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Some of the things these guys post here never cease to amaze me. Are there really that many clueless men out there? There are a lot of other ways to spice things up besides a threesome. Yep, not surprised at all she's not speaking to you.
Some of the things these guys post here never cease to amaze me. Are there really that many clueless men out there? There are a lot of other ways to spice things up besides a threesome. Yep, not surprised at all she's not speaking to you.
So after 6 years things have gone slow?
What are you gonna do after 15? Suggest a gang bang?
you have not done much wrong. In a relationship we _should_ be able to discuss alternatives and scenarios that interest us. Then the other person can consider it - and either accept it or refuse. The reaction she gave to you merely suggesting it is pretty bad.
However what is questionable is that you approached a third person _before_ approaching your partner on the subject.
As for what to do? Acknowledge what you did wrong - apologize for it - but suggest that a part of any healthy relationship is to be able to discuss these things.
Wow, you went about this as badly as one possibly can. First off has your girl even ever expressed any interest in a threesome? I'm guessing not. If thats the case you have to first lay the groundwork and get her kind of intrigued whether its dirty talk during sex, threesome porn, and ask her is that something she thinks is hot or woudl consider. You have to first lay that groundwork.
Next thing, you shouldnot be the one picking people unless your wife asks you to, this makes it seem like you have been wanting to bang so and so for a while and here's your chance. Always let the woman pick the person unless they tell you to and even then tread carefully.
Also sounds lik you went behind your wifes back and talked to this women at work before even suggeting this to your wife.
Game not recognized.
Lastly from a relationship perspective you shouldn't have a threesome to spice things up or fix things, it has to be something both parties are into and find hot from teh beginning, it sounds like your sex life is already bad so your wife knows this isn't about a hot thing you two can do together, your just finding an excuse and an acceptable way to bang your coworker.
My partner and I have been together for 6 years and we have a 1 year old son. Things are not so good when it comes to sex since the baby was born, which is natural. She's more worried, more tired and I understand all of that.
So to spice things up, I approached a female colleague at work regarding a threesome. I know she's very frisky and would go along with it. She immediately said that she was up for it.
So I thought we could leave our son with the grandparents for the weekend so we could have fun all the 3 of us.
When I told my partner about it, she went mad. She said she couldn't believe I was suggesting such a thing, that I have no respect for her and that it's a disgusting idea. Then I told her that if she preferred we could have an escort instead of a woman I know if she feels more comfortable. She said she just couldn't recognise me and that went away.
We haven't spoken in these past few days. I've tried to speak with her again but she avoids me.
I mean, I thought it was a good idea to improve things in bed. I couldn't imagine she would be so prudish. I've tried this with a previous girlfriend and it didn't change a thing.
What should I do?
Pack your bags and move out, because if I were in her shoes, I'd have burned all your belongings by now.
You've obviously been with this coworker before or you wouldn't know how frisky she is, and now you've also accused the mother of your child of being a prude.
OP, your diagnosis of the problem seems to be that things need "spicing up". That contradicts your statement that your wife is too tired and too concerned with the baby to have sex. This is your problem; your wife is exhausted from a year of taking care of an infant at all hours, 24/7, and you're using that as an excuse to have threesomes. Naturally she's shocked and bewildered. It's not a "spicing up" problem, it's just a first-baby problem. Things should begin to normalize as the baby starts sleeping through the night, AND after your wife catches up on her sleep.
If you really wanted to help and get things a little back on track, you could have suggested getting a nanny. But I suggest you start simply by communicating with your wife. Ask how you can help. Then do what she says.
Precisely. OP doesn't even know how to take care of his own kid at a year old. I feel sorry for the wife.
OP- you said your last girlfriend was into it, doesnt mean THIS girlfriend is or will be forever.
She had a baby, shes tired, grumpy, feels ugly, has formula/breastmilk/milk on her, has been pooped/peed and puked on, shes likely not showered, really wants a break........and YOU want a 3 way.
Telling her sorry wont do any good, you need to SHOW her youre sorry. No, not stupid flowers, candy and gifts. Man up. Grow up. Stop watching porn if you are (because im willing to bet this idea didnt pop out of thin air). Commit to ONLY HER.
Who wants to wager the last girlfriend IS the coworker?
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