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Is it a lie or omission when the person posting the profile sees themselves in a particular way? What one person describes as cute might be someone else's fugly. Is that false and misleading? No, there is some leeway in definitions used. You can't use narrow definitions with any measure of success.
Insofar, it is a matter of perception.
The way the op handled it was rude and *******ish.
I did online dating for about six months. I changed my pics every month. There was no need to as I wasn't drastically different. But it didn't hurt to show how I look like currently. I took pictures of me standing up at the park, sitting and eating with friends, on vacation, in my backyard, and even pictures of me at work. I took profile pics and head to toe pics of me outside in good light. I made sure to get pictures of different angles.
It wasn't hard to do these things. I did this because I wanted people to see the full me so there wasn't any misunderstandings. If you have the time to check your dating profile for messages at least once a month, then you have enough time to upload new pics once a month.
Try reading again. He said have a few drinks. He didn't say buy them.
If you understood what gentlemanly behavior was, you'd know that it isn't conditional.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011
I couldn't rep you again, but the bolded is what seems to be missing for a lot of people. Being a "gentleman" or a "lady" is a way you conduct yourself always, not based on who you encounter and how you feel about them.
And why is there no outrage from you two for her lack of lady-like behavior?
And why is there no outrage from you two for her lack of lady-like behavior?
Who said there isn't? I find what she did offensive as well. But what he did was worse because it was meant to be hurtful. You can reject someone without having to bloody their nose.
Who said there isn't? I find what she did offensive as well. But what he did was worse because it was meant to be hurtful. You can reject someone without having to bloody their nose.
I thought the whole online thing was to be able to weed through the "ones you aren't attracted to" from the get go? If you lie on your resume expect consequences.
i actually was talking to a woman online who was pretty attractive.she had 2 pics up and one of them was of her in shea stadium which in case you didnt know closed in 2008.i asked her to send more recent pics an she hemmed and hawed at first. finally she sent one that was just a face shot before finally sending a full body pic which showed she had easily put on 50 lbs since the old pics.
if she was uncomofrtable with her weight she would be a lot better off trying to lose it then trying to trick men. if she is fine with her weight she should be honest about it and im sure many men would have found her attractive. but i really don't know what she expected to happen when i or another guy showed up and she had put on a ton of weight.
but let me guess im shallow blah blah blah should have given her a chance even though i didnt find her attractive and she is anextremely deceptive person.
I think just about 97% of people would think 50lbs is a game changer whether they admit it or not.
I did online dating for about six months. I changed my pics every month. There was no need to as I wasn't drastically different. But it didn't hurt to show how I look like currently. I took pictures of me standing up at the park, sitting and eating with friends, on vacation, in my backyard, and even pictures of me at work. I took profile pics and head to toe pics of me outside in good light. I made sure to get pictures of different angles.
It wasn't hard to do these things. I did this because I wanted people to see the full me so there wasn't any misunderstandings. If you have the time to check your dating profile for messages at least once a month, then you have enough time to upload new pics once a month.
Even when someone posts recent and accurate pics, there's a still a chance they'll be perceived differently in person. Online dating profiles are kinda like resumes in that we try to frame ourselves in the best light possible. If you're overweight, you might post a pic that has you in a more flattering outfit. If you're short, you might use a pic where you're standing next to people who are the same height. If you're worried that you look old, you'll avoid using pics that draw attention to your wrinkles. I'm in my late 30s and have a pretty noticeable amount of grey hair on my head. My hair is also thinning on top. But when I go through even recent pictures of myself, I can barely see the grey and my hair looks a lot thicker than it does in the mirror. So someone might meet me in person and think I lied. But again. It's not that I posted inaccurate pics. One, I picked the ones that made me look my best. And two, the camera only reveals so much.
I think you had the right to be upset. I don't understand why you felt you had the need to tell her that she wasn't good enough for you. You saw her before you approached, and you knew at that point that she wasn't what you wanted.
I honestly don't know if I buy what you are selling. Are you telling me that you walked up to her, told her she wasn't good enough, walked out, and she STILL texted you? Come on.
However....Idon't understand people who say go through with the date. If the OP was rude enough to do what he did, having a few drinks would have been a miserable experience for both of them. People know when you aren't into them. This whole, "Well, you're not what I wanted, but I'll do you the favor of sitting here and chit-chatting" makes no sense to me.
I thought the whole online thing was to be able to weed through the "ones you aren't attracted to" from the get go? If you lie on your resume expect consequences.
The purpose of "the whole online thing" is to have the opportunity to meet people you might not normally ever encounter in you're everyday life. And yes, it does make it easier to filter out people, for example by age or religion. But lying is still a reality of dating. I'm old enough to remember what dating was like before the Internet and there was still plenty of lying. Does the internet make it easier to lie? In some ways, yes. But in other ways, just the opposite. Most people lie to some extent on their resumes and after enough bad interviews, they figure out what lies they can get away with. But unlike the OP, I've never had an employer insult and belittle me after discovering that I wasn't what they thought they were getting.
This thread is a prime example of the principle that in online dating, women are worried about meeting a murderer and men are worried about meeting a fat woman.
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