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This is the typical, why do "nice" guys fail? The general answer is that "nice" guys typically show a lack of confidence (whether they realize it or not). They constantly question everything they do, they don't "take charge" and are always looking for reassurance from the people around them.
Nor are nice guys decisive; be a leader, know what you want and make a decision instead of pining over it for 5 minutes. And if you don't know the best decision after 10 seconds of thought, pick one. If it's the wrong one, tough, you'll have learned for next time. But in the mean time, you at least made a decision and committed to it.
Nice guys also typically don't take initiative either. They always wait for the "perfect" opportunity, when there is really no such thing. Opportunities rarely occur on their own, you have to make them happen.
Real life decisions aren't made in 10 seconds.. thats a crapshoot... I would have to say that the best decisions I've ever made were with a hike in the woods...
Location: Jonquil City (aka Smyrna) Georgia- by Atlanta
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You are trying to look at this from a reason of LOGIC which is something men have that women don't. Men, being the LOGICAL beings we are look at to like this: "I am single and look OK and I am nice, have a job and cannot find a decent mate while men who are in prison get dozens of "fan letters" a week from women" and we wonder LOGICALLY why women are attracted to prisoners, abusers, users ect. But you have to consider that God did not make women as LOGICAL beings. Women do not think or reason logically as men do. They think EMOTIONALLY. In other words men think with their heads, women think with their hearts. And they tend to be attracted to that type of man because they think they can "help" him or "polish" him to be what they want him to be. They see it as an adventure and a challenge.
What about women being more attracted to bad boys, wanting to marry them and change them for the better? Nice guys are perceived as being less exciting than bad boys, so the (foolish) women aren't as attracted to them. Nice guys aren't as aggressive about dating either.
My current boyfriend is a really nice guy and I love him very much. When I met him, he didn't have a girlfriend, but he wasn't looking for one either.
Well said. I always wonder why women like "bad" boys or men who are not good for them, in general. I think there is a myriad of reasons; the quest to change someone, they find these types of men exciting, they lack self respect, they had a bad father image or lack of one, their own mothers chose the wrong men for them and didn't lead by example, they're "bad" girls and like to hang out with "bad" men, they perceive "bad" boys as being more masculine, they like the challenge that many bad boys provide them with, they like to feel protected and feel that "bad" boys will protect them.
i think its fine for woman to like bad boys. i dont think its fine for them to come crying to everyone when they cant figure out whythey got their teeth knocked out though.
You are trying to look at this from a reason of LOGIC which is something men have that women don't. Men, being the LOGICAL beings we are look at to like this: "I am single and look OK and I am nice, have a job and cannot find a decent mate while men who are in prison get dozens of "fan letters" a week from women" and we wonder LOGICALLY why women are attracted to prisoners, abusers, users ect. But you have to consider that God did not make women as LOGICAL beings. Women do not think or reason logically as men do. They think EMOTIONALLY. In other words men think with their heads, women think with their hearts. And they tend to be attracted to that type of man because they think they can "help" him or "polish" him to be what they want him to be. They see it as an adventure and a challenge.
Wow...where are these guys? I want one that thinks with his head instead of acting like his ego is as fragile as an eggshell. I meet a lot of emotional men.
I've never been attracted to the bad boys, but some guys say they are the "nice guy" when they are mean or self-centered.
What's wrong with being self-centered? It's your life...you should come first. lol
I have a friend who is a super nice guy...real emotional, "needy" and plays the role of a woman in his relationships. He usually gets the women who abuse him, by beayting him up, verbally etc. He puts "her" first before him, and he always tumbles and can't figure it out.
Funny thing is that when he is a "jerk" and talks to women about sex right off the bat, he gets offers to sexual favors right and left. But being the nice guy he is, he teases and doesn't put out and calls the girls whores for willing to do it.
I have noticed this alot. The men who don't try to act like bad boys tend to be single longer than men who do live up to that "manly man" status. Every case is different, but what I have seen is unless the guy has alot of money or fits some certain physical trait, there is a high likelihood of being single.
because I believe they realize how difficult relationships really are...and they become confident, self relaint...remember, we don't have to be married to be successful....marriage to me is in the mind of a lot of people a document that says it's ok to have sex. some people fall in love with their Idea of what they think a relationship should be....and when that partner is not in their mind what they dreamed them up to be, they become disenchanted.
I don't know when people are going to realize...marriage takes a LOT of hard work....and it constantly changes....and when two people get married, there is a lot of give and take....not to mention, I believe decent men also realize that some women will pretend to be who they are not, just to hook a man, yanno....and, I think the bad boys, well most of em, don't grow up? They end up really, really hurting a lot of people, which makes them less attractive and after a while, you can simply pick em out....
I think a manly man, is not at all something physical, but for me, a man who is honest, confident and isn't high maintenance. He is independent and can very easily take care of himself...this man, when he falls in love, he knows what he wants, his needs and has now become intellectual through life experiences.....and you all know who you are....LOL
women love their *******s, *******s get all the ladys....after we are done with our *******s....we come looking for the sweet ones and unfortunately that is later in life.....
I never felt sexually depressed. I was just pissed off...had very little to choose from...had 2 boys to raise as a single parent, and left town 2 weeks at a time to work. Really didn't need to deal with dating or relationship building for quite awhile. And perhaps I am very very picky!
first off, I think you were a great dad and need to be commended...your sons were priority as they should have been, and now, you've been blessed...yanno Rance, they do say, what goes around comes around, and the more good karma you put out there, the more comes back to you...and just look at you now....
now can I sing...Rance and Sweden sittin in a tree? LOL
My best to both of you....big smiles...
i think its fine for woman to like bad boys. i dont think its fine for them to come crying to everyone when they cant figure out whythey got their teeth knocked out though.
No, I totally disagree...no one, but no one deserves to be abused or have their teeth knocked out....unacceptable.....period...
Last edited by cremebrulee; 12-13-2007 at 07:49 PM..
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