Is it weird/creepy for a 19 year old to date a 17 year old? (dates, wife)
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I'm just asking the woman's opinion as an example, to see what she considers 'creepy'
But why?
This is important.
If you did not in some way have a sense that it WAS creepy (in your situation, and for whatever reason) then you would not have even thought of this question in the first place.
You get this, don't you? It IS creepy and we don't know why because we don't know you. Only you know why, but it is in there somewhere, for you, in this situation, so don't do it unless you want to feel like a creeper.
What laws would those be? Age of consent in most states is 16, some are younger while others throw in an age difference, so you'd be out of gas, I see your state of Illinois is 17.
You'd have a hard time convincing a District Attorney that a college freshman is in a position of "power and authority" over a high school Junior/Senior unless they worked together.
So no, the laws aren't really "on your side in this".
You certainly could forbid your daughter to see the guy, but that would be like throwing raw meat into a cage of hungry wolves.
Yes, I checked that after I posted and saw that it was 17.
So, I would just have to invoke my parental supervisory authority that my 17 year old minor child could not date a 19 year old college freshman.
When they graduate high school, they are free to date as they choose.
I'm just asking the woman's opinion as an example, to see what she considers 'creepy'
Guys who are super overly concerned about what is creepy, non trivial matters, and come to the internet to get the approval of people whom they don't know about what is or isn't creepy, are kind of... creepy
If you did not in some way have a sense that it WAS creepy (in your situation, and for whatever reason) then you would not have even thought of this question in the first place.
You get this, don't you? It IS creepy and we don't know why because we don't know you. Only you know why, but it is in there somewhere, for you, in this situation, so don't do it unless you want to feel like a creeper.
These are good questions, but I still think he thinks it may be creepy because his 17-19 peer group subliminally conveys this.
No argument, but you realize that your in theory daughter is in high school with 19 year olds. A college freshmen and a high school senior, or even junior, aren't that much different in maturity levels and brain development in any case (with the male being the laggard).
I think this poster is trying to say there's a power imbalance due to high school v. college, and under some circumstances I might agree (especially if the girl is in the earlier years of high school and the boy is in his later years of college), but in this particular one, I don't know...it's only two years, and I am not sure I know a single college student in his/her teens who is independent (especially from parents), worldly, savvy and so on as compared to a person just a couple of years younger. Things just don't seem to work that way these days. A lot of kids don't even go away to school, but instead still live with their parents. They just aren't necessarily in a power position v. someone only two years younger. They don't feel they're rowing their own ship. A lot don't even have jobs. And again, in this case just the age difference alone probably isn't enough to put him in a position of power (sometimes it can be, don't get me wrong).
College students (and late teens/early 20s in general) used to be more mature, worldly, independent, possibly living on their own, etc., yes. Today...people seem to grow up MUCH slower, and cling to "dependence" much longer (overall). Just my observation.
And once again, in this particular situation the age and even the stage (high school v. college) is almost irrelevant as the bottom line is that, with nobody having even suggested (before he came on here) that this could be "creepy," that's the word that came to the OP's mind, he repetitively asks the same question as if in desperation, he's already doing the "but...but...but what if?" thing (with "But okay, what if it was only one year...?") and it's very obvious that for these two, there is something not quite right, whether it's due to the age difference, the stage difference or something else.
Guys who are super overly concerned about what is creepy, non trivial matters, and come to the internet to get the approval of people whom they don't know about what is or isn't creepy, are kind of... creepy
I am female and at age 16 dated a college sophomore. This was in mid 1960s. He introduced me to blues music and was more interesting to talk to than most guys my age. He was drafted to VietbNam and wrote the most interesting letters. We decided we were better friends than lovers and remained so for some time.
Meh. There are 19 year old high seniors and 17 year old college freshman; really not a huge gap in maturity. If it were my kid? Assuming she/he has a good head on his/her shoulders, and it is a healthy, respectful relationship... I wouldn't be concerned. Seventeen is the brink of adulthood; keep a watchful eye and be a listening ear, but micromanaging their lives and relationships at that point isn't healthy.
Didn't we have another thread like this about a year ago? A college guy asking if it would be creepy to continue dating his HS gf after he'd gone off to college? There seems to be something about that change in status from HS student to college student that makes the guys wonder if there's something wrong with continuing to date their gf's, even if the guy is only one year ahead of her.
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