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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,981,862 times
Reputation: 40635
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jma501
I live in the country. I have never known providence to be what you describe unless you are a college student. I do know a risd photography professor though. We occasionally go to NYC on photo shoots/gallery tours. You seem to be a lucky individual.
I'm not lucky at all. I'm rather socially inept, an introvert, and don't make relationships easily.
Why are you in the country? That's no place to live for a young single person. Get to where there is some action going on. Providence has a great nightlife. I personally love AS220, but there used to be a cool warehouse music scene in Olneyville as well with many smoking babes.
I'm not lucky at all. I'm rather socially inept, an introvert, and don't make relationships easily.
Why are you in the country? That's no place to live for a young single person. Get to where there is some action going on. Providence has a great nightlife. I personally love AS220, but there used to be a cool warehouse music scene in Olneyville as well with many smoking babes.
I am not young. I am 45. As for the nightlife, people are getting stabbed and shot almost nightly at the clubs. Providence is nothing like it used to be. You couldn't pay me to be there late at night. Except at PPAC or Trinity Rep. theaters. Clearly you are lucky. Just because women are interested in you doesn't mean they are interested in everyone. I know they are clearly disinterested in me.
I don't know. I'm an introvert, but still, going out and meeting new people and talking to them, even if it leads no where, is almost always fun. I hope you learn to enjoy dating.
I think you're confusing two different concepts. Being single can be fun. I'm an introvert, too. You know what one of my favorite activities is? Riding my bicycle 70 miles along the Rocky Mountain front range by myself. Yep, just me and my bike; that's all I need.
However, human beings are generally social creatures who demand a certain level of intimacy in their lives. You mentioned earlier about the miseries of being a 30 y/o virgin. Or how you had plenty of sex and dating in the three years you were single. So clearly you understand the importance of having intimacy in your life. Well, I'm not one of these FWB advocates. Therefore, the intimacy I do partake in I'd prefer to be with someone I'm in a relationship with.
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
Who said anything about being alone? You can be single and not alone. Is it great when I have a SO to share things with? Sure. Is is fine when I don't? Sure, I share them with friends.
People that "need" someone else to feel fulfilled in life are just setting themselves up for disappointment and pain.
I am completely happy with myself. At 29, I've done more in my life than most of my family or friends have. But again, this is not about being happy with who I am as a person. It's about having intimacy in my life and having someone to share that with. You're a hypocrite if you say otherwise, Mr. I Banged a Bunch of Chicks Over the Last Three Years.
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
You're right. You have the right to want to be miserable. Feel free. You'll likely be miserable until you're ok with, and even happy with, being single (not alone).
What an inconsiderate and rude thing to say. I don't want to be miserable, nor did I ever say that. This is a straw man argument if I ever saw one. If you can't respond to something I say without being a complete jerk, don't respond.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,981,862 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by jma501
I am not young. I am 45. As for the nightlife, people are getting stabbed and shot almost nightly at the clubs. Providence is nothing like it used to be. You couldn't pay me to be there late at night. Except at PPAC or Trinity Rep. theaters.
Oh jeez. I'm 43 and I'm in Providence once a month or so to see bands. I have no idea what you're talking about. It's cool as heck. I considered moving there, and still might, but the commute to my new office would be long.
But hey, good luck. Women want to go out with dudes that aren't scared and want to have fun. Hard to do that if you're scared about going out in a city, IMO.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,981,862 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lafleur
I am completely happy with myself. I've done more in my life than most of my family or friends have. But again, this is not about being happy with who I am as a person. It's about having intimacy in my life and having someone to share that with. You're a hypocrite if you say otherwise, Mr. I Banged a Bunch of Chicks Over the Last Three Years.
Who said anything about banging a bunch of chicks? I didn't "bang" anyone. Who said anything about not having intimacy?
Talk about a straw man. You can have sex and intimacy without being in a LTR.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lafleur
What an inconsiderate and rude thing to say. I don't want to be miserable, nor did I ever say that. This is a straw man argument if I ever saw one. If you can't respond to something I say without being a complete jerk, don't respond.
Pot meet kettle. If you can't take it, don't dish it.
That depends on your definition of fun. If you're going on several dates with the same person, sharing intimate moments with them over time, hooking up with them, I agree; that can be fun. Going on a bunch of first dates that lead to nothing, however, is tormenting and lame.
But the point of dating and going on first dates is to a.) have a good time and b.) see if there's potential for something further. A lot of times there isn't, and that's just how it goes. You're sounding like once you ask a woman out, it should be a sure thing rather than a trial run.
Who said anything about banging a bunch of chicks? I didn't "bang" anyone.
Let me take you back to a comment you made literally within the last 15 minutes.
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
And being single is very different than not getting dates or remaining a 30 yo virgin. I'm not single now, but I was the last three years. That was fine, I wasn't looking for a relationship (the one I'm in just happened) but there was loads of dates and plenty of sex in those three years.
Does that ring a bell? Maybe a "bunch of chicks" isn't accurate, but the point was that you shared a lot of intimate moments with other people, so there is some credence in the idea that people generally require a certain level of intimacy in their lives.
The reason you have to be happy with yourself is not because women require it but because no matter what you're going to fail a **** load.
I'm starting to think a major issue with dating 27+ is that everyone is trying to find a perfect match however everyone is 27+! Everyone is very complicated with a wide range of experiences at this point... Most LTR type people are in LTR's. You simply just can't be a great person and show interest anymore. You have to be an entertainer / player and then it ends when the click ends.
But the point of dating and going on first dates is to a.) have a good time and b.) see if there's potential for something further. A lot of times there isn't, and that's just how it goes. You're sounding like once you ask a woman out, it should be a sure thing rather than a trial run.
Your interpretation of how I sound is not accurate. All I'm saying (and what I literally said in my post) is that it's tormenting and lame, aka frustrating.
Yeah, going on first dates and meeting people can be fun. I like to meet people and find out about them. But let's keep the end goal (for most of us) in mind. That's having a long term relationship. I know I'm not the only one who feels that dating (like job hunting) can be kind of a PITA if you're not successful in meeting your goal.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,981,862 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lafleur
Does that ring a bell? Maybe a "bunch of chicks" isn't accurate, but the point was that you shared a lot of intimate moments with other people, so there is some credence in the idea that people generally require a certain level of intimacy in their lives.
Yes, rings a bell. It wasn't "banging a bunch of chicks" or anything like that. That's an insulting term to me and the women in my, and have been in my, life.
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