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I can't afford to purchase a $500,000 condo. Paying $2,000 a month for my own apartment is off budget for me.
If I lived in Las Vegas,Phoenix,Portland or most other parts of America I could afford my own apartment.
Not in the Los Angeles area!!
You are 32 years old with a "trust fund". You should be able to share an apartment for $1k with another man.
Like I said, you bring up your trust fund to make you seem like you have money. You don't. I'm just saying you should stop making it a part of your story because you perking up the ears of women who like men with money, but those girls figure out quick you have nothing and they bail. Just stop with the "trust fund" talk; if you in fact have one, the amount it provides is so little it hurts you to bring it up.
Almost 2 weeks ago I woman blocked my number and dumped my like trash. She fooled me and made me think that she really liked me.
About myself I"m a white 32 year old male who is 5 feet 8 inches and wieghes 211 pounds. Nine years ago I graduated from a University in California with a BA degress in Radio-Tv-Film. For the past 9 years my employment has been unstable becuase I have trouble passing job interviews and keeping jobs because people find me strange. I suffer from Aspergers Syndrome and Cerebral pulsy. My jobs have been mainly retail low paying jobs. Currently I drive a 1999 toyota camry and have a basic Verizon cell phone(non-smartphone).
I'm living in a bedroom inside my parents house. I don't have very many friends. In fact most of the people I hang out with are only use me for free car rides, me buying them restuarant meals out.
For many many and I mean many years I have wanted a serious realtionship with a woman. For the past 10 years I tryed hard and maybe even too hard to find a girlfriend with no luck at all. I have tried eharmoney,plentyofish.com,jdate. Also at shopping malls,supermarkets,starbucks I have tried talking to woman with no luck.
In Mid June 2013 a woman emailed me on plentyoffish.com. She had only one picture up that was with dogs and hard to see. For a first date she suggested meeting for a chineese food or italian dinner on her profile.
I suggested a italian or chineese food dinner as our first date. She said sure. Two weeks in advance she picked a time an place for our date at an italian restuarant. Two weeks before meeting her we texted back and forth many many times per day getting to know each other.
When I met her at the italian restuarant at 5 pm on a sunday in early July I was nervious to meet a stranger as most of us would.
She was waiting outside. We walked inot the restuarant together and sat down at a table. For 3 hours we were talking back and forth with no silence. She said some things and we both laughed together. At the end of the date I walked her to the car and gave her a hug. She said we have alot in common. Right away as soon as she got home she made plans to meet me for frozen yogart on evening at 7pm during the week a few days later. At the yogart date we talked for an hour and a half with no silence. She was going out of town to New York the next day for 5 days. As soon as she got home from New York she made plans right away to meet me for a 7:30pm movie and dinner before the movie. When she was in New York she didn't text me as much is when she is in town. This realtionship I feel was getting very serious. She texted me every day at 8am asking me what I'm doing all day. She also texted me asking what jobs I applied to and how many jobs. She also asked me what I was doing currently all day. I aksed her how she is doindg as well. She wanted me to meet her dogs and her parents.
Then on the same day as the movie date she texted me that she now wants to wait before introducing me to her parents and dog. I fowarded this text to my therapists because was unsure what it meant. By accident I pressed the wrong button on my phone and fowared the text the her. She was very very upset!! I explained it was a mistake and I needed to send the text to my therapist. She cancelled the date for the movie and said don't contact her again.
This happened at 4;30pm on a friday. At 9;30pm on that Friday she texted me that she overreacted and is sorry and that she is hotheaded. She reschedueled the movie date for Thursday for dinner and a movie. She texted me Saturday and Sunday like nothing ever happened. On Sunday she sent me a text asking me what do I want out of this relationship. I waited 5 minutes and she sent me another text saying whats taking you so long to answer. I finally answered her and this was at 1pm on a sunday. I told her I want this to be a meaningful relationship and maybe even marrage. She replied to me text that she had to get back to work. At 6:00pm on that Sunday I recieve the following text from her:
"First of all, I want you to know that I think you are a very interesting person and I can already tell you are a gentleman. I really enjoyed the two times we spent togehter and I hope you did too. I know its hard with the job situation in our country these days and I"m sure its hard for you having to look for a job. I especially understand because I was in the same situation myself after I graduated from college. But please understand that what you have written me in the past few days it just too intense for me. I know your're going through a difficult time and are well meaning, but I need to back off for now. This is not against you, it is just something that I have to do for myself. Have well deserved confidence in yourself. You have a lot going for you and your troubled are temporary. Be stron and have faith in yourself. Please lets not contact each other at all anymore."
This text was sent before the reschedueled movie date. After recieving the texta I recieved on Friday and on this sunday I was very very depressed and I lost my appititie and couldn't sleep or breath right. At 9pm I noticved that she had already removed me from her private facebook page and her facebook friends. Now which is alomst two weeks later I'm still hurt.
I;m wondering if she dumped me becuase in the month I texted her I didn't have a job and didn't get a job? I'm also wondering if she thinks I waste too much time fooling around? She also asked me on the first date why I don't have a smartphone?
Yesterday I send her a message on facebook messenger which she hand't blocked me on yet. I aksed her if she wanted to go to an afternoon play on saturday afternoon as we had planned 3 weeks ago. Rather than respond to my facebook message she blocked me in facebook messenger.
Is there anyway I can get this woman back?? I get along with her better than any of my guyfriends. She doesnt drink alchohol,do drugs or stay out late. I don't drink,do drugs or stay out late either.
She is obsessed with an artist called Bernandept Petters and likes to listen to broadway show soundtrack as well. She takes vacations around the united states and canada atleast twice a month to follow Bernadept Petters around for her concerts. If she flies somewhere for a Bernadept Petters concert she will spend a few extra days to see the city of where she visits. She travels alone or with friends.
Another question I have is why did this woman on the first date at the italian restuarant ask what my parents do for a living? I told her the truth that my mom doens't work and my dad is a doctor. Her eyes lit up!!
When she saw my 1999 toyota camry she didn't look too happy. She never rode in my car and I never picked her up. Both times when I met her she drove herself. When I told her where I live for the 2nd date a t a yogart shop she choose a yogart shop a block from my house. When we were supposed to got to a movie she choose a movie theater a block from my parents house.
She is a 26 year old woman who has a thick New York accent like the actress in The Nanny. She is also white. She went to college at Loyola Manhatten college. She grew up and went to high school in the San Fernando Valley area. She lives with her parents and has a full time job as a publicicty research assistant. I also like that she lives only 3 miles away from me and there isn't traffic for her to travel between where she lives and I live. She claims she shares a car with her mother which is a brand newish Honda civic. She also has an iphone,ipad and apple laptop. She is not an LA style thin blond model. She looks homely looking which is a rare find in LA. I myself I"m not an LA style Barbie dall Ken or a surfer model either.
My therpaist doesn't understand why I felt so connected to this woman and my parents dont either.
Even though many people day move on and find someone else its just not that easy. I send out 10 emails a day on plentyofish.com with no luck.
What should I do?
I'm sorry hun, but she owed you exactly nothing after 3 dates. The 3rd date is the one where you decide, where you have gotten to know the person enough to know if you're a good match to move to the next level. She probably did like you early on, but as she got to know you it waned. It sounds like you were negative on your dates, and presented yourself as down on your luck and with a host of problems. No woman is going to want to take all that on, healthy people who have their life together generally want partners who are also healthy and have their life together. To be honest, I don't think you should be dating until you have fixed your life and are in a more positive place.
I am sorry for your condition, but you have to also realize it would be difficult for someone without it to be on your wavelength emotionally. The third date is not nearly long enough for intense feelings. I don't know what you said, but it sounds like you really went overboard. No one wants to be with someone who seems like they want to latch onto us for dear life. I must ask, did you disclose you had Asperger's before the date? You have to understand most people form emotional bonds in a different way than you do, and a different way of communicating. You might be better off with someone who shares this with you. You yourself said job interviews don't go well because people find you strange. There is a reason Sheldon dates Amy and not Penny. But regardless, make yourself a good partner for someone first, and focus on getting a job and your own place before looking for a woman.
You might try a book such as "how to win friends and influence people" by Dale Carnegie, take a seminar on interviewing (many libraries and unemployment centers have them for free) or even consulting with a speech therapist to learn better communication skills. In other words, DO something about your life rather than complaining about it on dates. Then you will find someone who wants to be around you for a long time. Best of Luck!
You are 32 years old with a "trust fund". You should be able to share an apartment for $1k with another man.
Like I said, you bring up your trust fund to make you seem like you have money. You don't. I'm just saying you should stop making it a part of your story because you perking up the ears of women who like men with money, but those girls figure out quick you have nothing and they bail. Just stop with the "trust fund" talk; if you in fact have one, the amount it provides is so little it hurts you to bring it up.
There arent any $1,000 a month apartments near me that are in safe areas of town. I don't want a woman who is only looking for money.
I'm sorry hun, but she owed you exactly nothing after 3 dates. The 3rd date is the one where you decide, where you have gotten to know the person enough to know if you're a good match to move to the next level. She probably did like you early on, but as she got to know you it waned. It sounds like you were negative on your dates, and presented yourself as down on your luck and with a host of problems. No woman is going to want to take all that on, healthy people who have their life together generally want partners who are also healthy and have their life together. To be honest, I don't think you should be dating until you have fixed your life and are in a more positive place.
I am sorry for your condition, but you have to also realize it would be difficult for someone without it to be on your wavelength emotionally. I must ask, did you disclose you had Asperger's before the date? You have to understand most people form emotional bonds in a different way than you do, and a different way of communicating. You might be better off with someone who shares this with you. You yourself said job interviews don't go well because people find you strange. There is a reason Sheldon dates Amy and not Penny. But regardless, make yourself a good partner for someone first, and focus on getting a job and your own place before looking for a woman.
You might try a book such as "how to win friends and influence people" by Dale Carnegie, take a seminar on interviewing (many libraries and unemployment centers have them for free) or even consulting with a speech therapist to learn better communication skills. In other words, DO something about your life rather than complaining about it on dates. Then you will find someone who wants to be around you for a long time. Best of Luck!
On the dates I was as positive as possible. I wouldn't want to colunteer and tell her that I have aspergers syndrome. She could assume that I'm slow or mentally retarded.
On the dates I was as positive as possible. I wouldn't want to colunteer and tell her that I have aspergers syndrome. She could assume that I'm slow or mentally retarded.
I feel you need to tell people that, IMO, not only potential dates but also employers. It is much better than coming off as "strange". Who knows, it might even help with certain jobs as long as they are in your strengths (I would think you'd have more success with less people-oriented jobs).
I feel you will be better off if you can truly accept who you are and get honest about it rather than be ashamed of it and try to hide it. Hiding who you are is not a way to build a foundation for a lasting relationship. How can anyone trust you if you've hidden yourself from the beginning?
No one should assume anything about your IQ or anything else, because you should be educating them about it, not just announcing it. I really think you should have something in your profile, a simple sentence "I have Asperger's, which makes if difficult for me to read people, so I get along best with women who can be direct". That at least gives them the respect of allowing them to make a choice about it. Yes, you will narrow your pool, but the ones you meet will be a better fit.
There is a lock for every key, and I have faith that you will find your perfect fit, but you have to stop hiding, and start validating yourself rather than looking to someone else to do it.
I feel you need to tell people that, IMO, not only potential dates but also employers. It is much better than coming off as "strange". Who knows, it might even help with certain jobs as long as they are in your strengths (I would think you'd have more success with less people-oriented jobs).
I feel you will be better off if you can truly accept who you are and get honest about it rather than be ashamed of it and try to hide it. Hiding who you are is not a way to build a foundation for a lasting relationship. How can anyone trust you if you've hidden yourself from the beginning?
No one should assume anything about your IQ or anything else, because you should be educating them about it, not just announcing it. I really think you should have something in your profile, a simple sentence "I have Asperger's, which makes if difficult for me to read people, so I get along best with women who can be direct". That at least gives them the respect of allowing them to make a choice about it. Yes, you will narrow your pool, but the ones you meet will be a better fit.
There is a lock for every key, and I have faith that you will find your perfect fit, but you have to stop hiding, and start validating yourself rather than looking to someone else to do it.
THIS. OP, this is very good advice and I hope you will consider it carefully...Best of luck!
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