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I'm was talking about intimacy means for me, but what the word means in general. Intimacy isn't about walks or dinners.
Excuse me, but you're wrong. Intimacy encompasses a whole slew of characteristics with a general theme, but most of which are defined by the individual. Kissing and taking a walk in the park with my mate ARE intimate moments for me.
And you can't seem to stick to the particular points I originally brought up, so I don't see any benefit in discussing this further with you. If you're confused, go back to post #62 and start there.
I'm was talking about intimacy means for me, but what the word means in general. Intimacy isn't about walks or dinners.
And no one said or implied that you should be intimate with just anyone. Ever.
But good dodge.
So you went into the city, did a race, and had no one interested and that is confirmation for you that you're not desirable? Jesus. I've never chatted up anyone at any race I've done. Means nothing.
There's just no getting through to you is there? Desirable? No. Disinterested, yes.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,989,150 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lafleur
Excuse me, but you're wrong. Intimacy encompasses a whole slew of characteristics with a general theme, but most of which are defined by the individual.
Excuse me. I'm not. You might want to use the dictionary.
There's just no getting through to you is there? Desirable? No. Disinterested, yes.
Why would they be interested in a dude that shows up from outside the city to just run in a 5k?
What did you do to generate interest? Just be there and make some small talk? It's kind of a preposterous position. If that was my criteria for women being disinterested in me then I've never had a woman interested in me.
a close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person or group.
an amorously familiar act. - I wonder if they mean like kissing and holding hands.
sexual intercourse.
You were saying, Webster? Everything I described as what I consider intimate moments could fall under these definitions. Do you want to go off on any more tangents, or would you like to get back to the original points I brought up?
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,989,150 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lafleur
a close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person or group.
an amorously familiar act.
sexual intercourse.
You were saying, Webster? Everything I described as what I consider intimate moments could fall under these definitions.
Only sex falls under it, and I never said it didn't.
But walks, dinners, etc are not intimacy per the definition.
It is about the feeling. The closeness. Not the walks. The dinners. Those aren't "intimate moments". They're moments with intimacy if there is closeness. I could go out for a walk tonight or have dinner tonight with a stranger just as you mention. It wouldn't be intimate because there is no intimacy, no closeness, no emotion.
So yes, you're wrong.
And your other points are just dodges. There is no reason for you NOT to have intimacy, unless you don't want to (aside from the sex). I would hope you have some intimacy in your life already, but perhaps you don't see it. Even when I wasn't having sex when I was single, there was no shortage of it.
Only sex falls under it, and I never said it didn't.
But walks, dinners, etc are not intimacy per the definition.
It is about the feeling. The closeness. Not the walks. The dinners. Those aren't "intimate moments". They're moments with intimacy if there is closeness. I could go out for a walk tonight or have dinner tonight with a stranger just as you mention. It wouldn't be intimate because there is no intimacy, no closeness, no emotion.
So yes, you're wrong.
Let's get super technical now to make it seem like I have a valid point. C'mon man. This is lame. Your arguments are lame.
The problem with some of the posters here is that this is all about looking awesome on the Internet and giving the impression that you're an expert on a subject. You're clearly not, so stop portraying yourself as having the definitive answers to these questions. If you have suggestions that have worked for you, sure, I welcome them. But if you just want to toot your own horn and act like we live in a binary world, then don't bother me with that nonsense.
Why would they be interested in a dude that shows up from outside the city to just run in a 5k?
What did you do to generate interest? Just be there and make some small talk? It's kind of a preposterous position. If that was my criteria for women being disinterested in me then I've never had a woman interested in me.
Whatever. I have seen this same behavior from women for nearly twenty years. Clearly we are at an impasse. As you have had interest from women you cannot understand my prospective.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,989,150 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lafleur
The problem with some of the posters here is that this is all about looking awesome on the Internet and giving the impression that you're an expert on a subject. You're clearly not, so stop portraying yourself as having the definitive answers to these questions. If you have suggestions that have worked for you, sure, I welcome them. But if you just want to toot your own horn and act like we live in a binary world, then don't bother me with that nonsense.
Did I ever say I was an expert? No. Did I ever imply it? No. I'm really pretty lousy at relationships as can be seen by my current one being in a tailspin.
My suggestion to you is to change your attitude as that is clearly what is holding you back. If you're in shape, dress decently, have a job (doesn't need to be high paying) live in a population of any size, can hold a conversation and are interesting even a little bit you can easily have success in dating. Everything else is between your ears. It IS that simple.
But hey, ignore me and the many other posters that will tell you the exact same thing, we're all wrong.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jma501
Whatever. I have seen this same behavior from women for nearly twenty years. Clearly we are at an impasse. As you have had interest from women you cannot understand my prospective.
I rarely have interest from women without working to generate it. Even then it is hit or miss.
Everything else is between your ears. It IS that simple.
You make it seem like it's all me that's at the source of my failures. Well guess what? I've been trying more so than ever before in my life. I put myself out there. I joined Meetup groups. I joined OKC. I lost 20 lbs and toned up a bit. I bought some new clothes.
This last girl I was seeing, I did EVERYTHING I could to do it right. I took her out for a nice dinner, we had good conversations, we went to the movies, we went to have drinks at a microbrewery, I bought her a flower for one date, I made her laugh on a number of occasions, we kissed several times. This happened all over the course of the last few weeks. And now she has completely flaked out!
This kind of crap has been going on for the past six months or so with various girls whom I dated. This is NOT just what's between my ears. There are circumstances well out of my control at play here. I just don't know what the hell they are, hence the obvious frustration I'm dealing with.
Did I ever say I was an expert? No. Did I ever imply it? No. I'm really pretty lousy at relationships as can be seen by my current one being in a tailspin.
My suggestion to you is to change your attitude as that is clearly what is holding you back. If you're in shape, dress decently, have a job (doesn't need to be high paying) live in a population of any size, can hold a conversation and are interesting even a little bit you can easily have success in dating. Everything else is between your ears. It IS that simple.
But hey, ignore me and the many other posters that will tell you the exact same thing, we're all wrong.
I rarely have interest from women without working to generate it. Even then it is hit or miss.
Now you are making staying alone seem a pleasurable alternative.
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