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Physical beauty is all that matters for men, when it comes to initial attraction. 80+% of men can tell if a woman would be a suitable partner, by simply looking at her picture. Only 30% of women can do the same. There is nothing creepy or rapey about a man finding a woman beautiful and approaching her. The age difference dilemma, is only an issue in your head caused by severe social conditioning and Sexual Dysmorphia.
I'm 18 years old; my sexual drive is as good as it gets. However, that doesn't change the fact that men who are above 40 (or 25 for that matter) are not sexually attractive to me. Why? Because there is no desire to be intimate with someone who is of the same age as many men I've looked up (i.e. professors, father figures, male relatives). There's an "ick" factor (I think sigmund freud had a theory about this), not because they're older, but because I associate older men with these individuals. That is why there is no sexual chemistry there.
Physical beauty is all that matters for men, when it comes to initial attraction. 80+% of men can tell if a woman would be a suitable partner, by simply looking at her picture. Only 30% of women can do the same. There is nothing creepy or rapey about a man finding a woman beautiful and approaching her. The age difference dilemma, is only an issue in your head caused by severe social conditioning and Sexual Dysmorphia.
Huh? what planet is this logic from? There is nothing wrong with finding a woman beautiful but there is something wrong with men who just look at photos and think "I want her and won't stop until I get her". When I did online the amount of "you're hot" messages I got from inappropriate men was astounding but going by this logic I should have gone out with the 60+ men, the men who lived thousands of miles away, the men with vastly different culture and religious views, and not to mention all the married men who just wanted sex.
Ashleyga I just have a hard time being so blunt, especially with people who are genuinely nice. I mean, if it was a loser who smacked my ass, of course I would have no issue with it.
when people like this man, who should know better, does something like this, all you have to do is say, No, sorry. And walk away, or just walk away, why is it you feel like you need to be nice to him? Never mind, I was the same way, at an even much older age....lol
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But when someone is being nice, I have difficulty being brutally honest, which is obviously a big character flaw.
I think all young women, feel like you do, as you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings...but think about this, what if, he were someone like a rapist, or a person who would kidnap you and sell you to slave trade....be very careful out there, and when a stranger approaches you like that, you don't have to give him any information....we Americans are so naieve.
You don't have to be rude, your allowed to choose your tone of voice, and/or simply turn around and ignore his questions....don't give out information about yourself.
I'm 18 years old; my sexual drive is as good as it gets. However, that doesn't change the fact that men who are above 40 (or 25 for that matter) are not sexually attractive to me. Why? Because there is no desire to be intimate with someone who is of the same age as many men I've looked up (i.e. professors, father figures, male relatives). There's an "ick" factor (I think sigmund freud had a theory about this), not because they're older, but because I associate older men with these individuals. That is why there is no sexual chemistry there.
I think if you ponder in the way you describe, there is an "ick" factor. but you also have to realize, the base line in thinking is different for all people. Including young women. Not all women think like you. And for many, yes, there might be "issues" such as an absent father figure, etc, as to why a young beautiful woman might be attracted to an older man. AKA daddy issues. BUT, we all have arrived at where we are, and gained our preferences from a wide variety of issues. That's what makes us human. If for some younger women, it gives them a sense of security, meaning and passion dating an older man, why should anyone judge this?
I fell madly in love at age 40 with a 24 year old college student was as beautiful as any woman can be. She could have had any guy she wanted. She pursued me and I fought it hard based on the age thing. She would not quit and not give up until I finally realized this girl was real and she was madly in love with me and wise beyond her years. It was the most passionate, amazing experience in a relationship of all my life. We were crazy for each other and it showed in all walks of our relationship. Why should your type of thinking be able to take that away from us? I understand your feelings, but to each his or her own, you know?
I agree, some men over 40, hitting on a girl of only 18, is messed up, but once you hit 23-25 and have more relationship and life skills experience, your views on this could change. Also, not all us 40-42 year old men are old and nasty. I can keep up physically and mentally better then 99% of men half my age. Also, what we lose in some areas, we can more then make up for in others. Think about it.
I think if you ponder in the way you describe, there is an "ick" factor. but you also have to realize, the base line in thinking is different for all people. Including young women. Not all women think like you. And for many, yes, there might be "issues" such as an absent father figure, etc, as to why a young beautiful woman might be attracted to an older man. AKA daddy issues. BUT, we all have arrived at where we are, and gained our preferences from a wide variety of issues. That's what makes us human. If for some younger women, it gives them a sense of security, meaning and passion dating an older man, why should anyone judge this?
I fell madly in love at age 40 with a 24 year old college student was as beautiful as any woman can be. She could have had any guy she wanted. She pursued me and I fought it hard based on the age thing. She would not quit and not give up until I finally realized this girl was real and she was madly in love with me and wise beyond her years. It was the most passionate, amazing experience in a relationship of all my life. We were crazy for each other and it showed in all walks of our relationship. Why should your type of thinking be able to take that away from us? I understand your feelings, but to each his or her own, you know?
I agree, some men over 40, hitting on a girl of only 18, is messed up, but once you hit 23-25 and have more relationship and life skills experience, your views on this could change. Also, not all us 40-42 year old men are old and nasty. I can keep up physically and mentally better then 99% of men half my age. Also, what we lose in some areas, we can more then make up for in others. Think about it.
Lol, no doubt there are plenty of 40 year old men and women who are much hotter than I am. Like I said, I don't think I'm better than anyone, here. Older men can definitely be desirable to people of all ages.
I, personally, don't feel that way. Some girls do -- I can acknowledge that. As long as they're 18, they're adults and can make their own choices. It's a free world.
My only objection has been that if I'm having a nice conversation with an older gentleman, it throws me off when it takes a different course, in their eyes. I feel like, when there is that much of an age gap, and I'm not showing you any signs of interests or flirtation -- perhaps, there should be more reservation in being so forward. Of course I do not control the actions of others, so I will not go about my life with the expectation that men will know this, and instead, will politely deflect such advances.
No hostility or ill-feelings towards older guys -- I've mentioned it plenty of times, I think they're great.
Lol, no doubt there are plenty of 40 year old men and women who are much hotter than I am. Like I said, I don't think I'm better than anyone, here. Older men can definitely be desirable to people of all ages.
I, personally, don't feel that way. Some girls do -- I can acknowledge that. As long as they're 18, they're adults and can make their own choices. It's a free world.
My only objection has been that if I'm having a nice conversation with an older gentleman, it throws me off when it takes a different course, in their eyes. I feel like, when there is that much of an age gap, and I'm not showing you any signs of interests or flirtation -- perhaps, there should be more reservation in being so forward. Of course I do not control the actions of others, so I will not go about my life with the expectation that men will know this, and instead, will politely deflect such advances.
No hostility or ill-feelings towards older guys -- I've mentioned it plenty of times, I think they're great.
Well, you're thinking and feelings on this subject, honestly, are where they should be. I'm simply trying to point out that at 18 and say 40 something, that is creepy. But in my experience, SOME women in their mid twenties, can affectively and happily date a man at say 40-ish. And often times it can work.
If I ran into you at age 18 and from what you describe of yourself, there is no way in heck the conversation would lead anywhere outside just friendly and informative, etc. No way I'd hit on you. If you were 25 and seemed flirtatious, maybe, but even then, it would have to really be a unique situation. I think the OP you wrote about in THAT particular situation was a bit disgusting on the man's part.
I'm 18 years old; my sexual drive is as good as it gets. However, that doesn't change the fact that men who are above 40 (or 25 for that matter) are not sexually attractive to me. Why? Because there is no desire to be intimate with someone who is of the same age as many men I've looked up (i.e. professors, father figures, male relatives). There's an "ick" factor (I think sigmund freud had a theory about this), not because they're older, but because I associate older men with these individuals. That is why there is no sexual chemistry there.
.. and that opinion is perfectly normal! Don't let the older horny dudes here confuse you.
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just saw this, thanks!
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