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It's not 19 vs 17. It's the college Freshman vs High School Senior gap. A year from now, it won't matter but it's a pretty big gap until next September.
It's neither weird nor creepy and 5 years from now you will be laughing that you were ever concerned enough to publish such a question asking for advice.
So I'm a 19 year old freshman in college, just turned 19 not a while ago and a few weeks over the summer for a while, I got really close with this girl and developed feelings for her and I think she feels the same. However, she's a 17 year old HS senior and due to that, I'm not sure if I should try and pursue a relationship. College isn't too far from her, but still. I really do like her, but I'm unsure of what to do now. It's not like a 20 year old dating a 17 year old, right as I don't like the idea of a much older guy pursuing a HS girl.
Less weird/creepy than a 20-year old Army officer dating a 15 year-old girl. Our families were neighbors and acquaintances so that helped. There was one date and then I left for overseas. We were married three years later. The marriage lasted 25 years.
So I'm a 19 year old freshman in college, just turned 19 not a while ago and a few weeks over the summer for a while, I got really close with this girl and developed feelings for her and I think she feels the same. However, she's a 17 year old HS senior and due to that, I'm not sure if I should try and pursue a relationship. College isn't too far from her, but still. I really do like her, but I'm unsure of what to do now. It's not like a 20 year old dating a 17 year old, right as I don't like the idea of a much older guy pursuing a HS girl.
It always depends.
When I just turned 17 I started I started dating this guy you was 20 and in college. We dated for almost 3 years and honestly it probably was not the greatest idea.
I was pushed in to situations that I really was not ready for. I was still in high school and pushed in to things I really was not mature enough to fully understand and I pretty much felt picked on by his freinds and their girl freinds because I was younger and they were all older. For me I think it pushed me too fast in to an age group I was not yet in and really took me away from the experience of being around people my own age and enjoying the last few years of high school. By the end of my first year of University when I developed a stronger level of confidence to stand up for myself and push back and place more demands on him ... he broke up with me. When I look back at all the nonsense I tolerated in this relationship because of how young and niave I was and how much trouble this guys could have gotten me in to ex. sneaking me in to night clubs when I was underage... getting me pregnant ... getting me in legal trouble as I was always around these older people that were drinking and doing drugs ( pretending like they were tuff, mature and knew what they were doing.... as many people in their late teens/ early 20s do). As a younger person I looked up to him ... and niavely thought he knew what he was doing because he was older... but once I got to his age I realize he had no idea what he was doing and was pulling me along a really bad path ... not likely on purpose... but that is just the ignorance of youth. It has taken me till my 30s to realize .. I don't and might never actually really understand everything because you learn as you experience new things and the process learning contiues during your entire life.
I am not staying your situation is not okay... but just be mindful of that high school/ college differences and don't try and push her too far out of her age group and try to meet in the middle ex be willing to meet in the middle ex doing some high school age appropriate stuff too and don't pressure her to stop acting and being like a 17 year old teenage girl. If you are going to date her please be mindful of that.
Less weird/creepy than a 20-year old Army officer dating a 15 year-old girl. Our families were neighbors and acquaintances so that helped. There was one date and then I left for overseas. We were married three years later. The marriage lasted 25 years.
Some times this situations work ... and sometimes they don't. There is no way to know for 100% sure in advance how any relationship will turn out. I had a 2nd cousin that got pregnant at 14 or 15 and to everyone's surprise her boy freind and her stayed together to this date. I am sure that is was crazy hard as it is hard being in a committeed long term relationship and being a parent as an adult. The are still together married and have 3 kids. They both were able to go bad to school part time... and she is actually working as a nurse now. They seem to be doing well. I know peole we got together and had kids in better postions (ex older, educated and with great jobs) and their marriages/relationships did not make it. It all depends.
So I'm a 19 year old freshman in college, just turned 19 not a while ago and a few weeks over the summer for a while, I got really close with this girl and developed feelings for her and I think she feels the same. However, she's a 17 year old HS senior and due to that, I'm not sure if I should try and pursue a relationship. College isn't too far from her, but still. I really do like her, but I'm unsure of what to do now. It's not like a 20 year old dating a 17 year old, right as I don't like the idea of a much older guy pursuing a HS girl.
Nothing wrong but you might want know the law in your state before you engaged in a sexual relationship! She is an underage minor, you could be charged as a sex offender and that will be on your record for life!
Ok but we can agree like 20 and 17 is odd, as I think the gap in maturity between a 17 year old and 20 year is much bigger than 19 and 17
Nah. Not weird. Once a person gets past 21 and they're dating people under the age of 18, things are a bit sketchier unless the 17yo was one of those people who graduated from HS before the age of 18.
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Less weird/creepy than a 20-year old Army officer dating a 15 year-old girl. Our families were neighbors and acquaintances so that helped. There was one date and then I left for overseas. We were married three years later. The marriage lasted 25 years.
Things were different back then, really. Most 15yo young women today aren't even as mature as 15yo young women from back in the 80s, when I was in high school.
I know because I have a 15yo daughter and I was SOOO far ahead of her in terms of life experience by age 15. So were all my peers.
Was I as mature as I thought I was at 15? Nope. But, I know that I was more mature than my daughter. She's not immature exactly. Just inexperienced.
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It always depends.
When I just turned 17 I started I started dating this guy you was 20 and in college. We dated for almost 3 years and honestly it probably was not the greatest idea.
I was pushed in to situations that I really was not ready for. I was still in high school and pushed in to things I really was not mature enough to fully understand and I pretty much felt picked on by his freinds and their girl freinds because I was younger and they were all older. For me I think it pushed me too fast in to an age group I was not yet in and really took me away from the experience of being around people my own age and enjoying the last few years of high school. By the end of my first year of University when I developed a stronger level of confidence to stand up for myself and push back and place more demands on him ... he broke up with me. When I look back at all the nonsense I tolerated in this relationship because of how young and niave I was and how much trouble this guys could have gotten me in to ex. sneaking me in to night clubs when I was underage... getting me pregnant ... getting me in legal trouble as I was always around these older people that were drinking and doing drugs ( pretending like they were tuff, mature and knew what they were doing.... as many people in their late teens/ early 20s do). As a younger person I looked up to him ... and niavely thought he knew what he was doing because he was older... but once I got to his age I realize he had no idea what he was doing and was pulling me along a really bad path ... not likely on purpose... but that is just the ignorance of youth. It has taken me till my 30s to realize .. I don't and might never actually really understand everything because you learn as you experience new things and the process learning contiues during your entire life.
I am not staying your situation is not okay... but just be mindful of that high school/ college differences and don't try and push her too far out of her age group and try to meet in the middle ex be willing to meet in the middle ex doing some high school age appropriate stuff too and don't pressure her to stop acting and being like a 17 year old teenage girl. If you are going to date her please be mindful of that.
Yeah... your situation might've been better if you'd graduated HS already and were headed for college or working a full-time, post-high school job.
If you and your BF at that time had both been in college (or you were about to start college) when you two started dating, your situation may have been far different.
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