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Not really. She tells him that he's a "really interesting person" and blamed the breakup on his being "too intense" with his reply to her question. She's not saying that she doesn't find him attractive mentally or physically as a romantic partner and potential spouse.
Obviously they are not communicating on the same plane. After all, while they were dating, he actually thought that she was in love with him, and so was really puzzled when she suddenly wanted to break off all contact with him.
Not really. She tells him that he's a "really interesting person" and blamed the breakup on his being "too intense" with his reply to her question. She's not saying that she doesn't find him attractive mentally or physically as a romantic partner and potential spouse.
Obviously they are not communicating on the same plane. After all, while they were dating, he actually thought that she was in love with him, and so was really puzzled when she suddenly wanted to break off all contact with him.
Except that the OP has Asperger's, which means that he's not attuned to body language and social cues. He wants a relationship, but was coming on too strong after two (2!) dates. That's not a serious relationship wherein she'd owe him a face-to-face explanation.
Personally, I can't stand women and men like that.
Yes, she did indeed "FOOL" you, and it is not your fault. What a lousy human being! Hopefully, you can learn from all these and move on to a much better person. Don't sell yourself short.
How can she dump you without reasons and explanation? How can she do that after somebody showed total vulnerability? Don't kid yourself, she didn't love you, she just felt lonely. She is the one has issues, not you. Good luck to her, she can find another sucker to play games with.
You deserve somebody better, at least someone WOMAN enough to show HER vulnerability, someone who don't think she is the God's gift to all men.
Move on, enjoy yourself, concentrate on your own health and inner peace. The right girl will come along.
((((((( ))))))))
Because of the way she treated me in the end it makes me want to move on and hope I find someone who appreciates me. I'm a guy a woman should be glad to have.
Any woman I get I will appreciate and treat her very well.
Be patient and be kind to yourself. Don't scare the girls away with your emotions next time. Not a big deal. Let the girl go. You will find somebody in the future. Good luck to you.
I can only imagine it must be very difficult to live with your condition. When I all of a sudden became this thing called "suicide survivor" (my late boyfriend killed himself), people label me as a woman with emotional baggage. (I never had any mental issues. still people believe grieving people are just equally sick) I know how difficult to be different.
I've dated several very wonderful men after my late boyfriend's suicide. I am in a relationship with somebody who is very supportive of me. There is hope, sweetie, good luck to you and I wish you well.
yeah, she could have offered a reason WHY she had to dump him. You don't just disappear like that.
Only explanation one person ever owes another at that stage of the game is, "I'm sorry. I think you're a great person and all, but I don't think we're a good match. I wish you well."
And that's only if the breaker feels comfortable enough with the breakee to do so. Some people give off a vibe that they won't respect such an explanation. I've run into guys who want to know why I didn't think we were a good match, what they did wrong, what they could do better, and so on. It was almost like they thought they knew better than I did about whether we were a good match, or that they felt they could "fix" whatever they did wrong and then I'd give them another chance. It was very awkward, and in some cases exasperating. I mean, sometimes you learn or see things about someone that you just don't like, and who wants to say, "I just don't LIKE you," you know? I tend to reserve that kind of bluntness for people who push and push and push until I just want to defenestrate them, not for someone I barely know after a date or two who hasn't don't anything aggressively wrong or rude.
So I can see why some people--men and women--just kind of duck out after a couple of dates. There's no real emotional investment at that point.
Me, I learned to say, "I met someone else" or "I got back together with an old boyfriend." It's easier and it's the one thing a gal can rely on to get a man to back off.
Only explanation one person ever owes another at that stage of the game is, "I'm sorry. I think you're a great person and all, but I don't think we're a good match. I wish you well."
And that's only if the breaker feels comfortable enough with the breakee to do so. Some people give off a vibe that they won't respect such an explanation. I've run into guys who want to know why I didn't think we were a good match, what they did wrong, what they could do better, and so on. It was almost like they thought they knew better than I did about whether we were a good match, or that they felt they could "fix" whatever they did wrong and then I'd give them another chance. It was very awkward, and in some cases exasperating. I mean, sometimes you learn or see things about someone that you just don't like, and who wants to say, "I just don't LIKE you," you know? I tend to reserve that kind of bluntness for people who push and push and push, to the point where they are completely unwelcome, not for someone I barely know after a date or two.
So I can see why some people--men and women--just kind of duck out after a couple of dates. There's no real emotional investment at that point.
Me, I learned to say, "I met someone else" or "I got back together with an old boyfriend." It's easier and it's the one thing a gal can rely on to get a man to back off.
That is true. I told them, "It is me, not you." I just hate confrontation. I gave them an explanation / reason, so they can move on and get some closure.
That is true. I told them, "It is me, not you." I just hate confrontation. I gave them an explanation / reason, so they can move on and get some closure.
Yeah, that works until you get a guy who sees through that and gets nasty with you for it. I've been through that, too.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Prince_Frog
Lying is the easiest way to make people leave you alone, I agree!
Like someone will be able to tell the difference after a date or two, anyway.
Please read my entire post, instead of taking one line out of context.
yeah, she could have offered a reason WHY she had to dump him. You don't just disappear like that.
First off, no one owes you anything after two dates. I would have just said "I don't think we're going t be a good match". Secondly she DID, a rather lengthy one in fact:
"First of all, I want you to know that I think you are a very interesting person and I can already tell you are a gentleman. I really enjoyed the two times we spent together and I hope you did too. I know its hard with the job situation in our country these days and I"m sure its hard for you having to look for a job. I especially understand because I was in the same situation myself after I graduated from college. But please understand that what you have written me in the past few days it just too intense for me. I know you're going through a difficult time and are well meaning, but I need to back off for now. This is not against you, it is just something that I have to do for myself. Have well deserved confidence in yourself. You have a lot going for you and your troubled are temporary. Be stron and have faith in yourself. Please lets not contact each other at all anymore."
He still hasn't said what he wrote to her, but anything that is "intense" has no place after 2 dates. He scared her off, and she was decent enough to write him a lengthy letter that she did to want to continue, which again after just 2 dates, was more than she needed to do.
Again it is not "dumped" as 2 dates does not equal a relationship.
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