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Whether people will admit or not, a father and a mother both have different and individual roles to fulfill on a daily bases in a marriage and raising kids.
When one of those roles is absent or part time, the child suffers.
That's fine, but being married has nothing to do with it.
You can get mad at me and stomp your feet all you want - I know that having a stable home environment is what is best for children. I'm not just making things up.
Sexist? Because I'm pointing something out to you?
I don't really care if you respect me or not - that was never my intent in posting here. You asked a question and you don't like my answers or the answers of any of us that have actually raised a family. That's fine.
Cleary not. Your intent was to wag your finger at OP and claim some kind of superiority.
I'm not a big fan of marriage, most men I know have been burned by it and it wrecks of negativity. Not saying all marriages are a bust, but when they do go bust (and a good percentage do) it is emotionally draining.
With that said, I want to have children. Perhaps in the next 2-3 years, up until this point I was running around avoiding LTRs and now I kind of want to get into one, with the right woman for me of course.
Will it be difficult to find a woman that wants to have children without marriage? This does not mean I will just have children with her and then leave her. It means raising a family, living together, being together exclusively and growing old together. Can this be accomplished without a piece of paper?
I would suggest that if you are going to have children, you need to be married to their mother. If she one day decides that she's sick of you, you will be totally screwed as an unmarried father. She will basically have the right to cut you out of your children's lives and deny you a real influence as a parent. Well, she'll get money out of you for sure, but you won't be their father in any real sense of the word.
You're screwed either way, but at least if you are married to the mother you have a modicum of parental rights as a father. You've got none without marriage.
The prerequisite for a happy family/child is stability. And it doesn't seem that you are interested in providing stability. You seem to have a rather selfish view of having a family and many of us are trying to point that out to you.
Marriage has absolutely nothing to do with stability. This is where you fail.
Funny thing is, when I wrote something similar to the Rakin post you responded to on the Parenting forum - supporting the notion that children need a mother AND a father - I was piled on by several women.
I would suggest that if you are going to have children, you need to be married to their mother. If she one day decides that she's sick of you, you will be totally screwed as an unmarried father. She will basically have the right to cut you out of your children's lives and deny you a real influence as a parent. Well, she'll get money out of you for sure, but you won't be their father in any real sense of the word.
You're screwed either way, but at least if you are married to the mother you have a modicum of parental rights as a father. You've got none without marriage.
Wouldn't that be sick to do to children? I have seen it happen before, but women seem to get custody and then teach their kids that their father is worthless and never wants to see them, while in reality the father wants to but the ex has some court order on it to where he can't. This discussion belongs in a different thread though.
I would suggest that if you are going to have children, you need to be married to their mother. If she one day decides that she's sick of you, you will be totally screwed as an unmarried father. She will basically have the right to cut you out of your children's lives and deny you a real influence as a parent. Well, she'll get money out of you for sure, but you won't be their father in any real sense of the word.
You're screwed either way, but at least if you are married to the mother you have a modicum of parental rights as a father. You've got none without marriage.
Wow, what another ringing endorsement of marriage. "If you don't, she'll cut you out of your children's lives."
And on a related note, what a great commentary on our disgustingly biased "family" court system.
I'm not a big fan of marriage, most men I know have been burned by it and it wrecks of negativity. Not saying all marriages are a bust, but when they do go bust (and a good percentage do) it is emotionally draining.
With that said, I want to have children. Perhaps in the next 2-3 years, up until this point I was running around avoiding LTRs and now I kind of want to get into one, with the right woman for me of course.
Will it be difficult to find a woman that wants to have children without marriage? This does not mean I will just have children with her and then leave her. It means raising a family, living together, being together exclusively and growing old together. Can this be accomplished without a piece of paper?
Why do you want to have children?
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, yeah I'll have to learn how to appreciate quiet time more.