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There are a few men out in the world who have manners so appallingly bad that it is not difficult to understand why they can't get a date.
With on line dating you do a first meeting that is inexpensive and could be of short duration. That is so you can exit gracefully without too much time and money invested. There is no excuse for being cruel. If no interest, you can chat for a couple of minutes, politely say it doesn't look like it will work out, and make a polite exit.
Perhaps some of you have noticed several threads stating that it is a huge red flag when a person is rude to the wait staff. Well, being rude to a person that you have set up a meeting with gets a big red flag on the play.
You guys really think they are saying what he did was ok?
Reads more to me that he was rude but less rude than the time-wasting liar.
I think they are both giant winners!!!!
Not only did he behave like a consummate jerkwad, he was also pretty stupid about it, too. He didn't even tell her why he was walking away. He just looked at her, spewed out a declaration, and waltzed out. For all we know, this woman has no idea what was going through his head and may very well not be aware that he felt deceived. Two years will not change your face that much unless you're a meth-head, and 20-30 pounds won't change much unless you're 5 feet tall. She might not even be aware of the difference between her pictures and her flesh-and-blood presentation. I've had many, many people tell me I look different than I do in photos. Fortunately, they say my photos don't do me justice, but still. The camera doesn't often catch the real me. Sometimes, it goes the other way, too. Having spent a lot of time around models in college and my early 20s, I can tell you that a lot of them look pretty awful in the flesh, but the camera loves their bone structure. Maybe the angle and lighting or her pose made her look smaller than she was.
If a guy is going to claim some high principle about online dating--which in itself is pretty moronic, ironic, and ridiculous because if he was all that and had his pick of women he wouldn't be on such a site in the first place--he could at least make a point about it. As it stands now, all he did was look like an ahole to rival goatse. (And I'll let you Google that term.)
The thing is that while she was wrong to misrepresent herself, it wasn't done, in my opinion, in a malicious fashion..... so she gets a much bigger break. I could be wrong, but that's how I view it.
I know that if I was ever to online date, I'd post a pic that was less flattering, just so I could possibly "under promise and over deliver".... if you know what I mean.
Chow, I don't disagree that he didn't handle it well, I just don't think she deserves a pass, but yes, what he has done up to this point wins the award for bigger (no pun intended) jerkdumb. I know for myself, I tell the person, just how fat I am and if I've gained weight how old the pic is. Plus I already know ahead of time if they have an affinity for or against my body type before venturing out. I don't waste my time. I've rarely ever met anyone that was disappointed on a first meeting. I'm also quite blunt, so you'll get to hear my opinion if you've lied to me. I will be polite, but if you ask my opinion, I'm going to say what I think. I've had guys in print say they were 5'11, yet in person stand eye to eye with my 5' 6 self ever shrinking more like 5' 5-2/4 these days One guy had lifts in his shoes. I didn't insult or end either of those dates based on those things. But when the guy showed up that said he was in his 30's or 40s and turned out to be somewhere more like 50's 60's and I was in my 20's, I wasn't having it. Don't quote on those ages, it was more than 20 years ago, I'm getting senile.
Let's twist it around so some can see (I hope)where people are going who agree with Capitol. Let's say they lied about something else would you stay? I once walked out of a date when he mentioned he had kids. My profile clearly stated "no dads", he knew that, yet was deceptive. Another time the loser man I met told me in fact he was married and I walked out. Going by the logic of some here I should have stayed to talk to these guys. They lied about something very important to me, like weight is apparently important to Capitol.
Let's twist it around so some can see (I hope)where people are going who agree with Capitol. Let's say they lied about something else would you stay? I once walked out of a date when he mentioned he had kids. My profile clearly stated "no dads", he knew that, yet was deceptive. Another time the loser man I met told me in fact he was married and I walked out. Going by the logic of some here I should have stayed to talk to these guys. They lied about something very important to me, like weight is apparently important to Capitol.
You keep your class.
You stay a short time, be polite, make up some reason to leave or even tell the truth about why you are cutting the date short, but do it in a respectful way, don't look someone up and down and walk out, that is a serious dyckhead move.
What part of that of that is so hard for people to get????
You stay a short time, be polite, make up some reason to leave or even tell the truth about why you are cutting the date short, but do it in a respectful way, don't look someone up and down and walk out, that is a serious dyckhead move.
What part of that of that is so hard for people to get????
But the thing is the two example I mentioned both lied and there's also the morals issue (especially with the married guy). The two guys were classless by what they did.
Let's twist it around so some can see (I hope)where people are going who agree with Capitol. Let's say they lied about something else would you stay? I once walked out of a date when he mentioned he had kids. My profile clearly stated "no dads", he knew that, yet was deceptive. Another time the loser man I met told me in fact he was married and I walked out. Going by the logic of some here I should have stayed to talk to these guys. They lied about something very important to me, like weight is apparently important to Capitol.
Yes, let's turn it around. If the man lied to you about having kids or being married, that's your opportunity to ask him why he lied. Put him on the spot. Make him squirm. The OP didn't do that, which stupefies me. If a woman lied to me, I'd be asking her why. I wouldn't just give her a dirty look, walk away, and hope that she figures out why. You're also setting up a false equivalence here. The woman who walks away in disgust isn't saying that there's something awful about being a father. But the OP was saying there's something about being overweight. Imagine if the woman said "eww, gross. You have kids? Kids are disgusting and you're disgusting for having them." This is the equivalent of what the OP did. As so many of us have already said, it's not that the woman lied to the OP. It's that she looked terrible to him and rather than confront her on her dishonesty, he chose to insult her over her weight. That's uncalled for.
But the thing is the two example I mentioned both lied and there's also the morals issue (especially with the married guy). The two guys were classless by what they did.
So..... if they were "classless" now you should act classless????
You missed the entire point of my post.... but again... I should have expected that......
They were classless but me leaving isn't classless but rather showing them they can't lie.
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One guy had lifts in his shoes. I didn't insult or end either of those dates based on those things. But when the guy showed up that said he was in his 30's or 40s and turned out to be somewhere more like 50's 60's and I was in my 20's, I wasn't having it. Don't quote on those ages, it was more than 20 years ago, I'm getting senile.
