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Yep. I wouldn't walk out of a date where there was zero spark. I have had those dates too and they have ranged from arranging another date to see where it headed, to both agreeing there was nothing there. However in these cases no one lied.
I am inclined to believe those who think he was wrong to walk out lie on their profiles about their weight. Either that or they never encountered dealing with liars. I have and I hate it.
I've been there before. Showed up for an Internet date and he was obviously ten years older than he said. I went through with the date, gave him an hour of polite conversation, and declined politely when he asked for a second date.
What you did was harsh, but respectably blunt. That was wrong of the chick to post such an old picture.
Yeah, you just lied about your age.
It's only a lie when other people do it.
Once again I didn't meet these guys. If I had and they walked away that would be another story. Then again I do look younger and younger men hit on me all the time in real life.
Women also worry about meeting up with fat men. When I was in my 20's I went on a blind date with a guy I had met online. He never once mentioned he was overweight (grossly so) when we discussed appearances on the phone. I guess that should have been a clue to me not to go forward. When he came to pick me up, he was not at all what I was expecting, but to be polite I went through with it anyway.
So it's not just women who are not up front about their true weight.
But what about the OP? How come you're not saying, "She shouldn't have lied to him. Geez - he's still a human being."?
I am 100% positive that because the OP is a male acting rude to a female, he's in the wrong. If the genders were reversed I'm sure the OP wouldn't be getting nearly as much hate. Dating is difficult. Both men and women can be harsh. But if you lie to your potential date, you don't deserve nice treatment.
Like I said before, people blatantly lying on their profile is rampant on dating sites. If people stop being nice to people about it then perhaps this type of behavior will decrease.
I don't think people should like on their online profiles. I raked a woman over the coals on another thread because she wanted to lie about her age. However, posting an outdated or over flattering pic of yourself because you want people to go out with you isn't the same as being completely rude to someone. Gender has nothing to do with this.
I used to work at a place where people were completely rude to me all the time. You know what I did? I killed them with kindness. Why? Because then I never had to be ashamed of myself or feel like I had lowered myself to their level. I could sleep at night knowing that I had kept my integrity even when they had not kept theirs.
One thing I do whenever I start chatting with someone online where it looks like it might lead to a meeting is that I'll try to soften expectations. For example, if someone says I'm in really good shape, I'll joke that I've been going out to eat a bit too much lately. Or if they say I have a lot of hair on my head for a guy my age, I'll mention that it's thinning on top. Sure that kind of disclosure could backfire and scare the person off. But it accomplishes two things. One, it shows that you're not afraid to poke fun at yourself. Two, if and when we finally meet, I don't have to worry about the person feeling mislead by my pictures.
I see women who take this approach, but they actually do it in their profile. For example, they'll list their body type as average and post a pic that might obscure their trouble spots. But then in the text of the profile, they'll say something along the lines of, "I exercise and eat healthy, but I'm no skinny girl." Some women will even admit that they lied about their age just so they wouldn't get filtered out by someone's search. Does that qualify as dishonesty? Perhaps. But it's so minor I wouldn't make a big deal out of it. Oh the horror. She lied about her age, which caused me to click on her profile and lose 20 seconds of my life.
But what about the OP? How come you're not saying, "She shouldn't have lied to him. Geez - he's still a human being."?
I am 100% positive that because the OP is a male acting rude to a female, he's in the wrong. If the genders were reversed I'm sure the OP wouldn't be getting nearly as much hate. Dating is difficult. Both men and women can be harsh. But if you lie to your potential date, you don't deserve nice treatment.
Like I said before, people blatantly lying on their profile is rampant on dating sites. If people stop being nice to people about it then perhaps this type of behavior will decrease.
Stop trying to make this into a gender issue. Yes, there are double standards in dating. But that's not the case here. If a guy lied about his weight and the woman he was meeting with reacted the same way the OP did, I would condemn her behavior just as much as I condemn the OP's. And I suspect a lot of women would condemn her as well. Yes, there are people who are quick to defend someone of their own gender. You seem to think the women are going easy on the woman who lied because she's a woman. But I could make the exact same argument about the men who are defending the OP.
As for the last sentence in your post, if you really think being a jerk is going to discourage the liars, think again. Online dating can be a valuable tool, but one big issue I have with it is that it creates the illusion of having unlimited options. A woman (or man) can lie about their appearance, get busted when they arrive at first date, but then they'll go home, log on, and see plenty of other singles they can lie to. Doing what the OP did will not discourage that woman from lying again. In fact, it could embolden her. How? Because she'll go home and say to herself, "that guy was a jerk so at least I dodged a bullet. Now onto the next one."
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Oh the horror. She lied about her age, which caused me to click on her profile and lose 20 seconds of my life.
