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The lack of communication in your marriage is a huge problem, which you already know.
Keep in mind, that may just be her excuse for getting caught. It's not uncommon for people like that to turn the issue around to the innocent party.
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FOUR YEARS
I'm not just pissed about the cheating it's the fact that she had to go to my friend instead of telling me about how she felt about my sex.
Yes, that part seems especially immature. She should have been having that conversation with you. What are the ages of you, your wife, and your friend?
yes, that part seems especially immature. She should have been having that conversation with you. What are the ages of you, your wife, and your friend?
Have you sought therapy for the sexual abuse? That issue is never going to go away on its own. It's going to be "in there."
I feel so sad for you. First things first, though: decide whether you want to stay with her (I wouldn't, but that's just me...I don't know your entire situation) and meanwhile, make an appointment with a therapist, STAT. Don't wait any more on this.
Well, when you know you did something really, REALLY wrong, you get scared...and though an adult will deal with that, an immature adult won't know how, and might turn and point a finger.
I'd be willing to bet it goes deeper than that... but then, sex generally does, especially between caring partners (v., say, casual sex/ONS, etc.). When you couldn't have sex with her, she may have read that as "wouldn't," and though I am assuming she knows about the abuse, she may have some idea or other that if you REALLY loved her you'd get past that and want her anyway. I don't know. The dynamics of sex can be pretty complicated.
You should be just as pissed with your so called best friend and how he did you like this.
The OP isn't married to his best friend.
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