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Wow, is that a woman's way of saying I refuse to pay for a date at a expensive restaurant?
It's this woman's way of saying 1) I prefer that food and 2) I can't afford an expensive restaurant more than once or twice a year. I don't refuse to pay what I can afford and for me, a good quality torta and dinner in the park is a better experience than a $50 meal with fine wine in the North End.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by charolastra00
It's this woman's way of saying 1) I prefer that food and 2) I can't afford an expensive restaurant more than once or twice a year. I don't refuse to pay what I can afford and for me, a good quality torta and dinner in the park is a better experience than a $50 meal with fine wine in the North End.
Far better, IMO. But the higher end restaurants around Boston don't really impress me as being worth the money, outside of Bergamot, which is great.
Can I ask the angry men on here if you have ever gotten angry with a woman - or is this something that you are just angry at in general? I mean, have you ever told off a woman and told her that she can't pick and choose what she wants in a relationship - and that because she can vote and work that she has to pay for her dates? Has this been an issue for you in your dating life or is it something you just rant about on the internet? Just curious.
Back when I was dating, it just depended on the person I was dating. There were times when I was doing better financially than my ex - not because I was making more but just because I had money saved. We never really did things that were that expensive so it was never much of an issue. We usually took turns paying. We did fly out to see each other fairly often since one of us was usually on tour - and then sometimes we'd split the cost. The only big trips that we took were with my family, and my parents paid for both of us. If I had wanted to do something really expensive that I could afford but the guy I was dating couldn't - I simply would have paid. I do this with my friends. It's not a big deal.
Personally, when I'm in a relationship, most of the time we spend together isn't doing really expensive things - it's just spending time together. Yes, we like to splurge now and then and we probably eat out a lot - but the point of a relationship is spending time with the person - not who pays for what. That's just been my experience.
Can I ask the angry men on here if you have ever gotten angry with a woman - or is this something that you are just angry at in general? I mean, have you ever told off a woman and told her that she can't pick and choose what she wants in a relationship - and that because she can vote and work that she has to pay for her dates? Has this been an issue for you in your dating life or is it something you just rant about on the internet? Just curious.
Disagreement on something doesn't necessarily mean we're angry. Be careful not to conflate these two different descriptors. Also, just because we disagree on an issue on an anonymous forum doesn't necessarily mean we're disgruntled, confused little boys IRL. Donchya think maybe that's why we come here in the first place? Just as some of ya'll can be found on different subs ranting about topics that are close to your heart, you'll find other folks ranting/venting on topics that aren't a priority for you. I'm pretty sure that, with a thorough search, I can find where most of you have had a vent/rant about some particular topic.
Calling someone angry and confused is a defense mechanism used to deflect the issue at hand when people don't like that other people disagree with them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdroplet76
Back when I was dating, it just depended on the person I was dating. There were times when I was doing better financially than my ex - not because I was making more but just because I had money saved. We never really did things that were that expensive so it was never much of an issue. We usually took turns paying. We did fly out to see each other fairly often since one of us was usually on tour - and then sometimes we'd split the cost. The only big trips that we took were with my family, and my parents paid for both of us. If I had wanted to do something really expensive that I could afford but the guy I was dating couldn't - I simply would have paid. I do this with my friends. It's not a big deal.
It only becomes an issue when people start making broad proclamations like "Men should pay for everything". This has been said multiple times on a variety of different threads. Those are the kinds of comments that stir the pot. And then when people are called out on it, the response always seems to be the same: "Oh but I actually do split the bills". If not for these statements, then you're right; it's not a big deal.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dewdroplet76
Personally, when I'm in a relationship, most of the time we spend together isn't doing really expensive things - it's just spending time together. Yes, we like to splurge now and then and we probably eat out a lot - but the point of a relationship is spending time with the person - not who pays for what. That's just been my experience.
I think that's how it is most of the time IRL. These threads get blown out of proportion when folks make sweeping radical statements.
I mean, seriously. What do you people do that costs so much money all the time?
I am a professional and I have money. But if I were in dating circumstances, I don't see how I would be required (or inclined) to suddenly pursue a lot of activities that cost a lot of money.
Yeah, in the beginning you might have a meal or two out...but after that, why all the formal hoo ha that costs tons of money? That's not organic at all, and frankly, that would simply bore me.
I get to know someone by spending time with them pursuing regular activities, just hanging out, TALKING, etc.
What are y'all doing that is so damn expensive that you have to get all butt hurt about who is paying, etc?
I would agree with this 100%. But IME, the guy is initiating dates 99% of the time. For women, this is some sort of self-validation process (if he likes me, then he asks me out). Therefore, this ends up always falling on the guy.
In this scenario what difference does it make? If its the guy initiating he takes his date where he can afford. If she prefers to go somewhere else, she assumes to bill. Normally this 99% is the FIRST date anyway. It seems to me after that in the majority of dating couples its back and forth.
There is no law stating a guy has to initiate so just don't. Be like woman and sit back and wait to be asked out. If you aren't getting any attention I'm sure we can come up with a list that will make you more attractive.
I mean, seriously. What do you people do that costs so much money all the time?
I am a professional and I have money. But if I were in dating circumstances, I don't see how I would be required (or inclined) to suddenly pursue a lot of activities that cost a lot of money.
Yeah, in the beginning you might have a meal or two out...but after that, why all the formal hoo ha that costs tons of money? That's not organic at all, and frankly, that would simply bore me.
I get to know someone by spending time with them pursuing regular activities, just hanging out, TALKING, etc.
What are y'all doing that is so damn expensive that you have to get all butt hurt about who is paying, etc?
You're missing the point. Do you need me to re-explain the issue at hand?
There is no law stating a guy has to initiate so just don't. Be like woman and sit back and wait to be asked out. If you aren't getting any attention I'm sure we can come up with a list that will make you more attractive.
I already have plenty of attractive qualities IRL, so I don't need your help. It does not matter either way. Women do not initiate the majority of first dates. Therefore, it's very easy to declare who spends the money when you're not paying the bills.
But yeah, once a relationship gets going, I think it is more back and forth.
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