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Been hanging out with this woman for like 2 months, 12 dates.
everything has been good. she never flakes or cancels, actively tries to hang out, etc. hang out alot. i enjoy the sex, hopefully she does too lol. but she is normally pretty physical and escalates.
anyways, i told her around date 6-7, that i liked her and thought things were going well.
she didnt say anythign when i said i liked her. and she responded to me saying things were going well with "im having a good time"
however, afterwards, she did start textign me alot more.
fast forward a month. i bring it up again. i go, so where do you see us goiing? what do you think about us?
she goes "im still figuring that out. i dont think its time to stop hanging out."
im like do you see potential. she goes ya, and this is a good conversation to have, but lets ahve it next time. im pretty tired after that yoga class.(was a hard class)
At this point, I am starting to lose interest as I dont believe its going somewhere. Or is this a slightly emotional reaction?
Been hanging out with this woman for like 2 months, 12 dates.
everything has been good. she never flakes or cancels, actively tries to hang out, etc. hang out alot. i enjoy the sex, hopefully she does too lol. but she is normally pretty physical and escalates.
anyways, i told her around date 6-7, that i liked her and thought things were going well.
she didnt say anythign when i said i liked her. and she responded to me saying things were going well with "im having a good time"
however, afterwards, she did start textign me alot more.
fast forward a month. i bring it up again. i go, so where do you see us goiing? what do you think about us?
she goes "im still figuring that out. i dont think its time to stop hanging out."
im like do you see potential. she goes ya, and this is a good conversation to have, but lets ahve it next time. im pretty tired after that yoga class.(was a hard class)
At this point, I am starting to lose interest as I dont believe its going somewhere. Or is this a slightly emotional reaction?
In my opinion, you're operating under social constructs for how you ought to feel and when to feel it. Who cares how many dates you should wait till before saying this or that? What matters - because you are the center of your universe and no one's else's - is that you want this to go somewhere and it's not. This woman's happy to stay in park, and she has every right to do so. You have every right to move on, friend zone her, whatevs. The hardest step is making a definitive decision- stay, move on. Once you do, you won't believe how easy it is, even if you initially miss her. Just not having the stress of wondering how you should feel and think is well worth being a little lonelier than you were before.
I'm kind of a pig, but what has worked best for me is having fun and having sex and not pushing for anything more. Relationships seem to go more smoothly when the woman pushes for commitment.
I don't know why, but the more I only want sex the more women want relationships with me. Its always been the women I try to get commitment out of that run for the hills.
Hmmm...as a woman I'm going to say she's a little lukewarm and she's keeping you as an option but she isn't fully sold at this point.
I don't think that's "because" you've said the things you have, though. I don't think it works that way. When the person wants things to move forward, generally she will be thrilled to hear "so where do you see us going?" and the like. If she isn't, that isn't because of your presentation or anything. It's because she's just not really invested yet.
I can feel that your heart is really in this. But you need to be prepared in case you're feeling more than she is. Are you dating anyone else? Are you still looking around?
I'm kind of a pig, but what has worked best for me is having fun and having sex and not pushing for anything more. Relationships seem to go more smoothly when the woman pushes for commitment.
I don't know why, but the more I only want sex the more women want relationships with me. Its always been the women I try to get commitment out of that run for the hills.
lol same
however, ive been the exact opposite of needy with this girl. It could of leaked thru subconciously or something, but i have taken things way slower than normal.
so, after a while, i have slowly started to wonder is she likes me, but doesnt want a relationship with me. which is fine, but i dont want to be hanging out with someone 3x's a week who sees 0 long term potential. setting myself up for ruin
Hmmm...as a woman I'm going to say she's a little lukewarm and she's keeping you as an option but she isn't fully sold at this point.
I don't think that's "because" you've said the things you have, though. I don't think it works that way. When the person wants things to move forward, generally she will be thrilled to hear "so where do you see us going?" and the like. If she isn't, that isn't because of your presentation or anything. It's because she's just not really invested yet.
I can feel that your heart is really in this. But you need to be prepared in case you're feeling more than she is. Are you dating anyone else? Are you still looking around?
I cut things off with over girls, because we had been hanging out 2-3x's a week. and in the past, ive felt ive lost out by not slowing down and focusing on one person and seeing where it goes.
I feel after two months of 2-3 hangouts a week. for me to get that response, its almost a no. I feel like its enough time to have a long lasting relationship, that a woman should be excited by now.
additionally, i feel like im being misled because she wont clearly say whats going on.
I cut things off with over girls, because we had been hanging out 2-3x's a week. and in the past, ive felt ive lost out by not slowing down and focusing on one person and seeing where it goes.
I feel after two months of 2-3 hangouts a week. for me to get that response, its almost a no. I feel like its enough time to have a long lasting relationship, that a woman should be excited by now.
additionally, i feel like im being misled because she wont clearly say whats going on.
Okay...honey, time to broaden your horizons again.
I'm not saying she's a bad person. She's probably great. If she weren't you wouldn't like hanging out with her, right? But she may not be "the one" for you and if she's already making you feel rather on edge and misled, then you two aren't on the same page. You COULD take one shot at it and directly ask her if she would be exclusive or whatever, that's an option, but be prepared in case the answer is no and then graciously just move on. Just my view.
FTR, I think you did this the right way, slowing down and so on. You didn't do anything wrong, at least not from what you've written here. Sometimes things just don't connect the way we want them to. Again...you could always make sure by actually asking her outright.
At this point, I am starting to lose interest as I dont believe its going somewhere. Or is this a slightly emotional reaction?
Without knowing more about you (mainly age) I can't say if your reaction is 'emotional' or not. But where is 'anywhere'? What about the journey? Must it always be about the destination? Of course it's going somewhere. You just don't know where. Why do you think she does... or should? You'll (both) get there soon enough. Sooner if you attempt to fix what ain't broken. IMO.
If she really liked you, she would have already brought up the exclusivity conversation by now and gone out of her way to do so. Since she told you she's still "figuring things out", it probably means another guy is in the picture and you're just a convenient F-buddy. This won't end well. On to the next one.
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