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It's a socially conditioned response. If it were biological then one would think none of the women in ancient Rome would've slept with any man ever, and they all would've died off. That and there is a minority of girls that are quite alright with it. There are girls that read tons of yaoi and fantasize about male/male stuff just like some guys fantasize about female/female stuff. Doesn't mean they would necessarily date someone who could fulfill those fantasies, but that's more a function of society conditioning many women to feel insecure about their sexuality.
Just because I personally find the idea of being intimate with a bisexual man a turn off, doesn't mean that I am insecure about my sexuality. It has nothing to do with society conditioning me to feel this way. I just want the man I am dating to be 100% into women. It would repulse me to think that the man I am kissing or having sex with has had his tongue/fingers/manhood inside another man. Sorry.
You don't think the woman has the right to know her potential boyfriend's sexual orientation?
Maybe not. I suppose it depends on the context of the relationship at whatever stage the two are in. If she's bi or prostituted 10 years of her life she'll probably not say a word to him until after they're married, or if before then, not until some time into they're dating.
His sexual past is his/her business anyways. Even if he or she had an incurable STD they knew about they need not feel obligated to reveal that on the first, second, or third date.
But regardless, when he wants to tell someone is up to him and not up to me.
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If she accepts it, it doesn't matter he tells her the first day or not. If she cannot accepts it, at least she can respect him for being honest and upfront.
He who has nothing to hide hides nothing.
I don't think a woman that was a porn star is "hiding" that if she meets me and does not tell me that. Why should she? Not my business. When and if she wants to tell me she can. Just like my wife's, girlfriend's, or my child's diary is not my business to browse through uninvited to read it.
I don't think a guy that's bisexual need feel obligated to tell anyone his sexual orientation that's not his SO.
There is no such thing as a bi-sexual. In the old days we referred to them as debauched hedonists... If I were a woman I would not want that in me after where it has been...Either clean up your act or stay with men...don't draw woman into your world that you will eventually damage and hurt.
Maybe not. I suppose it depends on the context of the relationship at whatever stage the two are in. If she's bi or prostituted 10 years of her life she'll probably not say a word to him until after they're married, or if before then, not until some time into they're dating.
His sexual past is his/her business anyways. Even if he or she had an incurable STD they knew about they need not feel obligated to reveal that on the first, second, or third date.
But regardless, when he wants to tell someone is up to him and not up to me.
I don't think a woman that was a porn star is "hiding" that if she meets me and does not tell me that. Why should she? Not my business. When and if she wants to tell me she can. Just like my wife's, girlfriend's, or my child's diary is not my business to browse through uninvited to read it.
I don't think a guy that's bisexual need feel obligated to tell anyone his sexual orientation that's not his SO.
So basically you think lying is acceptable as long as one gets laid. I see how your logic works. It doesn't surprise me.
Just to let you know, in case you didn't know.
"Civil Lawsuits
In many states, if you don't tell a partner about an STD and your partner contracts the disease, you could face a civil (non-criminal) lawsuit. For instance, STDs require medical treatment to cure them. STDs like HIV/AIDS and herpes are incurable and require life-long medical treatment. STDs can cause the victim to suffer emotional distress or time off work, too.
Your partner could sue you for negligence or personal injury, and if you lose, you may have to pay money damages for your partner's costs and injuries.
Criminal Charges
That's right, criminal charges may follow if you don't say anything to your partner.
Just because I personally find the idea of being intimate with a bisexual man a turn off, doesn't mean that I am insecure about my sexuality. It has nothing to do with society conditioning me to feel this way. I just want the man I am dating to be 100% into women. It would repulse me to think that the man I am kissing or having sex with has had his tongue/fingers/manhood inside another man. Sorry.
Eh, I think a bisexual dude attracted to a woman is "100% into women." It's not like he's only looking for a combination of the two in the form of a transsexual.
And your response is conditioned by society as the other poster stated. Think about it, all of us are affected by what society says we should think or believe or how we should react.
You're conditioned to think the guy sleeping with the guy is not "100% manly" to a females standard and ideal of masculinity. Kind of like men deciding on what a woman should be if she's a "real women." Although, few people use the phrase "real woman."
Also, you are aware more than a few guys that kiss women have had their tongues inside other women? and I'm not talking about in their mouths or vaginas.
But similar to you I'm not very much into girl on girl sex. It's not something I care to see or even think about.
So basically you think lying is acceptable as long as one gets laid. I see how your logic works. It doesn't surprise me.
No, that's not "basically" what I said nor what I think. My comments were in the context if two people going out on dates, not necessarily "items," and not sexually active with each other.
However, one has to decide for themselves when to tell someone something that personal and their own business.
I don't see anyone saying a guy dating a woman needs to reveal to her he is heterosexual. She may correctly--or incorrectly--infer it from their dates. But it's like those that are heterosexual advocates of homosexuality, that claim homosexuality so equivalent of heterosexuality, that it does not matter. It's natural and good. If it is so then it does not matter. The bisexuality does not matter any more than a heterosexual guy dating a woman that has previous sex life and attraction to other women.
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Just to let you know, in case you didn't know.
"Civil Lawsuits
In many states, if you don't tell a partner about an STD and your partner contracts the disease, you could face a civil (non-criminal) lawsuit. For instance, STDs require medical treatment to cure them. STDs like HIV/AIDS and herpes are incurable and require life-long medical treatment. STDs can cause the victim to suffer emotional distress or time off work, too.
Your partner could sue you for negligence or personal injury, and if you lose, you may have to pay money damages for your partner's costs and injuries.
Criminal Charges
That's right, criminal charges may follow if you don't say anything to your partner.
I don't have an STD. I'm not worried about being around a woman with HIV either. You are telling me this to tell me what?
No woman--or man--is need feel obligated to tell me they have HIV even if I invite them on a date. They should reveal that to me before we have sex. But if we are going out on a few dates thy would be wise to keep that to themselves as not all men will react well to that.
......It's similar to being attracted to blondes and brunettes. You can be monogamous to the blonde, even though you also like brunettes....
Here we go again...You are comparing 2 very different things. Being blonde or brunette is natural, just like being born with freckles is natural, being short or tall is natural. However, when a guy says he is attracted to guys also, that is very UNnatural. The same goes for girls who say they are attracted to girls. It is very bizarre and hard to understand. It's as bizarre as him saying he is also attracted to horses, pigs or cows. Is that natural? Absolutely not!!!
OP, most intelligent/conservative girls know when there is something not right with the guy they are dating so most of the time, they already probably know about your status but keep quiet maybe waiting to hear it from you. There are also girls who really hate being alone or stay home on Friday nights, so they will date anything to say "they are dating", but that does not mean they don't know! Like Nila just said, she knew the guys she dated were like you but went with them anyway.
Even if he or she had an incurable STD they knew about they need not feel obligated to reveal that on the first, second, or third date.
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Originally Posted by Supine
They should reveal that to me before we have sex.
I see now you changed your answer.
You "implied" an incurable STD is nobody's business, and the person who had that incurable STD is not "obligated" to reveal that information to his or her dates.
Then, you changed your answer to, "They should reveal that before sex."
Originally Posted by Supine Even if he or she had an incurable STD they knew about they need not feel obligated to reveal that on the first, second, or third date.
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Originally Posted by Supine They should reveal that to me before we have sex.
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Originally Posted by lilyflower3191981
I see now you changed your answer.
You "implied" an incurable STD is nobody's business, and the person who had that incurable STD is not "obligated" to reveal that information to his or her dates.
Then, you changed your answer to, "They should reveal that before sex."
I see how it works.
"date" does not mean "sex." There was no "change" my answer. The OP seemed to be talking about dates (not even many--sounded like first dates) he went on with women.
Plus, you might benefit from talking to some gay (or heterosexual) people with HIV if you thinking eating across the table from them or kissing their cheek will give you HIV.
Might be a good reason not to have sex with people on the first date too. A good reason not to have sex with them until you feel you're confident you know them very well. Waiting till marriage might be the best.
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