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I dont understand when you say you signed off on his social security. I dont that that is even possible, do you mean on his pension? You get social security on his earnings as a divorced spouse, and it has nothing to do with what he or his wife gets.
I also only left with my animals, and when the house sold, took 50% of that. Left him his military pension, which I certainly felt I deserved, but he said to my face that I didnt deserve it. I didnt fight it, I just wanted out.
yes, I'm sorry to confuse you I meant his pension...thank you...
Yes you are, the dominant sentiment of this thread is that old radical feminist saying that,
"A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle."
According to the attitude on this and other threads on CD, we older men are said to be beasts because, choose as many as you like:
We get old.
We develop health issues.
We lose our looks.
We do not stay in shape.
We demand sex too often, or
We screw our secretaries, or
We are no longer able to screw anyone.
We play golf too often.
We go fishing too often.
We go bowling too often.
We spend too much time away from home, or
We spend too much time at home and get in the way and get on a woman's nerves.
We do not make or have enough money.
We spend too much money on trivial things.
We make money, but do not spend enough on her, we are cheapskates.
We never help out or do anything around the house.
We never pick up after ourselves, drop our clothes all over, and leave a mess wherever we go.
We pee on the toilet seat or on the floor.
We expect a woman to always wait on us hand and foot at a moment's notice.
We do not give a woman the emotional intimacy, affection, closeness, and warmth that she needs.
We never take her anyplace she wants to go.
We seek out another woman late in life only because we want, "A nurse, a purse, and a housekeeper."
Well, I'm glad you get it!
Seriously, though...
Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackShoe
One of the common complaints expressed by these women is whining that they "Are tired of taking care of a man." Excuse me, but isn't that what you do in a close relationship, take care of each other? He takes care of you, and you take care of him? It would seem that these self centered women feel entitled to all the benefits and advantages of a close relationship with a man, while at the same time not assuming any of the responsibilities or obligations. You want a man in your life but not in your house?
Yes. That's exactly right. Because how do men take care of women?
We can earn our own money.
We can have our own retirement.
We can buy our own homes.
If we want stimulating dinner conversation and someone to go out and do things, we have friends and family.
And no man can move as fast as a Rabbit.
But I've yet to run into a man who didn't think it was my responsibility to do the cooking and the cleaning. I hear a lot of lip service about it, but when push comes to shove, it's like I said to Homina: In every couple that I know of, when both parties work, cohabitation or marriage means more labor for the woman, less for the man.
And given that couples are more likely to divorce when the wife gets sick, what does that tell you? Because it tells me that men are more likely to cut and run when the chit hits the fan.
When you say this thread has turned into a discussion of why marriage is a bad proposition for older women, that may be, but there are eleventy billion threads on here from men who talk about how marriage is a bad proposition for men in general.
The best part of all of this is the irony: Tradition has it that women are the ones who want a man to commit, and so many young women spend so much time trying to land a husband, while the guys joke about "the ol' ball and chain." We hear time and again all manner of excuse for men not wanting to be "tied down," right down to biology and the "drive to spread seed." Nowadays, and on this board in particular, we hear about what men "stand to lose" in terms of marriage and divorce.
But when y'all start staring down your mortality and it becomes real to you that you are closer to sitting in a wheelchair alone and forgotten in the old folks home than you are to nights out on the town carousing with the boys, suddenly marriage and commitment become of paramount importance. You spend your youths avoiding commitment (and lamenting your "loss of freedom" when you do commit), but when you start slowing down and can't do as much as you used to, suddenly a wife is a useful, er, wonderful thing to have. That's how a lot of your brethren come off, and why women tend to regard men who hit 40 without having been married as undesirable. No one wants to be the recipient of a proposal borne of a midlife crisis and a fear of dying alone.
So maybe you should take it up with your sons, nephews, and male grandchildren so you can stop the cycle.
There. Ya wanted sexist? Ya wanted bitter? I just showed you sexist and bitter.
Would like to add an amusing, upbeat comment on the more than just a few, of the men and women that have absolutely, positively insisted that never, ever, under any circumstances, would they marry again, or for that matter, ever even become involved with a member of the opposite sex, even casually. They have just quit and given up, for whatever reason. Then one fine day, suddenly and without warning, in some unlikely place, they Meet Somebody. Cupid bends his bow, lets fly, and his arrow strikes home. Not all that much later, they are announcing their engagement. LOL. Now lets see, if I had just 10 bucks for every time I have seen this happen during my lifetime, where could I go on vaction, paid for with the money?
I said in my post, that I do have male platonic casual friends..
Would like to add an amusing, upbeat comment on the more than just a few, of the men and women that have absolutely, positively insisted that never, ever, under any circumstances, would they marry again, or for that matter, ever even become involved with a member of the opposite sex, even casually. They have just quit and given up, for whatever reason. Then one fine day, suddenly and without warning, in some unlikely place, they Meet Somebody.
I usually start my discussion of not getting married with "Never say never"
But after 50 and no longer needing to do the family thing or make babies, why get married ?
Economic reasons maybe but most seniors like their space.
Sleep overs are a lot more fun when you can go home after a weekend.
Yes. That's exactly right. Because how do men take care of women?
We can earn our own money.
We can have our own retirement.
We can buy our own homes.
If we want stimulating dinner conversation and someone to go out and do things, we have friends and family.
And no man can move as fast as a Rabbit.
But I've yet to run into a man who didn't think it was my responsibility to do the cooking and the cleaning. I hear a lot of lip service about it, but when push comes to shove, it's like I said to Homina: In every couple that I know of, when both parties work, cohabitation or marriage means more labor for the woman, less for the man.
And given that couples are more likely to divorce when the wife gets sick, what does that tell you? Because it tells me that men are more likely to cut and run when the chit hits the fan.
When you say this thread has turned into a discussion of why marriage is a bad proposition for older women, that may be, but there are eleventy billion threads on here from men who talk about how marriage is a bad proposition for men in general.
The best part of all of this is the irony: Tradition has it that women are the ones who want a man to commit, and so many young women spend so much time trying to land a husband, while the guys joke about "the ol' ball an chain." We hear time and again all manner of excuse for men not wanting to be "tied down," right down to biology and the "drive to spread seed." Nowadays, and on this board in particular, we hear about what men "stand to lose" in terms of marriage and divorce.
But when y'all start staring down your mortality and it becomes real to you that you are closer to sitting in a wheelchair alone and forgotten in the old folks home than you are to nights out on the town carousing with the boys, suddenly marriage and commitment becomes of paramount importance. You spend your youths avoiding commitment (and lamenting your "loss of freedom" when you do commit), but when you start slowing down and can't do as much as you used to, suddenly a wife is a useful, er, wonderful thing to have. That's how a lot of your brethren come off, and why women tend to regard men who hit 40 without having been married as undesirable. No one wants to be the recipient of a proposal borne of a midlife crisis and a fear of dying alone.
So maybe you should take it up with your sons, nephews, and male grandchildren so you can stop the cycle.
There. Ya wanted sexist? Ya wanted bitter? I just showed you sexist and bitter.
yanno, I gotta say, and this is true, and not just saying this because he is my son, but my daughter in law now works two part time jobs, all kinds of hours, so my son took 3rd shift and he cooks, cleans and does laundry for her to help ojut......so, I know there are men out there who do that, however, I was never lucky enough to find one.....lol
OMG, OMG! Be still my heart. I can't believe it, I went to the store and, and, there he was. I met the one. I'm so happy to report, I found the perfect male specimen. I think I really am in love.
Yes you are, the dominant sentiment of this thread is that old radical feminist saying that,
"A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle."
According to the attitude on this and other threads on CD, we older men are said to be beasts because, choose as many as you like:
We get old.
We develop health issues.
We lose our looks.
We do not stay in shape.
We demand sex too often, or
We screw our secretaries, or
We are no longer able to screw anyone.
We play golf too often.
We go fishing too often.
We go bowling too often.
We spend too much time away from home, or
We spend too much time at home and get in the way and get on a woman's nerves.
We do not make or have enough money.
We spend too much money on trivial things.
We make money, but do not spend enough on her, we are cheapskates.
We never help out or do anything around the house.
We never pick up after ourselves, drop our clothes all over, and leave a mess wherever we go.
We pee on the toilet seat or on the floor.
We expect a woman to always wait on us hand and foot at a moment's notice.
We do not give a woman the emotional intimacy, affection, closeness, and warmth that she needs.
We never take her anyplace she wants to go.
We seek out another woman late in life only because we want, "A nurse, a purse, and a housekeeper."
As a presently unattached older male, on the above list, about the only thing that myself, and many, many other older men are guilty of, is getting older, and perhaps, loosing our looks a bit and getting a few minor health problems. The blatant cynicism and accusations hurled by bitter women are infuriating to those of us that do not deserve them.
One of the common complaints expressed by these women is whining that they "Are tired of taking care of a man." Excuse me, but isn't that what you do in a close relationship, take care of each other? He takes care of you, and you take care of him? It would seem that these self centered women feel entitled to all the benefits and advantages of a close relationship with a man, while at the same time not assuming any of the responsibilities or obligations. You want a man in your life but not in your house? You wish to do just what you choose to do, when, where, and how you want, without having to answer to or consult with a man? Sorry, but that is not how a partnership works. Yes, you both have your individual interests, friends that you keep company with, and freedoms, but your partner always gets top priority. This "I want to have my cake and eat it too" attitude is childish and doesn't work.
Over on the Retirement forum there are also a few threads on this topic, with some of the women also stating that they prefer to stay alone. However, there are also posts from ladies commenting that they would indeed like to re marry, but that there is a shortage of suitable available older men, the old "All the good ones are taken" complaint.
Finally, sadly, there is one word in this entire thread that has been mentioned only very sparingly.That word is Love. Marriage, close relationships, dating, and companionship, have been discussed as if they were merely a business arrangement, interviewing a prospective tenant, or agreeing to associate with each other due to a common interest. Don't men and women still marry each other, regardless of how old they may be, because they love each other? Or am I just an old sentimentalist, out of touch with the times, that believes in this?
I said earlier that I could not imagine starting over. It's not that I dislike men at all; generally we get along quite well. I've just already been through all kinds of skeletoned closets throughout our large families, family feuds, death, a significantly disabled child (which has lifetime impact), a horrendous lawsuit, health scares, money problems, remodeling a house, and so on. It took me this long just to break this man in, and the hard part is behind me. You may as well ask if I'd have another baby. I'm only 40, probably still fertile as a turtle and could have another if I wanted to. But heck no! I love my kids dearly but am not up for another round. Plus, just like 2mares, I come from a family of caregiving women. I grew up cooking and cleaning for the man of the house and impose that mindset on myself. I'd totally end up keeping house for the rest of my life.
Don't wanna.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BlackShoe
Would like to add an amusing, upbeat comment on the more than just a few, of the men and women that have absolutely, positively insisted that never, ever, under any circumstances, would they marry again, or for that matter, ever even become involved with a member of the opposite sex, even casually. They have just quit and given up, for whatever reason. Then one fine day, suddenly and without warning, in some unlikely place, they Meet Somebody. Cupid bends his bow, lets fly, and his arrow strikes home. Not all that much later, they are announcing their engagement. LOL. Now lets see, if I had just 10 bucks for every time I have seen this happen during my lifetime, where could I go on vaction, paid for with the money?
yanno, I gotta say, and this is true, and not just saying this because he is my son, but my daughter in law now works two part time jobs, all kinds of hours, so my son took 3rd shift and he cooks, cleans and does laundry for her to help ojut......so, I know there are men out there who do that, however, I was never lucky enough to find one.....lol
Did you work? Maybe your son saw what it was like for a woman to work and then have to deal with chores and get no help from a husband.
Or maybe you just raised him right.
At any rate, I'm hoping younger generations have it more together than Boomers and Gen-Xers. I'm 47. I can't bring myself to see a relationship with a Baby Boomer. My sisters are in their 50s. I see what they've dealt with. The men in their playgroup tend to be the worst offenders.
Tend to. Not always, of course.
But I just don't have the energy to weed through them. To borrow from Danny Glover, I'm too old for this chit.
OMG, OMG! Be still my heart. I can't believe it, I went to the store and, and, there he was. I met the one. I'm so happy to report, I found the perfect male specimen. I think I really am in love.
If people were as nice as dogs the world would be a better place.
If people were as nice as dogs the world would be a better place.
So true. I've loved GS, ever since I was a little girl, this was the breed, I grew up around and always loved, so I will be always be fond of them and am smitten any time I see them.
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Not all that much later, they are announcing their engagement. LOL. Now lets see, if I had just 10 bucks for every time I have seen this happen during my lifetime, where could I go on vaction, paid for with the money? 
