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It's an update. I specifically stated that in the original post...
I've posted almost everything about our problems from the past 2 years or so. This board (and talkaboutmarriage) has been great and generally helpful.
I generally update this board (and the people that have helped..) about things, as I find out about them. That goes for this, as well as other stuff I post..
Kind of killing the desire to keep y'all updated though........
Here is the thing. Believe it or not, most people do care and appreciate you taking the time to express yourselves. Its about helping each other out. There is a reason why you are updating. There is a reason why one posts pictures on facebook. There is an audience. If were were to all say, good luck and thank you for the update, you would then wonder if anyone has anything to say or to advise.
Some come across more intense and foward than others but its only because many are speaking with experience. Its your first go around and you need support. You can't update and expect your audience to just standby and watch you lead a path that will ultimately be detrimental to both you, her, and your potential partner.
I would want to kill the bish if we went separate ways and the. tell me she wants to be back in my life , and try to play out she is pregnant by me when it was some other dude evil seed Uggg I feel so disgusted
My ex-wife texted me earlier today - she's 5 weeks pregnant! It's her new BF's, a younger guy (early 20s), who actually sounds like a great guy. I know he was working 2 jobs and trying to save for a house..I guess it's going towards the pregnancy now, baby and my ex-wife.
The part I feel bad about, is just last week she was apologizing, asking for a second chance, saying we're soul mates and that what she did (cheat) is not who she is. I told her no.
Partly feeling sad, happy for her, and like I'm missing out on something...
Anyway, just an update..
She must have been concerned the new dad wouldn't be able to support the kid and/or her. It smells of the essense of set-up.
Consider this when you feel nostalgic: you could have been the one raising the kid with her and all the while she would have kept banging the other guy.
I don't talk to her, don't think of her, don't interact with her. I'm seeing a few other women, actively trying to pursue a relationship with one of them, and have been enjoying life as is.
We just became facebook friends again about a month ago (removed since July of last year), she'll send me a "how are you?" text every few weeks - I simply say how I am at that moment and that's the end of it.
She sent the stuff about wanting to get back together 2 weeks ago or so, I just said no and left it at that.
I think people on here are more upset and emotional than I am? And I find that odd...
We didn't officially get divorced until October, but separated and took our rings off in July.
Sounds like the 20-year old doesn't make enough to support the baby. Sounds like she needs Mr. Moneybags back in her life.
I always envisioned having kids with her, because I was married to her for 5 years, and together for 10.
That's kind of what happens (having kids together) in serious, long term relationships, and what's expected....
Good grief people..
Do you like the idea of getting stuck supporting someone else's seed? As a male, nothing would be more repulsive or degrading to me - especially under the circumstances you described.
People are giving you a dose of honesty and tough love because you don't sound like you're thinking through this rationally.
I always envisioned having kids with her, because I was married to her for 5 years, and together for 10.
That's kind of what happens (having kids together) in serious, long term relationships, and what's expected....
Good grief people..
I understand that a lot of the responses can come off as emotionally charged. But I do feel as though you're still emotionally attached to her in ways you aren't quite aware of. :/ You took your rings off, you did the divorce, you separated, etc, but you're still corded, if that makes sense. Yes, this is just an update but there's something about the tone in your writing that comes off as attached.
You're in a really good position in that you two didn't have kids and she's in a relationship with someone else so it's kind of like you were given the opportunity to have a clean slate. I agree with the others: no Facebook, no phone, no text, no nothing. Yes, you still care, yes you wanted kids with her, but that didn't happen. continuing to talk about her in this way only serves to fuel the cord. I don't know if you realize that or not but even if she is pregnant, it's just something to accept and move on.
Did you miss in the OP where I state - "Anyway, just an update" ?
Yeah, it's an update primarily about what's going on in her life, not yours. Why would you think any of us care if she's pregnant? Nobody here is invested in her life -- but you still are. You're still wrapped up enough in what's going on hers that you can't seem to separate it from what's going on in yours when supplying your C-D acquaintances with "updates."
I'm sure you'll come back with some strained and unconvincing response about how I'm wrong and you really are over her, but nobody's buying it but you.
CUT. THE. CORD. Completely.
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