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Is it really possible for a guy to wantto marry a mother who is busy raising young children? Is it too much to ask or expect a man to share a woman with her children if she is their only caregiver & has no family to help or give her time alone with him on a consistent basis? Is that fair? Do you think that such a man exists that is capable of feeling a fatherly bond with a child who is not his regardless of the age and be willing to care for & about him in a similar way? Perhaps a stranger question, how likely is a white guy able to accept a women with 2 mixed children & does that have any influence over his decision to be with her in a serious/lifelong relationship? Would he feel awkward accepting them too equally? I know this is really dependent on the man himself but I am just starting to wonder if my situation in itself means that I should just expect that if I am to ever find "the one" it will be more likely to happen after my children have grown up? Lastly, is it fair to say that most men steer clear of women who have had a lot of trouble in her life, even if she remains kind & loving despite it all? Like I said all strange questions but I am interested in hearing helpful thoughts. Please keep all ignorant remarks to yourself. Thank you.
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Originally Posted by Samara7915
My kids both go to a good private school, I own my own home & my kids will always have what they need because I will always work hard so that they won't do without.
I am assuming that you are a good financial provider for yourself and your children. Don't mean to sound insensitive, perhaps you are saying that you won't be a financial burden to your potential husband? If this is the case, no, it is not too much to expect him to share you with your children. You need to provide for your children. Perhaps you are saying that you can no longer contribute financially to the new family if you do get married in the future? It looks like you and your children are doing just fine financially. So I don't believe money is going to be an issue in the future.
It looks like you are only looking for a white man to date. Like I posted earlier, if he is a grounded confident man, helping you raise two mixed children shouldn't be a problem. A lot of people are doing just that.
A guy my sister dated told her this before they broke up "You sure have slept with the colors of rainbow." Race and color still matter in our society. There is nothing we can do to change that. If the person judges you based on your past, he won't be the one for you anyway. So no worries.
Good luck to you and I hope you will find a white man very soon.
Ok, so, I'm just curious but I'm interested in hearing from single mothers and men who might have some experience with this. To begin, let me first say that I realize that there are some men who would never date a single mother for various reasons & I also know there are a lot of guys (mostly younger but not always) out there who just don't want to deal with kids or the "inconvenience"... but I am not talking about them. So here are my questions for you all...
Is it really possible for a guy to want to marry a mother who is busy raising young children? Is it too much to ask or expect a man to share a woman with her children if she is their only caregiver & has no family to help or give her time alone with him on a consistent basis? Is that fair? Do you think that such a man exists that is capable of feeling a fatherly bond with a child who is not his regardless of the age and be willing to care for & about him in a similar way? Perhaps a stranger question, how likely is a white guy able to accept a women with 2 mixed children & does that have any influence over his decision to be with her in a serious/lifelong relationship? Would he feel awkward accepting them too equally? I know this is really dependent on the man himself but I am just starting to wonder if my situation in itself means that I should just expect that if I am to ever find "the one" it will be more likely to happen after my children have grown up? Lastly, is it fair to say that most men steer clear of women who have had a lot of trouble in her life, even if she remains kind & loving despite it all? Like I said all strange questions but I am interested in hearing helpful thoughts. Please keep all ignorant remarks to yourself. Thank you.
My Brother is one of those guys, he was dating a gal that had one daughter and her father was white.
Then they had their daughter and her father is white (my Brother) but they never married or lived together.
Both girls are my Nieces and have been since the oldest was right about 2 years old, she is no different than her sister who is technically my blood Niece.
There are men like that out there, unfortunately they are tough to find but as far as anyone's decision to pursue a woman with children or not, that is purely their decision and no one could even venture to guess where those men might be located geographically.
He could be the guy living down the street in the brownstone but you just haven't met him yet.
Here's a suggestion for the OP, dress up and go to your high school or college reunion. One of my co-workers is Hispanic and a single mom of two kids. She's about 32 years old. Over the summer, she met up with someone she knew as a teenager. It was at a family gathering. They hadn't seen each other for ten years. He's older than she is, about 40 years old and without kids. He likes her children and doesn't want kids of his own. He owns a barber shop. Anyway, they are getting married in a few weeks.
What helped make the love match was him being an old family friend, having similar backgrounds, having family/friend connections, same religion and them remembering how good looking they were when they were younger. And btw he is Hispanic.
So perhaps the OP could see if any of her former classmates is single and has done well in life, then look them up.
I would have to agree with you. I've known many white guys think this way. Many of them asked me if I have ever slept with a black man (I've never done that) They always say "It is okay if you did." I doubt it is really okay if I did.
from what Ive often heard most white guys or non black guys are not interested in dating a woman that has slept with black men or has half black kids, it's almost a tabboo.
so the woman usually ends up only dating black men, even if the woman is not black, because the black men are usually the only ones that would want them.
from what Ive often heard most white guys or non black guys are not interested in dating a woman that has slept with black men or has half black kids, it's almost a tabboo.
so the woman usually ends up only dating black men, even if the woman is not black, because the black men are usually the only ones that would want them.
Not politically correct for you to say, but I would have to agree with you and I certainly don't judge these white folks.
I personally won't go for somebody who have slept with the rainbow for different reasons other than race. I would think "How can I measure up?" lol
I have very recent experience with this. I recently broke up with a divorced mother who I thought I was going to marry. She has a 4 year old daughter and was previously married to a man from Lebanon. The Father is out of the picture (and out of the country). Horrible choice of who she married, but thats beside the point. I was prepared to raise her daughter as my own and have another child with her. We broke up, but it had nothing to do with her daughter, who I adored. I used to steer clear of single mothers, but am much more open to it now. Ideally, she would have only one child and want another, but would consider a woman with 2 children, depending on the circumstances. So it is possible. As for some of your other questions, I'm not sure. Could be a deal breaker, but maybe not.
I am sorry to hear things did not work out with your ex. I know it too can be difficult for the man when those relationships end because often a bond does form between the man & the child so it can feel like a bit of a double loss. I'm glad to hear something good came out of it though. Generally speaking, I think that being somewhat openminded can absolutely open up opportunities in life one might never have thought possible. I appreciate your response & good luck to you.
from what Ive often heard most white guys or non black guys are not interested in dating a woman that has slept with black men or has half black kids, it's almost a tabboo.
so the woman usually ends up only dating black men, even if the woman is not black, because the black men are usually the only ones that would want them.
I think that it's less having slept with black men and more about what kind of culture they were from. If those black men were bad boys from the streets, the kind that refuse to marry their baby mommas, then that would be a problem for a non-black guy with a college education. But if the former black boyfriend was a college graduate and with a career, then it's no big deal.
It's about avoiding relationships with people who are prone to making poor life choices and/or a tendency to personal dramas that potential s/o want to stay away from.
Are you a man or a woman? Women who leave the name(s) of their children off of the birth certificates (and who know who the fathers are) are just trying to scam the welfare system. The baby daddys need to support the children they help to make.
from what Ive often heard most white guys or non black guys are not interested in dating a woman that has slept with black men or has half black kids, it's almost a tabboo.
so the woman usually ends up only dating black men, even if the woman is not black, because the black men are usually the only ones that would want them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilyflower3191981
Not politically correct for you to say, but I would have to agree with you and I certainly don't judge these white folks.
I personally won't go for somebody who have slept with the rainbow for different reasons other than race. I would think "How can I measure up?" lol
Not politically correct but completely wrong to say and not even remotely close to the truth.
It's a shame, one cannot fix racism but they can sure demonstrate it.
Where in the world do you come up with these ideas?
Do you even know anyone who is a different race than white?
Do you have friends that a different race than white?
Do you understand there are a lot of "white" people who have black grandparents or great grandparents or great great grandparents but they just happen to be the "white" skin tone side of the family.
Maybe they are concerned that statistics show that black men are exponentially more likely to have HIV? Of course, it's practically racist to even say that, but statistics are statistics.
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