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Competing with someone you haven't spoken to in five years?
Wanting to snoop around his life to find out what his wife looks like so you can judge her?
Ranting on a message board because someone else found happiness?
Just wondering.
OP:
Please do not do this.
One of my husband's ex girlfriends was this.
She could not get over their breakup, which was in 2002.
She continuously left messages on his answering machine professing her undying love for him. Even when we were dating and after we became engaged. While the two of us were dating, he let her know that she had to stop calling him and leaving messages on his answering machine professing her undying love for him. Since he did not have caller id at that time, he had to answer every call. When she called, he let her know that she had to stop calling him. That only lasted for a couple of months.
When he let her know that we became engaged, she told him this...
You need to divorce her. She is not good enough for you. I am the only one who is supposed to marry you.
Eh. I'm human, not perfect, and not going to apologize for it.
No one expects perfection, but an adult who knows what her problems and issues are and does nothing to change them deserves what she gets in life. In your case, it appears to be denial of your dream of marriage.
She could not get over their breakup, which was in 2002.
She continuously left messages on his answering machine professing her undying love for him. Even when we were dating and after we became engaged. While the two of us were dating, he let her know that she had to stop calling him and leaving messages on his answering machine professing her undying love for him. Since he did not have caller id at that time, he had to answer every call. When she called, he let her know that she had to stop calling him. That only lasted for a couple of months.
When he let her know that we became engaged, she told him this...
You need to divorce her. She is not good enough for you. I am the only one who is supposed to marry you.
That did not stop us from getting married.
I have no intentions of contacting him.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilac110
No one expects perfection, but an adult who knows what her problems and issues are and does nothing to change them deserves what she gets in life. In your case, it appears to be denial of your dream of marriage.
You don't know what I've done to work on my "issues" and you're getting a little too judgmental and preachy for my tastes, so I'm not hearing you anymore. Bye!
Ok, let's talk about the sex issue. My ex who this thread is about is really the only person I've ever tried to have sex with. Before I met him, I knew that I was terrified of gyn exams, inserting tampons, and stuff like that, but I thought that I'd be in a different frame of mind if I were trying to have sex with someone. Well, we tried many times over the course of our 17 month relationship and while we never had intercourse, we did do other stuff that resulted in him getting off. We had other problems though that made me think that maybe he wasn't really the person I should be having sex with anyway, so I stopped trying and broke up with him.
Since I broke up with him, I've only been naked with one other guy and I told him about my issue, so he didn't try to penetrate me. We were only intimate once because he lives in another state, but we had fun and if I could've seen him more often, I probably would've tried it with him at some point.
Aside from those two, I've only told like two other guys who I've dated about my issue, so that means that the majority of the guys who I date never even find out about it because we don't get close to having sex within the 1-4 dates that we have.
Lastly, I would not expect a guy to marry me if intercourse was really important to him. Either we'd have to do it successfully before we got married or I'd have to marry someone who couldn't have intercourse or who was ok with not having it.
OK if you hear one thing I have to say, make it this -
"Fear" of penetration is NOT NORMAL.
You need to go to one of those scary gynaecologists and speak to them. They aren't all about smears and birth control, they are specialists in the mechanics of the woman and can fix whatever isn't working.
Clearly, your vagina is not working.
Instead of obsessing over something you can't change, ie your exe's marital state vs your own, how about putting that energy in to sorting out your "problem"?
It will not magically disappear when a guy licks your ear right.
I think you have one of two problems which both have the same effect -
You have a massive and irrational fear equivalent to a phobia which WILL curtail your romantic life left untreated OR
You have a physical problem (my bet) I knew a girl who could never "lose" her virginity (the hymen) because it was extra heavy duty, so every time she attempted sex or tampons it was incredibly painful. Minor surgery fixed it and then she was shagging like a champion.
You need to quit your silly little obsessions as they are distracting you from some quite serious health/emotional issues.
Get yourself right before you worry about marrying or even dating someone. The Universe is screaming at you, so listen.
Fix your vagina and the rest will take care of itself.
OK if you hear one thing I have to say, make it this -
"Fear" of penetration is NOT NORMAL.
You need to go to one of those scary gynaecologists and speak to them. They aren't all about smears and birth control, they are specialists in the mechanics of the woman and can fix whatever isn't working.
Clearly, your vagina is not working.
Instead of obsessing over something you can't change, ie your exe's marital state vs your own, how about putting that energy in to sorting out your "problem"?
It will not magically disappear when a guy licks your ear right.
I think you have one of two problems which both have the same effect -
You have a massive and irrational fear equivalent to a phobia which WILL curtail your romantic life left untreated OR
You have a physical problem (my bet) I knew a girl who could never "lose" her virginity (the hymen) because it was extra heavy duty, so every time she attempted sex or tampons it was incredibly painful. Minor surgery fixed it and then she was shagging like a champion.
You need to quit your silly little obsessions as they are distracting you from some quite serious health/emotional issues.
Get yourself right before you worry about marrying or even dating someone. The Universe is screaming at you, so listen.
Fix your vagina and the rest will take care of itself.
I take everything back I said on this thread before and agree to this statement if it isn't too late
OK if you hear one thing I have to say, make it this -
"Fear" of penetration is NOT NORMAL.
You need to go to one of those scary gynaecologists and speak to them. They aren't all about smears and birth control, they are specialists in the mechanics of the woman and can fix whatever isn't working.
Clearly, your vagina is not working.
Instead of obsessing over something you can't change, ie your exe's marital state vs your own, how about putting that energy in to sorting out your "problem"?
It will not magically disappear when a guy licks your ear right.
I think you have one of two problems which both have the same effect -
You have a massive and irrational fear equivalent to a phobia which WILL curtail your romantic life left untreated OR
You have a physical problem (my bet) I knew a girl who could never "lose" her virginity (the hymen) because it was extra heavy duty, so every time she attempted sex or tampons it was incredibly painful. Minor surgery fixed it and then she was shagging like a champion.
You need to quit your silly little obsessions as they are distracting you from some quite serious health/emotional issues.
Get yourself right before you worry about marrying or even dating someone. The Universe is screaming at you, so listen.
Fix your vagina and the rest will take care of itself.
I hear you, but like I said, I don't see how that's preventing me from getting past those first few dates when sex isn't even an issue then. That only becomes a problem once we're naked.
I think my problem is more mental than physical, but I don't really know. I've never really felt pain, but I've only ever had small, medical things inserted and that wasn't a nice feeling.
I hear you, but like I said, I don't see how that's preventing me from getting past those first few dates when sex isn't even an issue then. That only becomes a problem once we're naked.
I think my problem is more mental than physical, but I don't really know. I've never really felt pain, but I've only ever had small, medical things inserted and that wasn't a nice feeling.
I'm not saying that I don't need to work on it, but I'm saying that I don't think it's the reason why I don't get past 1-4 dates with most of the guys I go out with...unless I'm supposed to have sex with them within that timeframe. That's really the only thing I could be doing differently.
Do you mean you haven't had intercourse because the man is too Big for you? If this is the problem, a good Gynecologist can help you with this...
Having a fear of penetration does not equal "frigid". I get aroused. I have orgasms when I'm self pleasuring (sorry if that's TMI).
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hawk J
Do you mean you haven't had intercourse because the man is too Big for you? If this is the problem, a good Gynecologist can help you with this...
The gynecologist I've spoken to about it is sweet, but I don't really think she can help me. I've read lots of stuff about it and there's not much that can be done to get over the fear besides penetrating yourself with things and gradually increasing the size of the object until you can comfortably insert a PENIS.
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