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You and I are almost one in the same, right down the long term crush.
Least I know it's not just me. The only guys I really have are my infatuations. Which I will never get. I was curious how much this happened. So, I counted, and my totally of long infatuations added up to 25 guys since I was 8. Maybe more, I am still remembering some. lol
If you're shy, that needs work. Sometimes shy people are misread as cold, bitchy, or uninterested. So, it scares guys off. If a cute guy comes up and chats with you, just smile and talk normally. You don't have to flirt, or be over the top. Just chat, answer questions, ask some about him, as if you're chatting with a friend. Then if he feels confident, and that there could be something, he may ask for your number, or a date. If not, you could take a chance and ask for his number, or a date.
The idea of asking out a guy frightens me. But that's because I am not used to guys liking me back. They usually want me to get lost. However, that will slow you down. So, with dating and guys, you'll have to take a few chances, despite possible rejection.
Least I know it's not just me. The only guys I really have are my infatuations. Which I will never get. I was curious how much this happened. So, I counted, and my totally of long infatuations added up to 25 guys since I was 8. Maybe more, I am still remembering some. lol
If you're shy, that needs work. Sometimes shy people are misread as cold, bitchy, or uninterested. So, it scares guys off. If a cute guy comes up and chats with you, just smile and talk normally. You don't have to flirt, or be over the top. Just chat, answer questions, ask some about him, as if you're chatting with a friend. Then if he feels confident, and that there could be something, he may ask for your number, or a date. If not, you could take a chance and ask for his number, or a date.
The idea of asking out a guy frightens me. But that's because I am not used to guys liking me back. They usually want me to get lost. However, that will slow you down. So, with dating and guys, you'll have to take a few chances, despite possible rejection.
I don't think I'm shy anymore, just self conscious and overly self aware. I know myself too much, and I almost wish I didn't. I was way happier when I was blinded to my own flaws.
I don't have crushes all too often. They're very rare for me. But when I do, I'm usually infatuated with them until the next interesting stud comes along.
I feel like you sometimes too. I am 21, never had a boyfriend or anything like that. It bothered me so much a while ago. I see all these happy couples and I wonder when my time was going to come. Then I started talking to this guy online and we were friends for 3 years, and unfortunately I fell for him. It has been almost a year since we last spoke. It hurt so bad and I am still not completely over it.
When I think about romance or love, in general I just get a horrible sinking feeling, I won't ever have that. I try to tell myself that is just fear talking and I have plenty of time. I don't think it should be that serious. On top of that, I have everyone telling me that I am underestimating the human bond and the only thing I am missing is an intimate bond. I really just want to take my mind off of it.
It's not that I can't get anyone, I have plenty of options, and guys come up and talk to me all the time. It's just since this last one, I can't seem to like or find anyone else attractive. I have always been the one that was approached but approaching a guy is so foreign to me, and I am such a nervous person I feel so awkward when talking to new people. What I am trying to say is, you are not alone.
The only advice I can give is to try to find your own path in life, don't compare yourself to others and what they have. It'll only make things worse. That is the whole reason I got off of facebook.
Deep down all I've ever wanted was for someone to like me back, and receive love and affection from people other than my family. I don't know why I'm so aloof and difficult. I very much want to be likeable, and I'm trying to be more outgoing. Maybe it stems from childhood "bullying", but I just don't think anyone is willing to give me a chance. In high school, being single wasn't the worst thing, but now it's starting to dwell on me. I know I'm still young, but I won't be young forever.
I put a lot of time and effort into making myself "better". Whatever flaw I have/had, I do everything I possibly can to diminish it. My mother tells me I worry about things that no one cares about. But if I care about it, then someone somewhere does too! I feel truly alone, and that no one likes me anymore. I feel like a child star that aged out of their cuteness.
I was born an only child, and some of my closest relatives already have little families of their own. This almost kills me, because it brings me back into the realization that we're no longer the children we used to be. Everyone is socially growing, and becoming more mature than I am in a different sense. They know what it feels like to be desired and what it's like to have a guy genuinely like you, and I don't.
I'm not saying men aren't attracted to me, at least not the normal ones.
Are you in college? If so, you can get counseling for free. You could discuss how bullying experiences may have affected how open you are to people, among other things. When you have an option for free counseling, you should take advantage of it.
Also: ignore what anyone else is doing. Just because people are getting married and having kids too young doesn't mean you should join the lemmings rushing over the abyss. Probably some of those couples will be divorced within a few years. As you observed yourself, you need time to mature. Most people your age do. Relax, and give yourself plenty of time.
I don't think I'm shy anymore, just self conscious and overly self aware. I know myself too much, and I almost wish I didn't. I was way happier when I was blinded to my own flaws.
Ahh, ignorance is bliss. But I agree. I don't get much attention from guys. So I look at all my physical flaws. I think my waste is too big. I believe my measurements are
35
31
38.
So, yeah, big waste. And I have a lazy eye. My eyelid doesn't droop. But it's like the actress Lucy Lui. Her eye is lazy too. That's how mine is. I can't even stand looking in a mirror because it's noticeable and disgusting. I have looked into getting surgery for it though. I just need to get back with my eye doc. He said he'd check with the specialist he knew. I don't even take pix because it's quite obvious.
My mother tells me I am setting up to be disappointed because I am doing all this work and expecting instant results. I don't expect instant. Just working on my body before I change my personality some too--not a 180, but just some tweaks to it.
But if a nice-looking guy, or one you like does approach, try to be more open. He apparently liked what he was seeing. So, try to avoid pushing away when a guy does come to you. Unless you're false advertising in some way lol like stuffing your bra, or pants--for a more round butt.
I am trying to lose my waste, and enlarge my hips. My butt is lacking, but nothing I can do about that until I can afford surgery lol and that will be a while.
Quote:
I don't have crushes all too often. They're very rare for me. But when I do, I'm usually infatuated with them until the next interesting stud comes along.
Exactly like me. I like 1, totally infatuated. But I get over him. However, it's mainly because another one came long
Some of my infatuations last a few months. Others last years. Longest was 2 and a half to 3 years. My current one is heading toward 2. I liked him since June 19th of 012.
Are you in college? If so, you can get counseling for free. You could discuss how bullying experiences may have affected how open you are to people, among other things. When you have an option for free counseling, you should take advantage of it.
I honestly don't want counseling on my "bullying", because I don't even consider it traditional bullying. I was picked on for shallow reasons, and shallow things aren't real problems to me. I also hate discussing it, because I really just want it to become a distant memory.
Quote:
Also: ignore what anyone else is doing. Just because people are getting married and having kids too young doesn't mean you should join the lemmings rushing over the abyss. Probably some of those couples will be divorced within a few years. As you observed yourself, you need time to mature. Most people your age do. Relax, and give yourself plenty of time.
Who cares if they're divorced? Even if their relationship didn't last for the long run, they had someone that loved and cared for them. Maybe it didn't last, but they still had the feeling. I don't necessarily HAVE to be in a relationship, I just want someone to fricken LIKE ME! I want to feel desirable and wanted. The only people that want me are old people!! Being told that I'm attractive doesn't do anything for me if my attractiveness isn't attracting anyone. I might as well be ugly.
Deep down all I've ever wanted was for someone to like me back, and receive love and affection from people other than my family. I don't know why I'm so aloof and difficult. I very much want to be likeable, and I'm trying to be more outgoing. Maybe it stems from childhood "bullying", but I just don't think anyone is willing to give me a chance. In high school, being single wasn't the worst thing, but now it's starting to dwell on me. I know I'm still young, but I won't be young forever.
I put a lot of time and effort into making myself "better". Whatever flaw I have/had, I do everything I possibly can to diminish it. My mother tells me I worry about things that no one cares about. But if I care about it, then someone somewhere does too! I feel truly alone, and that no one likes me anymore. I feel like a child star that aged out of their cuteness.
I was born an only child, and some of my closest relatives already have little families of their own. This almost kills me, because it brings me back into the realization that we're no longer the children we used to be. Everyone is socially growing, and becoming more mature than I am in a different sense. They know what it feels like to be desired and what it's like to have a guy genuinely like you, and I don't.
I'm not saying men aren't attracted to me, at least not the normal ones.
oh gee, you are getting ancient arent you? sorry if i dont cry a river for you because you are 20 years of age and think you are an old maid now. get a grip on yourself and recognize that you are still young and have plenty of time to find someone.
remember that your first obligation is to yourself. you have to be content with who you are as a person before you can be content with someone else, and before they can be content with you. find out who you are, and then love that person. and when you do that someone else will come along and love you.
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