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This was right after I had ordered an $18 Halibut..So yeah. I didn't say anything to her as I wanted to be polite, but ouch that's a punch to my wallet.
Tonight was our first dinner together and she didn't offer to help pay the bill either. To be fair she did offer me a piece, and also it is Valentines and I am the one who asked her out. She was excited about going out too..
I'm torn on why the sticker shock is bugging me, I keep thinking about it. I feel like the date was fun and she is incredible in a lot of ways and I find her attractive.. but I'm kinda feeling put off a bit too about it...
I paid for the bill. My concern isn't that I paid. I'm glad to do something nice for her.
My concern is I feel she wasn't considerate at all, and it is weighing on my mind. I'm sorting out my feelings right now. I find her attractive in many ways, but that was a big turn off :/
Next time choose a restaurant that doesn't offer selections out of your price range. You can't really invite a person out to dinner, then decide it's inconsiderate for her to choose from the menu.
However, if this was a test (including the part about her not paying half) and her choices are a deal breaker for you, then they are, and you can now move on. In that case you are not right for eachother.
Glad your first date went well otherwise.
BTW, I always loved coffee and a walk around town for first dates and getting to know someone.
My concern is I feel she wasn't considerate at all, and it is weighing on my mind. I'm sorting out my feelings right now. I find her attractive in many ways, but that was a big turn off :/
It's a valid concern.
Even when my husband and I would go out for special occasions, I rarely went hog wild and got the most expensive thing on the menu. Did either of you say anything about the choice at all?
Well yeah, of course you are the one who asked her out, men are 90% of the time. Thats just a terrible argument by the double standard crowd. With that said, if you cant afford to drop $50 on a plate of food, maybe instead of dating, you should be focused on improving your finances? Also, as JerZ said, yuou dont have to blow a ton of money on a first date. Next time do a coffee or a drink, somehting with an easy out
If you asked her out then I would expect you to pay. But on a first date I wouldn't order a very expensive item either. Actually I would never order a $50. dinner. That should let you know what kind of woman she is. Glad the date went well other than that. Next time do something that is not so costly...and take it from there.
If she continues to have expensive taste than she might not be the right one for you.
How is your playing "big baller" going to help the OP?
Im not playing anything, but as a man If I want to take some lucky woman out, im ready to pay without thinking twice about it. If she offers to reach for her purse, I appreciate the gesture but would still pickup the tab.
You said it was your first 'meal".
You've already been on other dates?
One thought is if she's not seemed that way up until now, maybe she had the idea Valentine's Day was an excuse to do something special and wouldn't have done that on Monday.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jobster
You know damn well she wouldn't have ordered that if she had to pay for it. Toss her.
Agreed. This is why you don’t do dinner as a first date.
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You can't really invite a person out to dinner, then decide it's inconsiderate for her to choose from the menu.