if not maybe its meant to be if you give them another chance,......they break your heart the first time, shame on them, but the second time is shame on you.....'
just giving you a possibility that has happened to me
When I went through my last breakup, I did the "Body for Life" program (it's a book written by Bill Phillips). It involves some serious changes to your eating, so it might not be the best combination with trying to get out and about with your friends. However, you might take a look at the exercise portion of it. It's very intense - 6 days a week of working out (3 days cardio, 3 days weights) but I can promise if you do it your body will feel amazing. It might just help with the emotional parts too.
For the breakup before that that hurt much worse, I did everything wrong. One of the things i did most wrong was allow this guy to still be in my life as 'friends'. It would have been much much much healthier for me to not be in touch with him at all - at least for some months after he dumped me.
We redefined our relationship and remain "friends for the ages." (his words)
We have a pact, that if neither of us marry, you'll probably find us both in the woods of northern Michigan 20 years from now, dancing amoung hundreds of books.
That's awesome! It's so cool that you can look at that as an accomplishment and something to be proud of, helping you through the tough time, rather than as a symbol of the bad feelings you had at the time. I want to put some new art on my bedroom wall. Maybe instead of hitting up the cheapo galleries for a readymade piece I can get creative. While I'm no artist, I imagine I could make something that would look nice hanging on the wall. Hmmm. If it's rainy next weekend that would be the perfect thing to start on!
When I went through my last breakup, I did the "Body for Life" program (it's a book written by Bill Phillips). It involves some serious changes to your eating, so it might not be the best combination with trying to get out and about with your friends. However, you might take a look at the exercise portion of it. It's very intense - 6 days a week of working out (3 days cardio, 3 days weights) but I can promise if you do it your body will feel amazing. It might just help with the emotional parts too.
For the breakup before that that hurt much worse, I did everything wrong. One of the things i did most wrong was allow this guy to still be in my life as 'friends'. It would have been much much much healthier for me to not be in touch with him at all - at least for some months after he dumped me.
Oooh I like the sound of that program. I go to the gym every evening after work (although so far I've had conflicts one night each week, so it works out to 4 nights a week). I take spinning classes here and there, lift weights, hit the treadmill. Maybe a more programmed routine would be helpful.
I feel I've made enormous amounts of progress since the day I started this thread (which was toward the end of a 2-week period of crying, asking why, and beating myself up). I'm getting used to the idea that we're not "together" and I think I'll be ok with that. I want to be friends because I feel we're still important people for one another. We talk on the phone sometimes, and have seen each other a few times, in group settings. The whole break up was civil. There were no fights, no screaming, threats, etc. So I'm hopeful that in the long run we'll be OK with being friends and all of the "stuff" will stay behind us.
P.S. I'm sounding much more optimistic than I have been lately. If I post again tonight my attitude could be entirely different! lol
Location: Life here is not an Apollo Mission. Everyone calm down.
1,065 posts, read 4,537,752 times
Reputation: 999
Quote:
Originally Posted by lammius
Oooh I like the sound of that program. I go to the gym every evening after work (although so far I've had conflicts one night each week, so it works out to 4 nights a week). I take spinning classes here and there, lift weights, hit the treadmill. Maybe a more programmed routine would be helpful.
I feel I've made enormous amounts of progress since the day I started this thread (which was toward the end of a 2-week period of crying, asking why, and beating myself up). I'm getting used to the idea that we're not "together" and I think I'll be ok with that. I want to be friends because I feel we're still important people for one another. We talk on the phone sometimes, and have seen each other a few times, in group settings. The whole break up was civil. There were no fights, no screaming, threats, etc. So I'm hopeful that in the long run we'll be OK with being friends and all of the "stuff" will stay behind us.
P.S. I'm sounding much more optimistic than I have been lately. If I post again tonight my attitude could be entirely different! lol
That is exactly what happened with Brian. Do you remember the Friends episode where Chandler and Monica have a disagreement and Chandler thinks it's over because he doesn't know he can "fix" it. He'd never been in a relationship with anyone where they actually made up. You just sort of putter out.
Friends work. It is possible. Glad you are having better days.
im actually going through what your going through right now. its torture, unbareable. I apprecaite what these people are advising you to do but in my case these things arent working at all. anything i do has a huge cloud over it, someone could hand me a million dollers and it still wouldnt change how im feeling. the missery is horrible and i personally dont believe in wollowing in self grief and i do try to get out and do things but i find myself bursting into tears at the slightest pinch. its the total change of circumstances, not just the loss of the love of my life. i find myself driving the long way home to go through his area to feel some sence of familiarity. its so true that when a heart breaks it never breaks even. he broke up with me after 3 years of planning a future together and im devastated. i no he is fine, im certainly not. i really truely feel for u cos i wouldnt wish this on my worst enemy. i would love to meet someone like u who is going through this just to talk, my friends dont understand and are sick of listening to me. whe it gets to the point of not being able to concentrate thats usually a sign of reactive depression, something im going through. im considering going through a short course of mild antidepressants to get through the hard part as im in my final year of college and dont want it to get so bad that i turn to drink or drugs. maybe talk to ur doctor. all i can say is my heart goes out to u. ur not the only one.
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