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I've heard it too...on the internet...or on a "I know a friend whose sister's aunt's boss's daughter's ex-boyfriend knows who goes out 3 times a week just to get free food!" fully believable, verifiable sources.
IRL, in even a loosely connectable way (say...a friend's direct friend, whom we both actually know)?
Not one single person. Not a one.
I've heard it from male coworkers and on first dates.
I've heard it from male coworkers and on first dates.
Were you able to verify either? How did these guys all know that was what each of these women was doing? Did the women confess? It couldn't have been sour grapes, "Oh, she must just do this to all kinds of guys, this must all just be for free food, it can't be that I wasn't attractive to her after we spoke a bit or anything?" but rather, these were all definitely cases of women finding brand-new dates, on individual days at least half of every single week?
Did you ever meet any of these girls?
Is there the least possibility that men are hearing the same stuff and assuming the same of their dates? At all? If not, probably, some of this is directly verifiable. So I'm not excluding the possibility. I'm legitimately asking. I just wonder how people hear these stories and know they must be true, no matter how unlikely and logistically awkward, to say the least, they are if you think about the actual practice of them.
For instance, if it is THIS epidemic - that you are hearing it from numbers of guys - do you personally know any women who do this? 3-4 days a week? For free food? All different dates/men? If it's common, you should. Personally. At least a few.
Were you able to verify either? How did these guys all know that was what each of these women was doing? Did the women confess? It couldn't have been sour grapes, "Oh, she must just do this to all kinds of guys, this must all just be for free food, it can't be that I wasn't attractive to her after we spoke a bit or anything?" but rather, these were all definitely cases of women finding brand-new dates, on individual days at least half of every single week?
Did you ever meet any of these girls?
Is there the least possibility that men are hearing the same stuff and assuming the same of their dates? At all? If not, probably, some of this is directly verifiable. So I'm not excluding the possibility. I'm legitimately asking. I just wonder how people hear these stories and know they must be true, no matter how unlikely and logistically awkward, to say the least, they are if you think about the actual practice of them.
For instance, if it is THIS epidemic - that you are hearing it from numbers of guys - do you personally know any women who do this? 3-4 days a week? For free food? All different dates/men? If it's common, you should. Personally. At least a few.
Can you, maybe just sometimes, just believe what I say?
And I am not saying every day of the week, but for some it is a hobby to meet someone new with the intention of a nice conversation and a free meal. For them, it is something to do in the evenings or weekends. I have had a coworker in VA who used to do that.
And I have a coworker who looks below average and he told me that most women who are out of his league and who contact him, are out to scam him somehow. They are either Green Card hunters, or transvestites, prostitutues, or after a bit of texting and he suggests to meet and have her pick a place, they choose a place like NOBU. His profile says he is an enginner, so the women think he has $$$.
Also, I have had dates and I usually suggest to meet for a drink so I can leave fast if necessary, and during the conversation they tell me this is unusual. They told me they often feel like meal tickets and used for free food.
Okay, I think I have elaborated enough, the nitpicking at my post is annoying.
It's a hobby for a minor few women, and I do mean minor.
But honestly what woman is going to tell their friends/relatives that they go out on dates to get free meals and boost their ego?
Do you have men going out and telling everyone they see escorts?
Do regular posters on CD tell everyone they spend most of their free time on CD?
Just because people don't go spouting out what they do in their personal time doesn't mean it doesn't happen.
That's true, but the poster you're quoting says these people are telling her about it.
So given the above it would have to be quite a few women just routinely doing this, adding in the fact that the OP has heard of this "quite a bit" PLUS all those who, according to you, are hiding that they do it.
I'm not buying it. Forget a girlfriend "telling" me she does this, it would be a simple matter of observation. I've lived a long time. I've dated since the 80s, as a teenager. I haven't observed this. 3-4 times a week? Free meals? Different guys? Maybe on the MOST RANDOM off week, 2 or 3 dates. In which case it was big news, we were all like "slow down!", it didn't repeat because it just happened that she met up with several new people. We'd joke, call her a playgirl, etc., that crazy week would pass, the end.
Can you, maybe just sometimes, just believe what I say?
And I am not saying every day of the week, but for some it is a hobby to meet someone new with the intention of a nice conversation and a free meal. For them, it is something to do in the evenings or weekends. I have had a coworker in VA who used to do that.
And I have a coworker who looks below average and he told me that most women who are out of his league and who contact him, are out to scam him somehow. They are either Green Card hunters, or transvestites, prostitutues, or after a bit of texting and he suggests to meet and have her pick a place, they choose a place like NOBU. His profile says he is an enginner, so the women think he has $$$.
Also, I have had dates and I usually suggest to meet for a drink so I can leave fast if necessary, and during the conversation they tell me this is unusual. They told me they often feel like meal tickets and used for free food.
Okay, I think I have elaborated enough, the nitpicking at my post is annoying.
I often do agree with you, Eve. But I do think it's important, on claims that will only fan the flames of men already very, very angry at and distrustful of women as a whole, to verify them. If they're actually true as a larger thing (not just one person's experience...either yours OR mine), then okay. But if not, they can do more harm than good...even if that wasn't your intent.
My intent isn't to pick apart your argument to shout you down but take the argument apart to see if the basis of it (i.e., what you're being told) is really accurate. YOUR experience of HEARING guys say this happens? I don't doubt that at all. I don't think you're a liar. I don't disbelieve you.
What I've noticed a few times on CD is unless a poster has never experienced this, it doesn't happen in real life at all. Nope, unless a poster has first hand experience or heard from his friends or relatives it just cannot happen. Impossible.
What I've noticed a few times on CD is unless a poster has never experienced this, it doesn't happen in real life at all. Nope, unless a poster has first hand experience or heard from his friends or relatives it just cannot happen. Impossible.
Well, people do tend to BS a lot, exaggerate things, etc. That's why it's become harder for me to give advice.
What I've noticed a few times on CD is unless a poster has never experienced this, it doesn't happen in real life at all. Nope, unless a poster has first hand experience or heard from his friends or relatives it just cannot happen. Impossible.
Sigh.
I'm not just saying I've never done this.
I'm saying no girl I've ever known has done this.
That doesn't mean "it doesn't happen in real life at all" and I didn't refute that it can EVER happen. Extreme minority? I'd say so. Just like any other very extreme, untenable, weird "you won't believe this!" dating story. The assertion was that it happens often. I am wondering how people know this. I guess I can stop wondering and just accept that it does because somebody said so? Not sure how that's any more accurate than your hyperbolic "it doesn't happen in real life at all."
I do think it's important to Snopes out the more outrageous me v. them dating claims, because they only make people more hostile to one another, and in the end, less successful because of it. Going into a relationship suspecting the opposite sex of ridiculous, horrific things can't be good for anybody. I just can't see the benefit.
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