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Is it selfish to not want a dog when you know you can't give it the care it needs? House plants? No, of course not! That's called being smart. Why people apply the selfish line to little human beings is beyond me
If youre not 100% on board with having a baby then don't do it.... Even if it unfortunately means letting this woman go.
If selfishness is being concerned with one's own interests, then there is nothing wrong with being selfish. You are lucky enough to know the path you want, and how to get there. the alternative is not in your self interest.
Someday, when your career is at a comfortable place, you might change your mind.
No, not at all. I also never wanted children. It took me quite a while, but I found someone I am compatible with so I think you can too. Just stand your ground and don't let anyone try and guilt trip you into changing your mind if this is really what you want. I found OLD helped a lot and was very effective as it allowed me to filter ones who wanted kids and those who did not.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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I will give you the upmost respect for being straight with your girlfriend on this topic. I don't think you are selfish at all. You obviously have a passion you are committed to and if that passion overrides wanting to have a family there is nothing wrong with that. I think you should go ahead and put your relationship out of its misery. I think your girlfriend was wrong to call you selfish when you were up front with her on your feelings.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,753,896 times
Reputation: 41381
Quote:
Originally Posted by gentlearts
If selfishness is being concerned with one's own interests, then there is nothing wrong with being selfish. You are lucky enough to know the path you want, and how to get there. the alternative is not in your self interest.
Someday, when your career is at a comfortable place, you might change your mind.
Really there is nothing more demeaning as a childfree person than the "you might change your mind" phrase. Apparently we cannot be trusted to know our own desires and be committed to them, ride or die, like the parent population.
How can you be selfish when you're living your life vision? You two have different visions. So, she either has a kid without you, or you just simply end the relationship. I favor the latter of the two.
It's selfish to be in a relationship with a woman who wants children when you would have known before your first date that you are never having children. Why has this gone on for two years?
Perhaps I didn't make it clear in the original post. At the end of the original post, I stated when we started dating, I told her the truth. And she accepted it without a problem. However, she's had a change of heart recently.
You better make sure you are very careful and that no accidents happen then. I hope you have already been protecting yourself and no simply relying on the other party to do so.
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