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Get a lawyer and divorce your wife ASAP. Your best friend did you a favor by telling you about your wife, but you can't keep him as a friend. Get help for the effects of your childhood abuse. Good luck.
+100
...and also don't let her on that you are doing this, let it come as a surprise. Act quick before she does. No matter what - DO NOT be nice about it, don't fall for any sweet talk either.
So were millions of other people. Why didn't you seek therapy long ago to help you deal with, cope with and overcome this issue?
If you want to forgive your wife then do so, otherwise don't and proceed from the decision you make.
Ok, this is out of line.
No matter what the OP did or did not do, his wife should have opened her mouth and communicated with him, and kept her drawers on.
The OP will go to therapy when he is ready and not before. Blaming him for her actions are not helping. This may be the wakeup call that he needs.
CSD did not blame OP for anything. You added the blame yourself.
Clearly, OP does need some professional help to deal with his past trauma. For his own good, so he can enjoy his life more.
Agreed. No blame on OP in that post.
OP, your "best friend" clearly is no friend, so definitely ditch that relationship, if you haven't already. As far as your stupid ( yes, she is stupid) cheating wife, I'd ditch her as well. And then I'd go get some counseling on the sexual problem. You'll need to address that before you can move on to another relationship.
Irrelevant to the cheating the question was why didn't OP seek help to cope with the abuse. He's 30 and this happened when he was 8.
And the answer is none of our freaking business.
And yes, it was irrelevant to the cheating...so why ask?
The OP will seek help when they are good and ready.
There is so much shame attached to sexual abuse that you don't want to talk to anyone about it. You did not receive help when you needed it, so you doubt that anyone can help now.
Your wife betrayed you. That is not good. I am sorry for your pain.
Sometimes people can rebuild a relationship and sometimes they can not. Today I would suggest you not worry about that. Take a big step back from the emotional overload.
You need take care of yourself right now. Get to a therapist and work on all your issues. Take the time to see what you can overcome and how YOU can be happy in the future. Sexual compatibility is a big part of most happy relationships. That will likely be one issue to address in therapy. But right now you need a professional to talk to.
After you take care of you, you will be in a better position to decide what you want in future.
And yes, it was irrelevant to the cheating...so why ask?
The OP will seek help when they are good and ready.
There is so much shame attached to sexual abuse that you don't want to talk to anyone about it. You did not receive help when you needed it, so you doubt that anyone can help now.
Does that answer this ridiculous question?
He has no problem posting on a public forum so maybe it's time.
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